Fighting Depression...

af_thefragile

So its almost a month and even though I hate to admit it, i've been quite depressed lately. Its really ****!! I'm not depressed all the times, its just at times, quite often its like this wave of depression that takes over me and I try to run away from it but it keeps coming back.

Well so just asking you guys for a lil advice on how to go abouts fighting depression. I've been finding life meaningless lately. I probably could even say my thoughts often wander around suicidal tendencies. Although I know I wont do it. I just feel it'ld be an easy escape from all this **** and I feel life would be much better when I'm gone... (life? paradox!! yay!!)

Anyway I really wanna get rid of this. I feel its holding me back from living my life and achieving my goals. I just end up wasting time in my room doing nothing while i could be improving on my guitar skills, write some songs, do something productive instead! So yeah i guess i know the root of my depression but theres not much i can seem do bout it...

I know my post is a lil vague, but yeah go on anyway!

StormWarrior

Start taking fish oil supplements. They're clinically proven to reduce and even completely eliminate depression symptoms, as depression is often caused by a lack of omega 3 fatty acids.

Thrill

Talking to someone helps. You should speak to your doctor. They are usually good listeners and he/she will probably recommend you see someone.

It's not good keeping things like this to yourself. No-one can help you if they don't know something is wrong.

niavie

maybe you should try counselling...

i felt like you do now after i split with my ex...its like your life revolves around them and then theyre gone... its a big lifestyle change and can leave you feeling a little lost... i tried counselling and i know it might seem a little drastic but its really helped me...id totally recommend it!

Esel

Any smoke in the mix there, OP? If so, cut it for a month and see how you feel then.

Victor

Try to keep busy - idle minds stray. If you find yourself havin serious negative thoughts, go talk to someone, preferably a professional.

af_thefragile

Most my friends have gotten sick of me moaning bout my break up n all.. so like i cant speak to em bout that anymore. They're just like "oh, just get over it! will ya!!"... If only it was that easy..

I might end up going to the counselor though... I really wanna get rid of all this ****!

Victor

Talk about something else then. Get your mind off her.

SouperComputer

Counsellor is a good idea. Can you pinpoint any particular reason for it? /edit duh, just read the rest.

If you find that you are sleeping more than normal, try break it up. Maybe try 4-5Hrs sleep and see if it helps. Do this as a once-off, then get back to your usual schedule.

af_thefragile

SouperComputer wrote:

Counsellor is a good idea. Can you pinpoint any particular reason for it?

If you find that you are sleeping more than normal, try break it up. Maybe try 4-5Hrs sleep and see if it helps. Do this as a once-off, then get back to your usual schedule.

Particular reason for??

And yes, i guess i am sleeping more than normal. I've been sleeping for like 12hrs everyday. Maybe i just find sleep as an escape from everything...

KyussBishop

Victor wrote:

Try to keep busy - idle minds stray. If you find yourself havin serious negative thoughts, go talk to someone, preferably a professional.

I highlight the part about negative thoughts because they are what you need to concentrate on:
Start recognizing your negative thoughts and rationalize them away, seeing how exaggerated such thoughts are helps you to get rid of them.

Easier said than done I know.

af_thefragile

I always keep trying to rationlize away all the bad things... but rationalizing feels like lying to myself and try to convince myself something that i actually dont believe....

Maybe i really need a consellor... I really need to end all of this!

BrianD3

Take up some form of strenuous exercise. Exercise can have a significant effect on depression as it produces "endorphins" which give a form of high. Ever hear of "runners high" or wonder why some people seem to be addicted to exercise? There you go.

I'd recommend martial arts or weight training. I do the latter, I was always prone to depression before but once I took up the weights I quickly noticed dramatic mental as well as physical benefits.

Call Me Jimmy

Well is the break up your biggest issue honestly? Do you think that she was the best there is out there and you lost her? Are there other underlying issues of insecurity, or feelings of insignificance? What do you feel is the single biggest thing that is stopping you from going out and having a great life?

