Weird Decision

LegacyUser

Hello all,

To be honest, I'll probably re-read this thread in the morning and berate myself, but right now, I'm online, chatting to my long distance boyfriend, and looking up what is probably a bazillion websites on immigration to his country.

And, it's a very very depressing read. Leave alone the fact it's all very formal, legal type style of writing, it's basically telling me that my best (only?!) hope of actually getting a Visa to go live with him, due to my job, qualifications, work experience, etc etc, is to marry him, live with him for a year, and then apply for the Visa on family grounds.

But, even in normal terms, I'm not the biggest fan of the marriage thing. It's only in recent times that a (married) friend managed to explain their understanding of the general thing, and explained it in a way that made sense to me, and kind of opened my mind to the notion. Not to mention my fella, who knows damned well how I feel about the issue, jokes about it so much it's subtely crept into my mind as a totally valid thing.

But, it's one thing marrying him eventually a long time down the road because I'm madly in love with him.

It's a whole other issue when it comes to marrying someone for a convenience... for legal status... makes something I've never been particularly fond of even more woodden and less meaningful. And though I love him madly, I honestly do, I'd really rather live with him for a good deal longer before I made a decision like that. Yet, in order to actually do that, it's looking as though I'd have to marry him first. Odd little circle. It's not a possibility for him to come over here, by the way.

I'm really just curious as to what any of you think? Am I completely mad even contemplating it? Does it make any sense?

Thanks anyway.

LegacyUser

marriage lol wrote:

Hello all,

To be honest, I'll probably re-read this thread in the morning and berate myself,

Actually, I'm not regretting this thread yet, I really would like to see the replies and opinions people may have. I can't make up my mind if this is the silliest thing that's popped into my head in the last 4 months, or if it's a perfectly logical, rational idea.

LegacyUser

It might help if we knew :

Where U are from
Where partner is from

Maybe other people have worked an angle
on it ...

Drift

Not sure what country you're talking about but a friend of mine is married to an American girl in the states and he had to go through a series of interviews to prove that he was getting married to her for the right reasons. Luckily he was.

Maybe someone like Ruu could help you on this if it is the states you're talking about ..... also it may be more suited to the legal forum.

LegacyUser

It's not America. Not sure exactly what the rules are, but the main one is that we have to have been married for a year, and living together, with various forms of proof etc.

As far as the 'right reasons' goes, I don't especially want to leave Ireland. I like my job, my friends, my home. I only want to be over there in order to be with him. It's not feasible for at least 5 more years for him to come here.

I wouldn't say this is suited to the Legal Forum, as I'm not so much asking about the legalities, but the moral/personal aspect of this. Maybe I haven't explained this very well, but basically, it's not bloody easy to get a Visa to go live with him. We are mad about each other, but have not had the chance to live together for any sort of long period yet. Marriage, ideally, is not something I'd do any time soon, but wouldn't rule it out, if, after a few more years together, I was still crazy about him. But if marriage was the only way we could actually rack up that time together in the first place.. am I crazy to be contemplating it? Or is it logical?

MojoMaker

Why can't he come here? There are now some very well defined 'fiancé' visa paths with the most unlikely countries, and very few of them have to be proven initially. Is he in the armed forces somewhere and can't get out of it for a number of years?

LegacyUser

He has family a kid over there, and there's not a hope in hell of him leaving the son until he's older. I wouldnt dream of even thinking of asking him to.