Online p*rn addiction

LegacyUser

first time poster, long-time reader. ive got a problem. i find it hard to keep away from the old p*rn sites when I'm at work. i'm 34, successful in my career, good job and that but I find it really difficult to keep away from these sites and i feel it stops me from achieving my goals.

course, every time i visit these sites, i get sucked into a vortex of searching for images that can take up my time for over an hour. by this time, of course, i'm so heated up that I have to visit the bathroom (discreetly, of course).

this worries me, as sometimes I end up doing this 2-3 times a day. the sites aren't anything offensive or violent, just straight p*rn. it feels like an addiction. i wonder if it isn't to do with larger issues of procrastination.

i was in a relationship with a girl until about six months ago, but i was doing this at the time as well. we got along fairly well, but i just wasn't that into her and of course with my extra-curricular activity all wasn't well in the bedroom.

i've tried reading up on it, giving myself a kick in the ar*e, and so on. i know a few of ye will go 'just stop doing it you ar*e', but i've tried that.

anyone else have this problem? anyone have any advice? i know i'd be much better off without it!

Carrigart Exile

worrieddub wrote:

first time poster, long-time reader. ive got a problem. i find it hard to keep away from the old p*rn sites when I'm at work. i'm 34, successful in my career, good job and that but I find it really difficult to keep away from these sites and i feel it stops me from achieving my goals.

course, every time i visit these sites, i get sucked into a vortex of searching for images that can take up my time for over an hour. by this time, of course, i'm so heated up that I have to visit the bathroom (discreetly, of course).

this worries me, as sometimes I end up doing this 2-3 times a day. the sites aren't anything offensive or violent, just straight p*rn. it feels like an addiction. i wonder if it isn't to do with larger issues of procrastination.

i was in a relationship with a girl until about six months ago, but i was doing this at the time as well. we got along fairly well, but i just wasn't that into her and of course with my extra-curricular activity all wasn't well in the bedroom.

i've tried reading up on it, giving myself a kick in the ar*e, and so on. i know a few of ye will go 'just stop doing it you ar*e', but i've tried that.

anyone else have this problem? anyone have any advice? i know i'd be much better off without it!

Does your office have an IT policy, if so you are almost certainly in breach of it. Do you not have a PC at home where you can indulge your fantasies to your hearts content?

LegacyUser

U are aware that the sites U visit are logged !

Reku

Surely there are AA type groups for this as, considering the average e-mail the lads in my college class seemed to get, I imagine a lot of males would view a lot more porn than is healthy. They have a gaming addiction detox clinic in Holland, somewhere must have similar for porn addicition?

Are you actually viewing it in work? You say you have a hard time keeping away but you don't make it clear if you are successful in avoiding such sites in work. If not you'd best pay clear attention to your workplace's policy on computer usage, odds are it will be a sackable offense if you are caught.


... thinking on this... libido is sourced primarily from testosterone, so perhaps finding an alternative outlet for it would help, e.g. joining a sports club? At home there is the old trick of a cold shower, but in work I'm afraid I honestly can't think of any quick tricks to calm you down...




*in fact proof there are many porn-addicts out there and there are at least some groups trying to help them:
http://life.blogsome.com/2005/09/07/porn-addiction-overcoming-denial-guilt-shame/

jt_dublin

WorriedDub,

Have you considered hypnosis. There are some self-hypnosis sites where you can download audio files to listen to. Here's one. It might help.

http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/downloads/hypnotherapy/porn-addiction.html

I've used them for another issue and found it quite good.

rsynnott

unroggggie wrote:

U are aware that the sites U visit are logged !

Well, actually, in most smaller businesses, they're probably not.

hanni1234

I feel your pain brother. I reckon you should clean the pipes before you get to work!

biko

If your company does not have a gateway filter installed perhaps you can suggest one?

When they ask why explain it's proactive to stop people from downloading songs and other crap from the big bad internet. You never know if there is a virus or keylogger attached to something.

pwd

farohar wrote:

... thinking on this... libido is sourced primarily from testosterone, so perhaps finding an alternative outlet for it would help, e.g. joining a sports club? At home there is the old trick of a cold shower, but in work I'm afraid I honestly can't think of any quick tricks to calm you down...

well playing sports and so on raises your testosterone levels, and therefore raises your libido.

Outside of a relationship, the only problem is that you are wasting too much time on it, rather than the act itself. You are physically wired to want to cum so rather than resisting that and drawing it out just have a quick tug on yourself to release the tension before you go to work or whatever.

The fact that it seems to be stopping you being intimate with someone else is much greater cause for concern. Maybe linked to a discomfort at that level of exposure. Do you not fancy real-life girls at all, or was it just there was a lack of chemistry with the one you were actually meeting?

