Conversations overheard on the bus.

Alanthroneus

thought this could be a bit of craic. basically just post conversations you heard on the bus that you though was weird or funnyor what ever.


ill start. i was on the 25a into town one day and we passed the big white bridge down the road form the voodoo lounge. there was the mandatory groups of skangers down the backof the bus and one of them points out the window and goes " alri chaps you see that bridge that lifts up to let the Stena Line through..."

the whole back end of the bus started to laugh at him... it was classic

_blank_

http://www.overheardindublin.com/

biko

http://overheardinireland.ie/

blah

A friend of mine told me she was on the bus in Whitehall (where apparently there were a lot of people around) when skanger child says to skanger mother "Why are dere so many people in towen?" mother says "Dis isn't towen! Dis is Whi'hall. Towen's in towen!"

0ubliette

A friend of mine overheard a skanger arguing with her fella, and the fem-skanger goes 'mark, yer a bleedin wanker 24 days of the year!'
24 days out of the year eh...not bad going

Shiva

Friend of mine told me she overheard a Skanger Mammy saying something to her young child, and the kid didnt hear or understand, and said "huh?"

The skanger mammy replied with a cuff around the ear and "Don't say huh?....say Wha'?"

mountainyman

There were 2 posh girls on the 15 bus behind me the other day (this serves middle class neighbourhoods on the southside of Dublin)
We went past an Ulster Bank.

Girl 1: That's ridiculous that should be Connaught Bank or wherever we are.
Girl 2: Ulster, Leinster, Munster Connaught. North, South, East, West. I know Northern Ireland is Ulster so we must be Munster. Dublin is East.
Girl 1: Is east left or right.
Girl 2: I do not know my right from my left.
Girl 1: Which hand do you bless yourself with.
Girl 2: Whichever hand feels closer to God.

Madness, Genius or Mental Retardation. You Be The Jury.

MM

Alanthroneus

lol

my mate told m one day that he was a bus in coolock and there was two chappies down the back talking

anyway one said somthen to the other and the other replyed with a" your wrong this is the right answer remark"

the first one obviously meaning touché replyed

"cliché

geuro

On the 46A bus from town to Dun Laoghaire..

The most sour faced miserable dwarf i've ever seen in my life got on to the bus, frowning and scowling and sighing and looking very stressed altogether. A 15 or 16 year old kid got up when he saw him, and offered his seat so the dwarf could sit down. I can understand why a dwarf might be slightly offended by this implicit insinuation that he was in need of a seat, but the young lad had only good intentions and was just trying to do the right thing. But the dwarf went bananas, started shouting at the young lad to sit down and 'i dont need your f****** seat' and so on. So that was that, after an awkward silence things got back to normal. Then about 10 minutes later an old lady who had been sitting across from the young lad pressed the bell and went to get off the bus. When the door opened she turned around to the dwarf and in a stern authoritative voice said "Snow white would be very ashamed of you" - and off she went. Pure class!

Acid_Violet

geuro wrote:

On the 46A bus from town to Dun Laoghaire..

The most sour faced miserable dwarf i've ever seen in my life got on to the bus, frowning and scowling and sighing and looking very stressed altogether. A 15 or 16 year old kid got up when he saw him, and offered his seat so the dwarf could sit down. I can understand why a dwarf might be slightly offended by this implicit insinuation that he was in need of a seat, but the young lad had only good intentions and was just trying to do the right thing. But the dwarf went bananas, started shouting at the young lad to sit down and 'i dont need your f****** seat' and so on. So that was that, after an awkward silence things got back to normal. Then about 10 minutes later an old lady who had been sitting across from the young lad pressed the bell and went to get off the bus. When the door opened she turned around to the dwarf and in a stern authoritative voice said "Snow white would be very ashamed of you" - and off she went. Pure class!

Have a similar story to that, on the 46a again that a friend told me.

A huge amount of people from my school get that bus everyday and a huge amount of them were on the top deck, twas packed as always. An old man got on the bus, started saying nasty grumpy things, giving out to a couple in my school for being a couple and started saying to some kid in third year to get a hair cut (he does indeed have very long, bushy hair.) Kept this up for a while, but just when the kid with bushy hair was getting off the bus, before he went down the stairs he turned to the old man and said 'I'm sorry that you have to live with yourself'. The whole bus erupted with laughter.

highlydebased

Once overheard an old lady, presumably with her daughter

Mother says "What was wrong with her anyway?"
Daughter :"Im not too sure, it wasnt piles anyway!"

Mr. CooL ICE

A mate of mine was getting the bus into town (town being Limerick city) when he overheard the following conversation of some guy shouting into his phone.

