The TEEN years

smallBiscuit

My daughter is 13, just turning 14 and we are beginning to hit against the teen behaviour, stealing from our bags/wallets (only a euro or so, but its not the point) lying constantly, attitude, I'm sure those of you with teens will know what I mean. Does anyone have any advise on how I should treat her?

My initial reaction is to jump down her throat, but that may not be the best way to proceed. Im now worried, i remember myself as a teen!

barrett1965

Tell me about it. People use to say to me that "it will get easier when they get older." All lies! It's a different ball-game altogether. I'm not going to insult you by offering advice.

I don't have the stealing problem, but I get loads of attitude alright.

All the best.

smallBiscuit

I still consider myself lucky, we have a friend whos 14 year old doesn't go to school, if grounded will jump out a window, who openly does drugs and who is (we think) a bike for a gang of lads. 6 months ago she was a lovely girl. Now I thank the gods mine isn't like that.

Yet:)

Ibjiba

smallBiscuit wrote:

I still consider myself lucky, we have a friend whos 14 year old doesn't go to school, if grounded will jump out a window, who openly does drugs and who is (we think) a bike for a gang of lads. 6 months ago she was a lovely girl. Now I thank the gods mine isn't like that.

Yet:)

Only positive thing is that she may still change. (If you can wait a couple of years, that is)

barrett1965

smallBiscuit wrote:

I still consider myself lucky, we have a friend whos 14 year old doesn't go to school, if grounded will jump out a window, who openly does drugs and who is (we think) a bike for a gang of lads. 6 months ago she was a lovely girl. Now I thank the gods mine isn't like that.

Yet:)

Absolutely, they're our kids at the end of the day. I probably came across a bit harsh earlier. They still need us as parents, but in different ways.

bullpost

I can recommend a book called "Whatever! - A down to earth guide to parenting teenagers". Its by Gill Hines and Alison Baverstock.
I find it good because its pretty down to earth and has a great question and answer section which covers nearly all of the issues and probably has most of the questions you'll want to answer. I don't always agree with the answers given but its good for getting your head around possible approaches to whatever the issue is. Can't remember where I bought it - either Easons or Hodges Figges.

krisdublin

Firstly i Would Try Find Out What They are using the money for?? Smokes/drink/internet/phone credit ect then maybe give an allowance on the unserstanding that You wont tolerate Stealing at all.find out Who they hang around with speak to thier parents see are they having the same issue. all teens need and want space However Give them an inch they take a mile and that do no one any good,if your para about the teen i suggest give them space have someone on their level speak to them without thier nowing of corse, god help ya teen will turn ya Grey lol also keep an eye on phone get pin and go on meteor or watever their on and see who there txtng times how frequent ect hope i helped and didnt worry ya more :P
kris

The Big Red Button

Ah sure she's 18 now, the worst of it is probably over!

smallBiscuit

yup, she's 18, and has her own place, job, life

Looking back, she was easy as a teen but I've 2 pre teens ........ the crap may hit the fan yet

cbyrd

You need to set some ground rules and give her a little more responsibility.. i know she's only 13 but if you go back to the terrible 2's it's more or less the same.. pushing boundaries..
My girl was 13 in Feb and was already about 5 months into the teen diva thing.. we've raised her pocket money to €40 per month.. €5 per week and €20 credit top up that gives her unlimited texts to any network.. now that she has holidays she's a bit more relaxed. We've put ground rules in place, she has her daily chores and then she's free for the afternoon, if they're not done she doesn't get out and there's no negotiation. She gives she gets.. If she's going to be late home she has to ring and if she goes over time and doesn't ring she gets the time deducted from the next night..
In saying that she robs my makeup and straighteners and uses my expensive conditioner and we have murder over it.. but i did the exact same thing when i was a teen..although much older
Pick your battles. . no point having a hissy fit over an untidy room and the same reaction to her coming home late.. and remember count to 10 before you react .. or 100

smallBiscuit

she's 18, a little old for setting ground rules. As for responsibility, she's renting a house with friends. It doesn't get more responsible.

Look at the age of the thread, this was 5 years ago

January

Haha, thanks for updating even when the thread was revived by someone else! Thread closed so it doesn't cause more confusion.