LegacyUser

OP, I've struggled with the same problem for awhile now.
I'm in a fulfilling relationship and have a very high "drive". I also work in a very high pressure environment which, in general, I enjoy but sometimes it can be too much. When this happens, I stress out and sometimes look at p*rn sites. I do it for the release that comes with the orgasm, the idea being that it will somehow unblock my mind and help me to think straight again. Invariably, it doesn't. I say to myself that I'll only do it for a minute or two to help me relax but it never stops at that. Yes, I do understand the consequences of not being able to control this and getting caught but somehow, they seem abstract and far away. I know that sounds ridiculous but that's the way it is.

It's hard to stop and to be honest, I think its something I'll struggle with for a long time to come but here are some tricks that I use to get over it (they don't always work for me and may not apply to you but maybe they'll be useful):

There's a particular time of day when I find that I'm most likely to give in to the urges - it's usually evening time. So I either make sure I'm not at my desk then or schedule meetings with other people or do something to distract myself from the urges.

Plan your work-day carefully so that there is no time for you to say "oh, i've nothing to do, i'll look at some sites for a minute..." Sometimes, of course, I find myself with a few minutes spare time to kill - what works for me is to physically leave my desk and go for a walk for a few minutes, just to clear my head of the urges. I usually find that when I get back, something else to do has cropped into my head so I start on that...

Keep a list of things that you think "oh, I must look that up". Then, when you get the urge to look at the dodgy sites, try looking those things up instead to distract yourself.

As some of the other posters have suggested, this problem is often the manifestation of a deeper rooted issue and perhaps that's something you need to identify. If you can figure out why you need to look at these websites, then maybe you can do something to tackle that.

It's not easy to stop, and sometimes I fail. The most important thing, I think, is to believe that you have the power to change this, that it's something you can control. If you look up the sites after making a real effort to stop, you have to ask "why did I do that?" and honestly answer that question. Then you have to do something to make sure that the same set of circumstances either don't happen again or happen in a way that you can manage so that you don't look up the websites again.

Anyone have any other advice on this?

Reku

pwd wrote:

well playing sports and so on raises your testosterone levels, and therefore raises your libido.

I thought it only caused a surge during the act of sport but reduction at other times?

"But what role does running play? If you were a male who wanted to increase your chances of fathering a female, could you put the odds in your favour by engaging in high-mileage training? After all, such exertions should lower testosterone levels, which in turn should banish males from your spouse's belly. "
From: http://www.runnersweb.com/running/news/rw_news_20050117_PPO_Testosterone.html

LegacyUser

thanks for all your replies, especially yours, SameProb. i play sports and keep fit, but i really think it may be an escape from the stresses of life and work. in reality, i should just have some decent hobbies and passions that keep my mind away from this. a bit of self-control goes a long way. interesting to see that this affects quite a few males, not just me!

neuro-praxis

There's a couple of guys in the US who run a project called xxxchurch.com that try to help people who feel they have a porn addiction that is affecting them.

They are Christians, as the name implies. They have developed a software too, free for download, that you set up with a friend who will hold you accountable. It might not be your cup of tea but it is worth a look.

If you automatically hate them based on the fact that they are Christians, you can pretty much join the club as most of the blinkered, bigoted Christian church itself hates them for associating with porn, porn addicts and porn stars.

pwd

farohar wrote:

I thought it only caused a surge during the act of sport but reduction at other times?

"But what role does running play? If you were a male who wanted to increase your chances of fathering a female, could you put the odds in your favour by engaging in high-mileage training? After all, such exertions should lower testosterone levels, which in turn should banish males from your spouse's belly. "
From: http://www.runnersweb.com/running/news/rw_news_20050117_PPO_Testosterone.html

Interesting. High intensity training does increase it though - especially weight training.

davmigil

farohar wrote:

I thought it only caused a surge during the act of sport but reduction at other times?

"But what role does running play? If you were a male who wanted to increase your chances of fathering a female, could you put the odds in your favour by engaging in high-mileage training? After all, such exertions should lower testosterone levels, which in turn should banish males from your spouse's belly. "
From: http://www.runnersweb.com/running/news/rw_news_20050117_PPO_Testosterone.html

As a medical professional that is hilarious test levels do not influence female or male formation.

Training such as heavy resistance training causes a surge in hormones post training however excesive training that overexerts and wears down the body in a bad way marathons etc will indeed cause test levels to crash low as well as having a negative influence on overall health.

LegacyUser

Look.

Yis have got to stop looking at those porn sites.
Looking at the porn sites - gives yis a mad horn and, then, yis have
to go 'to wax the bow'. Simple as.

It should be enough to spank that munkey twice a day :
before going to work and before going to sleep !!!!!

LegacyUser

'WorriedDub,
This is a major problem, although it does not get much coverage. I have struggled with this for a long time, and been successful for a while, only to fall again.

I suggest you go here
http://no-porn.com/test.html
and answer the questions. Its not a definitive test, but it will give you an idea of how bad your problem is.
I suggest you then join the support board that is linked from that page, and start to get a handle on this problem, before it gets completely out of hand.

Best wishes,

Let us know how you are doing.'

DublinWriter

OP, you may be suffering from something called 'Process Addiction'. It may not be the porn itself, but the hunting of the porn that you're addicted to.