ridiculous problem

LegacyUser

Does anyone have any surefire ways of getting over quite an intense 'crush'? I am completely smitten with my boss. I know nothing will ever happen as he has a long-term girlfriend, but as we work in a one-room office and I like my job and have no intention of leaving, I need to get over this quick-smart. I don't enjoy coming to work anymore, it is becoming too stressful! If he doesn't come in, I'm down for the day. When he mentions his girlfiriend, I want to throw things.
I feel so stupid, way too old for this sort of malarkey. So, any advice for getting someone completely out of your mind?

biko

There's the classic "get under someone else"...

jellie

i think its pretty impossible to get someone out of your mind if you see them & are in close contact with them every day.

other than finding someone else to think about, ive no idea what you could do if you dont want to leave your job. but then again if its just a crush it shouldnt be worth leaving your job over.

misterq

is it a small company?
Sounds like it might be if you are in the same room.

While it might be extreme to consider leaving your job over a crush, bear in mind one of two things needs to happen in order for you to get over it:
- you get a new fella to have a crush on
- you get a new job so you aren't tormented

Either one will make your life a lot easier.

Jobs, like men, are replaceable!

Life isn't, so don't spend too long in misery!

admiralofthefleet

what do enjoy doing as a pastime? do it. do everything you can to get it out of you're head, because as you said yourself it will go nowhere. it might be extremely difficult but try to put the emotions for you're boss out of you're head and look for someone that wont complicate your job

Jesus Wept

Picture him taking a really messy dump.

Picture this everytime you see him if need be, should help.

carnival_joe

ride it out, they go away. eventually.

Zillah

carnival_joe wrote:

ride it out, they go away. eventually.

If she's working with him day in day out then its quite possible it will never go away and will actually get worse and worse.

OP, unless you find someone else or stop spending time with him I suspect its not going to go away. Unless he's does something incredibly bad to make him no longer attractive you're unlikely to suddenly decide you don't like him any more.

The Sweeper

OP I'd be of the opinion it'll probably pass - give it a few weeks and mind your ps and qs in the meantime.

Wibbs

I agree with Minesajackdaniels. It'll pass if you let it.

theTinker

As callous as it sounds, i've always found sleeping with some other girls a great way of getting over people. It tends to stop you thinking that they are special, the one, all that gick. The first time sometimes feels lousy but your usually more level headed after it anyways and that was the goal.

Of course, do the usual stuff like find things you dont like about the person.
The next time you catch yourself idolizing them over something, snap yourself out of it and think of something bad, it becomes habit after a while.
distract yourself when your thinking about them every time no matter how often it happens, and dont let your sit around thinking about them "just this once".
but sleeping with other people, meeting new people, and having an active social life will definitely help.

Oryx

Well you know its ridiculous and you know its a crush, so your halfway there. Youre still dealing with real feelings tho, so you have to find a way to counter them. Every time you recognise its happening (as in wanting to throw things) remind yourself that you are really being ridiculous. Deal with yourself in the same way you would a close friend who this was happening to. Mentally tell yourself what youd tell them. More than anything else, keep reminding yourself that he is not yours, you cannot have him. But that you are lucky to have his company as a friend and colleague.

This man doesnt reciprocate your feelings, and pursuing him would be daft. The best way would be to find someone else to focus your lust on.;)

LegacyUser

'great advice, thanks. It is a small company so there is no escape really and though I hope it will pass, I don't see it happening anytime soon. It has been going on for quite a while now. Still, I like the idea of talking to myself as I would a friend in the same situation, will def give that a try. As for getting under someone else....well, I'll see what I can do!'