Probs with guy i met online

LegacyUser

Ok, I'm not naming website or giving any other details here, but I think I may have affected someone unintentionally/

one day in "shop_Y", i noticed a guy who worked there and he smiled at me. i smiled back and thought nothing of it.

Three days later, i happened to be browsing an online social website and I accidentally found him. i sent him a message asking "Were you the guy i seen in Shop_Y".

After a couple of mins, he came online but he didn't reply. I sent him a quick message saying "Sorry if it was an innappropriate question, never mind".

However, on Sunday nite i noticed he had still not replied. in the meanwhile, i sorta had a growing crush on him because of his online pic(it wasn't rude or anything) but I was growing ever more intrigued by it.

I sent him one last message, just saying that i knew i emailed him last week and I wanted to know did he fancy a chat on MSN sometime.

But tonite, he's removed his pic from his profile (without me ever mentioning anything to do with his appearance and never replied to my msgs. I'm just wondering did i appear stalkerish to him, or is he just simply un-phased by me.

I wish it was the latter, because I don't want to seem anything like a stalker because I'm not. And, I know I'll bump into him if i ever go grocery shopping in "Shop_Y again, which i usually do

P.S. Shop_Y is a major Supermarket chain, and if this guy browses the website i don't want the name of it to fly in his face.

spinandscribble

i'd say if he ever came across this he'd know it was him.
if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel?
i'd feel creeped out.

biko

Just let it slide and don't approach him again. If you see him in the shop, ignore him - he's not interested.

LegacyUser

Personally i think you did catch this guys eye in the 'shop y' and if you had talked to him personally i think things would have been different. I cant answer for this guy or do i no any thing about him but maybe when u seen him on the net and you mailed him he got embaressed being seen to be using a dating site (not that theres anything wrong with it) so decided to take away his pic so he
wouldnt be seen by anyone else he new! your not a stalker!!!

Pompey Magnus

Do you have a photo of yourself on your profile? If not he might think it was some of his friends winding him up.

PeakOutput

if this was a dating site he could be embarassed that someone in his locale saw him on it

mloc

yeah tbh 3 messages from someone online that I didn't know I'd probably be a bit freaked out.

pretend it never happened.

melekalikimaka

get his profile picture, print it on a tshirt and wear in into the shop...then play it all off as a big joke

Hankyspanky123

Some people think the internet is totally anynomous, he discovered to the contrary, im sure he became a bit apprehensive as a result and removed any identifiable things from his profile.

To be honest, if i was discovered on a site (Bebo/Myspace are a bit different) but if it was something like Hot or Not or a dating site, id be a little uncomfortable/embarassed that someone in my locality had found me...

Dont take it personally, i think you can also take it that hes probably not interested in anything more or any further contact. Leave this one be hun!

Melekalikimaka, that is a great idea, imagine that happening to you at work!

Lola123

mloc wrote:

yeah tbh 3 messages from someone online that I didn't know I'd probably be a bit freaked out.

pretend it never happened.

Have to say, I'd be the same.
Have been in a similar situation before...once the 2nd message was sent without me having even replied i was freaked out.
In real life it wouldn't seem stalkerish but online it might.

Maple

3 messages were a bit much but i doubt you were the reason he took his photo down. Just chalk it down to experience and forget about it.

aye

most of those sites use a subscription basis to view and send messages. its possible his subscription was over and couldnt even look at his messages.

i wouldnt worry about it.

Calibos

Almost exact reverse of that situation. A few years ago when I was a little insecure about my looks I had a free profile on hot or not. I was browsing the Meet me section filtered for Ireland and came across a cute regular customers profile. Free membership didn't allow actual personal typed messages but only a few default greetings. Sent her of one of these anyway. Not that the message meant anything but she would have seen my picture and recognised me...............

..........never saw her in the shop again!

If she didn't fancy me in the slightest then fair enough. If however, she might have fancied me but was embarressed about being spotted.....Well damn you girl. Like I or a significant proportion of people would give a flying f***. Course this was a few years ago. Online dating much more socially acceptable nowadays.

egan007

Stalker !

koneko

biko wrote:

Just let it slide and don't approach him again. If you see him in the shop, ignore him - he's not interested.

Spot on.
IMO you messaged him too much. He's not interested. He would have replied otherwise. Just forget about it and move on.

jdivision

Ireland's a small place and so there's always chance you'll come across somebody you know. I looked up one a few weeks ago and on first page there was a pic of a female friend of mine and on the second page there was a pic of another female friend of mine. Was a bit surprised but logged off then.

Talliesin

Hankyspanky123 wrote:

Some people think the internet is totally anynomous, he discovered to the contrary, im sure he became a bit apprehensive as a result and removed any identifiable things from his profile.

I think this is it exactly. Fact is the Internet is generally a lot less anonymous than being in a public place, but some people really believe otherwise.

Possibly he was then led to think of things he'd said and done on the Internet (whether he was acting like a dickhead and doing the sort of thing that gets people listed at http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/banlist.php or just saying things about himself he'd rather not be public) and you disabused him of the idea of that anonymity.

He then reassessed things in light of your demonstrating how public he was being and decided he'd rather not have such a public profile after all.

In other words it's not that he thought you were a stalker, it's more that he realised you could have been.

azezil

Wow, 3 messages thats way OTT, if someone doesn't reply to the first one, leave it there!

Yes, I wouldn't blame him for thinking you're stalking him, I did when someone did similar to me!!

want2play

He's not interested. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

cheeky_guy

Considering the OP is on an internet dating site in the first place, maybe he just did'nt find you attractive. Did anybody even consider that??

Caliden

3 messages was a bit stalkerish. I'd avoid using that site and maybe if he's working while you're shopping see if he smiles back.

If he averts his vision or doesn't smile enthusiastically then pretend like it never happened.

Rb

Wow, persistant.

I'd consider moving town/county.

Niamho!

soupy,,, wrote:

Personally i think you did catch this guys eye in the 'shop y' and if you had talked to him personally i think things would have been different. I cant answer for this guy or do i no any thing about him but maybe when u seen him on the net and you mailed him he got embaressed being seen to be using a dating site (not that theres anything wrong with it) so decided to take away his pic so he
wouldnt be seen by anyone else he new! your not a stalker!!!

I agree with this. i'd imagine thats what it was....even though you're using it aswell so its not like you would give him abuse but i think i'd be well freaked out if someone i knew spotted me oin a dating site. (Not that theres anything wrong with it. See my "Internet Dating" post as proof!! lol

Niamho!

God....ya dont ask for advice on here if you want lies....you really get the Blunt truth!! lol

jtsuited

N&#237 wrote: »

I don't want to seem anything like a stalker because I'm not.

Are you sure? Have you read your Original Post? Honestly?

Miss Fluff

rb_ie wrote:

Wow, persistant.

I'd consider moving town/county.

LOL most definitley. If I were him, my saucepans would be hidden and my bunny sent to stay with a relative. Sorry OP but you were WAY too full on.

Also, I think with most dating websites people expect to be contacted by people they don't know. The fact you messaged him and told him where he works would probably COMPLETELY freak him out.

His nerves are probably shot to bits at this stage. Shop elsewhere.