So do I ask her or what?

I shot...

OK, an ex-girlfriend and mine have had a pretty weird relationship. We broke up approx. two years ago, because I was moving to Galway from Kildare/Dublin but we always manage to crash into each other on at least twice / three times a year, either accidentally or on purpose, and we often end up getting together briefly. This is good for her because she's not into relationships. I, however love being around her, but the minute its all over, I'm in bits again. But even those isolated moments of happiness I have with her make the rest of the misery worth it. I'm going to be playing a gig in Dublin this week, and I'm wondering whether I should ask her to come or not. All sensibilities and logic dictate that I don't, but I have a tendency to be relatively impervious to logic or reason. What do y'all think?

MooseJam

yea ask her

here.from.day.1

I shot... wrote:

OK, an ex-girlfriend and mine have had a pretty weird relationship. We broke up approx. two years ago, because I was moving to Galway from Kildare/Dublin but we always manage to crash into each other on at least twice / three times a year, either accidentally or on purpose, and we often end up getting together briefly. This is good for her because she's not into relationships. I, however love being around her, but the minute its all over, I'm in bits again. But even those isolated moments of happiness I have with her make the rest of the misery worth it. I'm going to be playing a gig in Dublin this week, and I'm wondering whether I should ask her to come or not. All sensibilities and logic dictate that I don't, but I have a tendency to be relatively impervious to logic or reason. What do y'all think?

If its what you want the worst she can say is no, but is it what you want. I mean if your looking for a relationship and shes not it would be easier to cut her out and go through the hurt of getting over it rather than constantly going through misery for these brief moments of happiness.

Talliesin

You know. You can take the last two sentences and rephrase them thus:

"Should I do a thing that I shouldn't do?"

Wit a lot of similar posts I'd ask the OP about what it is that they want and what they truly think the other person wants. You've already answered that.

Wibbs

I shot... wrote:

But even those isolated moments of happiness I have with her make the rest of the misery worth it.

That's the line that stands out for me. Don't sell yourself so short.

I think maybe you should meet her again and see what's what. If nothing else to close that particular door in your life and move on. If you don't you may sit there moping and wondering "what if". If you want to try again with her, meet her, see where you stand and if you want more then put it to her. If she isn't sure etc, walk and find someone who does want you. Better in the long run.

Maple

Don't. Why put yourself through the heartbreak? You're looking for something that she's not able to give you. Cut the ties man.

spinandscribble

you already know what i think since im your friend but...
shes got another guy on her arm each time you see her.
she'll probably bring some guy to the gig and instead of having a ball you'll be miserable wondering.
she knows you want more.
she wants a quick kiss each time you bump into eachother, you want a relationship. shes had bfs in the past two yrs you said to me which tells me she knows what she wants. she just wants to be young and experience everything.
thats why she keeps her distance and you dont hear from her much.

your hoping just maybe, just maybe she'll change her mind because your really down on yourself.

dont do this to yourself.

besides if i was this girl i'd feel kinda pressured since shes made it clear distance is what you need. shes doing this for your own good.

biko

I have a tendency to be relatively impervious to logic or reason

I can't help you then