Call Me Jimmy

BrianD3 wrote:

Take up some form of strenuous exercise. Exercise can have a significant effect on depression as it produces "endorphins" which give a form of high. Ever hear of "runners high" or wonder why some people seem to be addicted to exercise? There you go.

I'd recommend martial arts or weight training. I do the latter, I was always prone to depression before but once I took up the weights I quickly noticed dramatic mental as well as physical benefits.

While I think exercise is great advice and would help him greatly, I think there is possibly a step before this that he may need to take.

af_thefragile

I dont really know whether it was the break up, the loss, or the whole ego thing that hurt the most. She started going out with another guy the next day of the break up. I'm still not sure but she could have had cheated on me.
Well.. i dont know, i just sorta feel like a loser sitting here all depressed over her while she blew away everything we had in a day and has happily, uncaringly moved on with another guy...

She was a really nice girl though. I'ld hafta say that. She was like the perfect girl till the very last moment where she screwed it all up...

I think the whole excercise thing should help me. I was anyway planning on starting to go to the gym from tomorrow onwards...

sjaakie

it is very difficult, i know from experience, there is no set solution to this kind of thing, you need a combination of things:

sleep reguraly
eat properly
tell yourself everyday, a few times a day: get on with it ( whatever it is you want to do )
set yourself goals, little goals, if you achive them you feel a sense of proudness even it is something stupid like: get out of bed at this or that hour
tell yourself ( write it down ) good things about yourself
enhance your good things and work on your not so good things

and if nothing helps anymore: speak to your gp in all honestly
my gp prescribed me lexapro, a very mild anti deppresant and councelling
i did it for a while and a whole new good world opened up
i wont go in how anti depressants work, you can google that, but its interesting and makes sense.

good luck

Call Me Jimmy

af_thefragile wrote:

I dont really know whether it was the break up, the loss, or the whole ego thing that hurt the most. She started going out with another guy the next day of the break up. I'm still not sure but she could have had cheated on me.
Well.. i dont know, i just sorta feel like a loser sitting here all depressed over her while she blew away everything we had in a day and has happily, uncaringly moved on with another guy...

She was a really nice girl though. I'ld hafta say that. She was like the perfect girl till the very last moment where she screwed it all up...

I think the whole excercise thing should help me. I was anyway planning on starting to go to the gym from tomorrow onwards...

The way you describe it, it does sound pretty rough but the fact that you are planning on going to the gym is great and is the first step to moving on. As you are probably aware, it is all very psychological, I'm not trying to belittle your experience at all when I say this, but if you sincerely take the attitude that it is her loss it will help you a lot (easier said than done tho).

You now have the excitement of meeting new women, sure ye might have liked her but she is in the past now. As soon as ye realise that nearly all relationships start by chance and that you are just as likely to find another special girl now then ye'll be out of this bad patch yer going through.

shakenbake

Some good answers in this thread. I'm going to repeat some of them because they're bang on. Here's my milage.

1) Take up aerobic and anarobic exercise. If *only* I had have listened to people when they suggested this to me, I would have faired much better I believe. Healthy people are happy people in my experience. You will definitely notice a sustained improvement in your mood if you get a routine going and stick to it. It doesn't have to be boring either. Tried surfing? Man, it's exhilerating and seriously good exercise. You'll love it

2) Eat well and forget about alcohol and any other drugs for that matter. I was eating ecstasy left right and centre back when I was seriously depressed and you don't need me to tell you why that's bad! When you're out, drink Becks NA.

3) Doctors and Psychiatrists throw out SSRI's like they are skittles. It's the first thing they do. These things are not to be taken lightly in my opinion. I've tried two types and both made my depression worse. They also left residual side effects that have stayed with me years. You'll find many people who hate SSRI's when you're doing some research on them. They're not for everyone. Trying something like 5-HTP (or St John Wart - which I've never tried) that you can get in health food stores first is worth a try. Do some googling. If you decide not to go down the SSRI route, try asking for a Benzodizapine for the 'bad' days. You probably won't get these though as they are habit forming.