From what he could make out, a mutual friend of the guy on the phone and the guy on the other end went out for drinks some evening after work and got fairly hammered and went back to his car. Upon deciding that he was too drunk to drive, climbed into the back seat and fell asleep. He woke up in the middle of the night, thought to himself "ive had a decent sleep, ill be grand now", so hopped into the front and drove home, and went to bed.

He woke up the next morning to go to work, and went outside to discover that there was a massive wedge taken out of the car, as if it had crashed into something narrow. Shocked by this, and not able to remember what happened, started walking to the bus. Sure enough, a telephone pole down the road from him had been smashed into and was crooked at the base.

He couldn't make out what happened after that.

HammerHeadGym

A friend of mine in Neilstown heard a wee scummer yell to her siblings, 'Mark, Kylie-Diana, come in for yizzer dinner', where upon the mater familias appeared and adminstered a cuff round the ear with the justification, 'It's not yizzer, it's youzer'.

I hate Dublin.

OMcGovern

Last year, I was on the 25A and overheard two skangers from a FAS course talking about an incident on a bus.

Some guy, who was in their FAS course, was upstairs on a bus and starts messing with a cigarette lighter. A woman with long hair is sitting in front of him. He set fire to her hair, and it went up in flames pretty darn fast.
She smelt the burning and started screaming.
The bus stopped, and the bastard decided to drop out of the back window(upstairs), rather than try getting out downstairs.

Just to clarify, the skangers were only talking about this on the 25A... I didn't hear where it actually happened.

CantGetNoSleep

did he get out?

bronte

Not the bus but the Luas (don't kill me!)
On the way from abbey street to tallaght (The square) to meet my parents who were there doing the christmas shopping a coupla years ago.
I was sitting next to this woman, and her husband was seated opposite.
They had two young kids with them, a girl and a boy who were fairly hyper!
The father kept telling them to stop climbing, and sit down and behave etc.
After a while i got a rather unpleasant smell and knew instantly what it was.
I tried to hold in the giggles (I'm fairly giggly) and did my best effort to keep a straight face.
Then the little girl pipes up (in that loud voice they use)
"Mam did you FART???"
I nearly cracked up while the mother swatted the little one round the head with a newspaper and told her to "SHUT UP WOULDYA"!!

Gas altogether ( no pun intended)

Brian Capture

geuro wrote:

On the 46A bus from town to Dun Laoghaire..

The most sour faced miserable dwarf i've ever seen in my life got on to the bus, frowning and scowling and sighing and looking very stressed altogether. A 15 or 16 year old kid got up when he saw him, and offered his seat so the dwarf could sit down. I can understand why a dwarf might be slightly offended by this implicit insinuation that he was in need of a seat, but the young lad had only good intentions and was just trying to do the right thing. But the dwarf went bananas, started shouting at the young lad to sit down and 'i dont need your f****** seat' and so on. So that was that, after an awkward silence things got back to normal. Then about 10 minutes later an old lady who had been sitting across from the young lad pressed the bell and went to get off the bus. When the door opened she turned around to the dwarf and in a stern authoritative voice said "Snow white would be very ashamed of you" - and off she went. Pure class!

Good enough for the dwarf.

I hate dwarves and midgets.

Horrible, misshapen, ugly, grotesque and bitter people.

Lazare

I was on the Luas one time heading to Red Cow. There were two security guys on board and a voice came over their radio really loud...

'Come in John'
'Yeah, go ahead'
'John, can you see a glass eye anywhere?, a woman's on the phone, she dropped it somewhere'

the whole tram started laughing, your man replied.....

'What colour is it?'

User45701

Brian Capture wrote:

Good enough for the dwarf.

I hate dwarves and midgets.

Horrible, misshapen, ugly, grotesque and bitter people.

Ha!

what i find funny is the way people openly talk on phones and to oneanother on busses about drugini like who where when for what party and how much there getting,openly on the phone on a public bus

RainyDay

Brian Capture wrote:

Good enough for the dwarf.

I hate dwarves and midgets.

Horrible, misshapen, ugly, grotesque and bitter people.

Is it all people with disabilities that you hate or just people of short stature? Have you checked to ensure that all people of short stature are bitter? Is there a possibility that some of them are quite nice people really?

m83

Brian Capture wrote:

Good enough for the dwarf.

I hate dwarves and midgets.

Horrible, misshapen, ugly, grotesque and bitter people.

Mods, how the fcuk is this moron not banned?

mp3guy

RainyDay wrote:

Is it all people with disabilities that you hate or just people of short stature? Have you checked to ensure that all people of short stature are bitter? Is there a possibility that some of them are quite nice people really?

There's always one righteous so and so like you :rolleyes:

Lighten up.

Lump

m83 wrote:

Mods, how the fcuk is this moron not banned?

