Scared

Hooly22

To be honest, I'm not really sure why I'm posting here. I found out today my grandad has cancer, and i'm in bits. I know everyone says old people die and all that, but that doesn't make it any easier, I just can't stop crying. I'm incredibly close to him, and I'm so scared of losing him. I don't even know what I'm asking, but I can't bring myself to talk about it with anyone, it's not going to change anything.

Victor

Hooly22 wrote:

it's not going to change anything.

It may not change you granddad's life expectancy, but it might make it easier for you and your family and especially him.

Go talk to someone. Admitting your fears and speaking them out loud works wonders.

Schlemm

My Grandad had a cancer scare last year and it was a tough time. What I realised from it is that these things happen...people get sick and apart from drugs and medical treatment, there's not much else that you can do about that. It's how you deal with it that really makes the difference - I know that sounds really obvious but it's a fact that helps me get things into perspective sometimes.

Do consider talking to somebody about it...a problem shared is a problem halved and I'm sure that lots of people posting here will have had a similar experience and will have dealt with it in different ways. It feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders once you open up about tough feelings like these.

Hermione*

My mother died from cancer in April of this year, about 13 months after she was first diagnosed. It was and is a horrible experience, and my heart goes out to you. Please God, your grandfather will survive but either way, try to focus on what you can do to make things easier for him and try to spend as much time with him as you can.

Don't feel guilty either for feeling sad or crying. I sometimes feel as if I've done little else for the last six months, but it's important to recognise and acknowledge your emotons. Feel whatever you feel, not what you think you should feel. It's the things which we can do least to change which often upset us most, precisely because there's nothing we can do about it.

You and your grandfather are in my prayers. Try to be strong and you'll get through this. If you want to PM me about anything, feel free to do so -I'd be happy to help.

God bless and take care.

AngryBadger

I'm really sorry to hear that man, it's not a competition to see who lives longest, or who has less to fear, and this is a difficult time for you. Make the best of the time you have with your grandad. That's all you can do, and as difficult as it might be it's the most important thing right now.

Crumble Froo

damn,im really really sorry to hear that man, im really really close to my nana, and heh, my line is that 'she's never going to die, ever' and then glare at whoever might have even vaguely suggested it... i cant even imagine what id do if i was in your position.

talk it out, cry, let it out, if ye have a very good relationship, then spend time with him, tell him, just admit it, 'jebus gramps, this is scaring the ****t outta me'... it's probably scaring the crap outta him too. but everyone stepping around the elephant in the room isnt gonna be of any use. share your time, adn your feelings together, reminisce, build up the memories...

balls, im gettin all tearful now, just thinkin about it man... fcuck, i really do wish the best for you, hope anything ive said makes any sense/helps

*hugs*

Marksie

My dad died in april this year after a long illness.
A couple of things : Do talk to someone, try and find out the full facts for starters, and if you find you cannot talk to anyone who is close to you there are groups out there.
Look in the charter, it has numbers.

secondly, he is still with you. Go and see him. Enjoy the time you have with him now.
I managed to see my dad in the uk about two weeks before he went. It was part of the process of saying goodbye.

I really do suggest you do the same and spend time with him. He will appreciate it and so will you
best of luck op

Civilian_Target

All good things pass, and I'm sorry for you, but I know how you feel.
He's probably in a lot of pain, and I think the best way for both of you to get over it is to simply spend time with him, it'll ease his mind and yours. You don't even have to talk, especially if he's at the point where he's bed-ridden.

Best of luck

Red Alert

I lost my granny in March who I was incredibly close to. She was my best friend as well as my granny. She got sick just before Christmas, and hadn't been in great shape before that.

Her last few months were heartbreaking but at the same time were some of the happiest times I spent with her. We'd sit over in the hospital and read the paper and have a chat like normal.

I would say just relax and try and enjoy the next while with him. My last normal/meaningful conversation with gran was the sunday before she did, as she slept more or less for the following few days. I still look back fondly on that evening though

PM me if you want to talk or anything.