4) Find someone good you can talk to. Not all psychiatrists or councellers are equal. Some are good at their job, some aren't. Shop around and find one you can click with. If you have a good friend, you're sorted! BUT be careful about how much you talk your 'depression'. This in itself can get you down. For me it establishes a very impressioned mindset. You're *telling* yourself your depressed if you talk about it too much and at scheduled times.

5) Tried meditation? I do alot and it's great for quietening your 'chatty' mind. Personally I do Vipissanna but again, find one that's good for you. Give it a try, seriously. Several millions asian dudes can't be wrong

6) Try to culture value in yourself. Buy some new clothes, learn some new skills. Believe in yourself. Study body language ... monitor your posture. Try to cultivate confidence in yourself.


That's just my advice. I suffered from depression from age 15 to 25. Had a nervous breakdown once or twice inbetween, suicide attempt ... etc ..etc .. it's a typical story. These days????? I just laugh at depression. It will NEVER get a hold of me again. I've won. I've completly owned that mother ****er! I've never been more happy with my life ... I just roll with the punches and try to see the brightside of everything.

Good luck on your journey

af_thefragile

Well done shakenbake at getting over yer depression.

I really dont wanna go down the medication route to cute my depression. I'ld like to fight it mentally than supress it with drugs. I've also herd they've got some bad side effects and i wouldnt like drugs to control my life. I dont like getting addicted to anything, one reason i dont smoke, drink or do drugs...

That was some good advice there. I'll try speaking to my coll counselor. My college has a counselling service and they pay for the first 10 visits to the counselor. I'll give that a shot probably sometime next week.

And i'll start exercising too. That should keep me occupied and keep my mind from battling over my ex. It should also get me in good shape and as you said healthy people are happy people!!

Hopefully i should be fine soon and i hope the counsellor helps me. Thanks for all that advice guys. It really helped me!

delta_bravo

Get a job. Focus on work and not depression

barrett1965

I've been finding life meaningless lately.

I believe this is the crux of your problem.

Marksie

H OP: there are resources in the charter for starters.

But if i pick it up rightly there is probably a specific reason for this vis-a-vis your breakup, which may well be exacerbating things.

If you keep looking for ways around it, eventually you will find one. But keeping "out of your own head" as regards the ex would be a damn good start.

Good luck with it

Oryx

Youve already had really good advice here, I just have two small points.

Depression is self perpetuating sometimes. You sleep and sit about cos your fed up, then youre fed up because you sit around. Getting out and active will help get you out of this rut, even if at first you may not want to.

Stop beating yourself up and feeling guilty. In my experience guilt makes depression worse. If you sit around doing nothing well, ok, so you did, maybe you needed to. Vow to change, but dont waste time feeling guilty about it.

Victor

af_thefragile wrote:

I really dont wanna go down the medication route to cute my depression. I'ld like to fight it mentally than supress it with drugs. I've also herd they've got some bad side effects and i wouldnt like drugs to control my life. I dont like getting addicted to anything, one reason i dont smoke, drink or do drugs...

Sometimes, we need to recognise that we are ill and need help. Would you refuse painkillers on principle if you had a broken leg?

But try the counselling and see where that goes.

shakenbake wrote:

3) Doctors and Psychiatrists throw out SSRI's like they are skittles. It's the first thing they do. These things are not to be taken lightly in my opinion. I've tried two types and both made my depression worse. They also left residual side effects that have stayed with me years. You'll find many people who hate SSRI's when you're doing some research on them. They're not for everyone. Trying something like 5-HTP (or St John Wart - which I've never tried) that you can get in health food stores first is worth a try. Do some googling. If you decide not to go down the SSRI route, try asking for a Benzodizapine for the 'bad' days. You probably won't get these though as they are habit forming.