People are allowed the right to an opinion..... He said he hates Midgets, that's his opinion, I hate smelly people.

John

Brian Capture

RainyDay wrote:

Is it all people with disabilities that you hate or just people of short stature?

Just those of short stature. However I also resent people who don't have to pay when they get on the bus. Not pensioners but the ones who flash some sort of social welfare pass / card to the driver.

RainyDay wrote:

Have you checked to ensure that all people of short stature are bitter?

All of the ones I have encountered (over 500 at this stage) have been bitter. A fairly representative sample I think.

RainyDay wrote:

Is there a possibility that some of them are quite nice people really?

Unlikely.

Lazare

Lump wrote:

People are allowed the right to an opinion..... He said he hates Midgets, that's his opinion, I hate smelly people.

John

Your argument would have some merit if dwarves could shower themselves tall.

m83

Lump wrote:

People are allowed the right to an opinion..... He said he hates Midgets, that's his opinion, I hate smelly people.

John

To be honest i would have expected alot more from a mod. Do you hate black people too, or Jews? Because thats ok in After Hours, we welcome your type around here.

the_syco

m83 wrote:

To be honest i would have expected alot more from a mod. Do you hate black people too, or Jews? Because thats ok in After Hours, we welcome your type around here.

Shut the **** up. The lad said that he's entitled to his opionion. I don't like green crips. Are you going to label me a racist for not liking the green crisps?:eek:

Giblet

m83 wrote:

To be honest i would have expected alot more from a mod. Do you hate black people too, or Jews? Because thats ok in After Hours, we welcome your type around here.

Yeah because he MUST hate Black people and Jews with comments like that.

Lazare

the_syco wrote:

Shut the **** up. The lad said that he's entitled to his opionion. I don't like green crips. Are you going to label me a racist for not liking the green crisps?:eek:

since we're having fun with insults, your sig is the most geeky thing I've ever seen, lol.

Does your computer give you a tightness in the back of your trousers?

Brian Capture

m83 wrote:

Mods, how the fcuk is this moron not banned?

says the person who thinks it's acceptable to throw litter on the ground.

FunkZ

Lazare wrote:

since we're having fun with insults, your sig is the most geeky thing I've ever seen, lol.

Does your computer give you a tightness in the back of your trousers?

Holy ****!
This topic went way off! :rolleyes:

Demonique

Brian Capture wrote:

Just those of short stature. However I also resent people who don't have to pay when they get on the bus. Not pensioners but the ones who flash some sort of social welfare pass / card to the driver.

Why, do you have something against disabled people? Because the only people who are entitled to free social welfare travel passes are the elderly and people who are on disability allowance. And only people who can prove their disability prevents them from working (like this girl I know who has Asberger's Syndrome) are entitled to disability allowance

m83

fcuk all you kunts


boards.ie = teh suck

Giblet

Banned.

DonalN

so..ah...any more funny stories ??

Orange69

I worked with a guy who had asbergers.. It was pretty ****ed..

He invited us all out to his birthday party and being the polite Irish guy i accepted.. Of course everyone else bailed and it was just me, him and this other girl who he didnt really know either..

most awkward birthday party ever.. I actually considered jumping out the bathroom window..!

sam34

back on topic, altho this wasnt on a bus- i was waiting outside the post office and a skanger father was there with his daughter who was about 4 or 5. she was running around wild and after a few mins he shouted at her "britney get back over here" to which she replied "im not britney, im savannah". this was in tralee. good kerry names there!

Sofaspud

m83 wrote:

fcuk all you kunts


boards.ie = teh suck

Giblet wrote:

Banned.

Why? He was only expressing his opinion.

RainyDay

the_syco wrote:

Shut the **** up. The lad said that he's entitled to his opionion. I don't like green crips. Are you going to label me a racist for not liking the green crisps?:eek:

Lump wrote:

People are allowed the right to an opinion..... He said he hates Midgets, that's his opinion, I hate smelly people.

Just so I fully understand your positions, am I safe in assuming that you'd have no problem if he told us how he hated mongs, or spas, or crips (not crisps) or dummies - right?

Karoma

Sofaspud wrote:

Why? He was only expressing his opinion.

I'd have considered his post an opt-out. If you have any further questions - take them to Giblet or Feedback.

Get back on-topic.

Zaph

OK, back OT. I was on a bus a couple of years ago around the time Bewleys were closing their cafes and there was this pair sitting behind me.

Howya 1: Isn't it an awful shame how Bewleys is closin' down?
Howya 2: Yeah, it's a bit of Dublin history gone, I'm really gonna miss it.
Howya 1: Did you go there much?
howya 2: Ah Jaysus no, I never went there, it was too bleedin' dear.