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funeral dilemma...family situation

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  • 13-07-2007 12:13am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi,

    my grandmother passed away there the other day and the funeral is tomorrow. my father (the son of my grandmother) afew years back left my mother after it turned out he had 3 kids by another woman. now my mother has never gotten over this but she was still close to my grand parents. i have been really cold with my father ever since

    my mother and brother has decided they are not going to after funeral thing in the local bar. the thing is i want to go and show them all that i dont give a flying **** and im not going to be made to feel im not wanted.

    now i have no intention of talking to the other woman or her children. but i hope my mother isnt annoyed of me going. (me and my brother have not even been invited to travel to the church in the funeral car, as my cousins of my dads brother dads other children are) this kinda bothers me too. furthermore my uncle (dads bro) and my dad had fallen out for years, and over the last few months are best buds. now he is all freindly with the other kids too. it seems like me my bro and my mam are irrelevant now

    how would people handle this situation?


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    #2
    Evil Phil
    Registered Users Posts: 7,468 ✭✭✭Evil Phil


    I would do what ever I wanted to do, in fact that's what I did :)

    Its up to you how you want your relationships with your family members to go, it's not your mother or your brothers to decide that. You want to go to the wake then go to the wake. Maybe even try talking to your Dad, I'm quite sure he wants to talk to you.


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    #3
    Peewee_lane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 649 ✭✭✭Peewee_lane


    The best way to handle these situations is not to hope that it all ends up going with the flow.

    I would asap sit down and talk to your mother and ask her how she feels about attending the afters. It was her husband after all and her mother in law.

    As for the step brothers/sisters. You can't ignore them for an act your father commited. If you want nothing to do with them and the other woman, I would be a as gracious and as dry as possible and have one drink and leave. None of them will become your best friend over one drink, and if you stay gracious you'll be giving the family good face but not causing arguments, etc.

    As for your father, and the way he's fmaily hopped and pushing you's out, it's obvious from your post that its bothering you with not being in the car and the cousins being included rather than you his blood, I would say call him up and talk to him.

    Just talk to everyone concerned, be a shoulder to lean on and support others.

    I offer my condolences and hope the mass and afters go smoothly.


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