Just because something is 'natural' does not make it suitable or safe.

yermandan

shakenbake wrote:

Some good answers in this thread. I'm going to repeat some of them because they're bang on. Here's my milage.

1) Take up aerobic and anarobic exercise. If *only* I had have listened to people when they suggested this to me, I would have faired much better I believe. Healthy people are happy people in my experience. You will definitely notice a sustained improvement in your mood if you get a routine going and stick to it. It doesn't have to be boring either. Tried surfing? Man, it's exhilerating and seriously good exercise. You'll love it

2) Eat well and forget about alcohol and any other drugs for that matter. I was eating ecstasy left right and centre back when I was seriously depressed and you don't need me to tell you why that's bad! When you're out, drink Becks NA.

3) Doctors and Psychiatrists throw out SSRI's like they are skittles. It's the first thing they do. These things are not to be taken lightly in my opinion. I've tried two types and both made my depression worse. They also left residual side effects that have stayed with me years. You'll find many people who hate SSRI's when you're doing some research on them. They're not for everyone. Trying something like 5-HTP (or St John Wart - which I've never tried) that you can get in health food stores first is worth a try. Do some googling. If you decide not to go down the SSRI route, try asking for a Benzodizapine for the 'bad' days. You probably won't get these though as they are habit forming.

4) Find someone good you can talk to. Not all psychiatrists or councellers are equal. Some are good at their job, some aren't. Shop around and find one you can click with. If you have a good friend, you're sorted! BUT be careful about how much you talk your 'depression'. This in itself can get you down. For me it establishes a very impressioned mindset. You're *telling* yourself your depressed if you talk about it too much and at scheduled times.

5) Tried meditation? I do alot and it's great for quietening your 'chatty' mind. Personally I do Vipissanna but again, find one that's good for you. Give it a try, seriously. Several millions asian dudes can't be wrong

6) Try to culture value in yourself. Buy some new clothes, learn some new skills. Believe in yourself. Study body language ... monitor your posture. Try to cultivate confidence in yourself.


That's just my advice. I suffered from depression from age 15 to 25. Had a nervous breakdown once or twice inbetween, suicide attempt ... etc ..etc .. it's a typical story. These days????? I just laugh at depression. It will NEVER get a hold of me again. I've won. I've completly owned that mother ****er! I've never been more happy with my life ... I just roll with the punches and try to see the brightside of everything.

Good luck on your journey

That is some of the best advice i've ever read here and there is a very high standard as it is. I have also suffered from depression and continue to but I am going to take all of this advice and put it into practice asap. OP i sent you a PM. Feel free to get back to me if you need someone to communicate with.

Cheers

Dan

jkforde

I'm prone to what Tommy Tiernan refers to "The World is F@!ked, The World is F@!ked" syndrome on a regular basis. What sorts me out is a long walk in the hills, bothrins, outback and I just watch and listen to the natural world (no iPods, radio etc etc.). This might come across as a tree-hugging, ostrich solution but a few hours in a natural setting without modern distractions is great place for clear thinking and just general well being. If this is coupled with a good hard work out (hill walking) then all the better for the endorphins. So get out, walk the land, take very deep breaths (I mean it) and sit and listen and watch.

DO NOT RESORT TO DRUGS! IT'S A MUG'S GAME.

DublinWriter

thrill wrote:

Talking to someone helps. You should speak to your doctor. They are usually good listeners and he/she will probably recommend you see someone.

If you go to the average GP and say you're feeling depressed, you'll be on SSRIs by the end of the day. They hand them out like Smarties and it's equivalent to the situation with the way Quaaludes and Tranquilisers used to be RX'ed by GPs in Ireland and the UK in 60's/70's.

SSRIs are a serious deal, but they are made out to be as harmless as 'Rescue Remedy'. In my previous life I worked for several of the biggest pharma companies in Europe and the downsides of going on/off them are always underplayed.

