nothing?

LegacyUser

ok, my problem is sex related not too sure if it can be posted here but here goes

Admittedly im new to having sex but, sex just does nothing for me, what i mean is i don't get turned on by foreplay let alone come anywhere close to orgasm during actual penetration.

I suppose some backround info would help im 22, only lost my virginity about 6 months ago, to a guy i'd been seeing on and off for a while who i didn't have any real feelings for, just to get it over with, we both knew it was just a one night thing. He was very experienced. It was a disaster. In fairness to him he tried his best, oral, fingering, etc but i'd never felt less aroused in my life. Neither of us came. I was so dissappointed because well i dunno i always thought i'd enjoy sex, i never had any problem making myself cum. Even the thought of having sex turned me on.
I put it down to first time nerves or whatever even though i wasn't particularly nervous. I even started to think i might be gay or something but the idea of sex with another women repulses me. (not that i have anything against gay men/women)

so i decided to wait until i met someone i actually liked. I met a great guy who i cared about and was very attracted to, all he'd have to do was kiss me and i was turned on. Recently the enveitable happened and we had sex, and nothing i got absolutely nothing from it. He seemed to really enjoy it and to be honest i got more of a kick from the fact that he came than the actual sex itself. So i suppose my question is what the hell is wrong with me? surely this can't be normal, i know a lot of women don't cum through penetrative sex but i don't even get aroused from foreplay? I want to enjoy sex, and i do in that its nice being that close and intimate with someone i have feelings for, but i don't actually get any pleasure from it. ?

Sleepy

What does he do differently from when you do it yourself? Teach him how to do things the way you like.

Jesus Wept

Can you cum when your by yourself?

If you can't get yourself off, it's a big ask to expect someone else to get you off.

Marksie

I would agree with the other posters, have yuo examined your own sexual response without anyone opresent?
Knowing what turns yourself on and what arouses you is a vital first step.

It is about communication between the two of you.
Also, you may have an issue starting in that you have had negative experiences very early on.

Both of you talke a step back and start to explore each other withouit the expectations of sex, it will tune you into each other and also allow you to learn about yourselves and each other

LegacyUser

Can you cum when your by yourself?

If you can't get yourself off, it's a big ask to expect someone else to get you off.

yes, thats why its so disappointing i suppose. I can always make myself cum through masturbation, so me being nieve i thought sex'd be great when i did start having it.

Both of you talke a step back and start to explore each other withouit the expectations of sex, it will tune you into each other and also allow you to learn about yourselves and each other

when we're just fooling around i am pretty turned on but thats more to do with the anticipation than the actual touching, i'm turned on because i'm turning him on if that makes any sense? when it gets to the point when i realise we're going to have sex i just turn off again.

Reku

A large part of climaxing for women is feeling relaxed, perhaps you're too focused on climaxing and need to just let go and focus on the moment, see where it takes you?

Marksie

It strikes me that a large part of you simply relishes the expectations of your partners arousal rather than relishing your own as part and parcel of lovemaking.
Could it be that your negative experiences have caused a little switching off of your response.

Perhaps take a step back and examine at what point you stop feelinig this anticipation and why.
Farohar has made a good point about relaxing, is it possible that part of you is saying, perhaps even on a subcosncious level, "good my partner is aroused and nearly there, it will be over soon?". So that in effect you have the comfort of knowing that he is attracted enough to you to reach his climax but that you dont relax enough to enjoy it yourself?