Until very recently most GPs were totally uneducated by the pharmas on the initial side effects of such drugs. It can be an horrific experience if you're not warned about it.

Secondly, on counsellors. The response I hear to every second topic posted on here is 'go see a counsellor'. The problem with counsellors in this country is that they are totally unaccredited with no professional standards body enforcing professional codes of conduct.

To become a lawyer, medical doctor, GP or a Dentist you have to pass a prescribed set of examinations. If you don't live up to the standards set by the professional body of which you are a member then you get struck off.

I could go down to my local key-cutters, get a sign made, and could set myself up as a counsellor by tomorrow morning.

‘Depression’ is a great catch-all phrase used to describe all feelings of unhappiness and malaise these days. Some of the symptoms of Clinical and Manic Depression can even include having a runny nose. These are serious medical conditions.

The problem is most people who find themselves in situations in their lives that aren’t the happiest confuse a transitory state of generally feeling down/blue about their circumstances with having a serious mental illness.

The trouble is that most GPs do the same.

shakenbake

Dan, thanks for the kind words!

Reku

Feeling down for a month after a break up is not what I would call depression, it's just post break-up blues IMO.

People will usually go through this when a relationship they thought was going somewhere falls apart; the whole asking why, was it something I did/didn't do, did they ever really love me, etc....
She decided to break-up and go date someone else (I wouldn't worry, he's probably just a rebound - a meaningless fling which has no future) and this has you thinking that there's something wrong with you when you probably just weren't as well matched as you'd thought, and being in love had blinded you to that. I'd say you should try hang out with friends, let the fact that they enjoy your company remind you that there are those who do, and others who will, i.e. she broke up with you but it's her loss.
If taking up a new hobby will help get your mind off it go for it, afterall you'll probably meet many new people there who'll enjoy your company.
If nothing else don't leave these feelings to fester, it'll only be harder to drag yourself out of this rut the longer you leave it.

af_thefragile

Thanks all you guys for those tips and opinions...
They sorta did help me a good bit...
Although there's one thing thats screwing up my mind completely and its i just cant stop thinking bout my ex!! I just cant!! Every damn moment its just her on my mind. Its bout trying to get over her, how should i get over her? will i ever get over her? or just her!
My mind is completely tired rationalizing and its just tired. I want her out of my head but she refuses to leave! This is really driving me insane!! I really really cant survive for long with these thoughts constantly festering my mind.

Looking for a last piece of advise.. How the hell am i supposed to stop these thoughts of my past from constantly infesting my head??!! No matter where i am, what i'm doing.. its just these thoughts leeched onto my mind that refuse to let go!

ali.c

right this might be a bit wacky, but when you are learning to meditate there are techniques to turn of thinking so to speak. Everytime you find yourself thinking about your ex, stop the thought. You can mentally say out or thinking or whatever, basically catch the thought in whatever stage you notice it, acknownlegde and let it go. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Its very easy to let you mind suck you into your thoughts, something reminds you of her say and your mind spirals out of control. Dont feed the thoughts just let them go. Does that make sense? it does work but it does take a while.

Marksie

ali.c wrote:

right this might be a bit wacky, but when you are learning to meditate there are techniques to turn of thinking so to speak. Everytime you find yourself thinking about your ex, stop the thought. You can mentally say out or thinking or whatever, basically catch the thought in whatever stage you notice it, acknownlegde and let it go. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Its very easy to let you mind suck you into your thoughts, something reminds you of her say and your mind spirals out of control. Dont feed the thoughts just let them go. Does that make sense? it does work but it does take a while.

Not that wacky. I use meditation all the time and you can tune out thoughts.. acknowledge them and let them pass. I do have a book whihc details meditations for "letting go" which is what you need now OP.

So OP, if you dont like the idea of meditation, try the latter part, if a thought occurs, acknowledge it and let it go through the head, don't let its sit there