Awkward situation!

LegacyUser

I’m not able to post on the other sex forum but it’s a pretty personal situation related with having sex with my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for a couple of months and decided to have sex, neither of us are virgins but wanted to take things slowly. Basically we were getting down to it and I would have never considered myself big but it was impossible to get in inside and when I did it was sore for her, regardless of how relaxed or wet she was. Very akward for her and fustrating. Now I know she hasn’t had sex in over a year but I think the problem might be that I’m too big granted it does wonders for my ego but I’m curious if anyone has any solutions or help it’d be appreciated

BoozyBabe

Well, considering a baby can fit through there, I doubt it's that you are too big, no offence!!

I think your gf is just not relaxed enough, even though she says she is.

If it's you first time having sex together & you've let the sexual tension build up for quite a while, it's a really big issue for her!
She's excited & nervous & wants it to be perfect etc, etc.....
This means she's not relaxed.

Did ye use lots of lube?
Not exactly romantic, i know, but it'll stop it from hurting her.

pwd

employ some cunning linguists

Marksie

23yooldfella wrote:

I think the problem might be that I’m too big granted it does wonders for my ego but I’m curious if anyone has any solutions or help it’d be appreciated

Yes forget about your P*nis and ego entirely for the moment.

So, it was impossible to get your p*nis inside her without it hurting. But you went and did it anyways. Not surprised it was sore.

Somewhat selfish, yes?

Did you ever consider that there are many other and better ways of pleasuring than penetration?

Or was it a case of i have to get what i want regardless.?

If i had done to a female partner what you had done, i would be out the door.

So, next time, l;eave your ego at the bedroom door and eactually take time to fully pleasure your partner.

Ps: you have to subscribe to view the S+S forum

Mr. Incognito

and eactually take time to fully pleasure your partner.

That typo has the answer

Marksie

SetantaL wrote:

That typo has the answer

Oh lol.. juts saw that, freudian slip. Well its an answer but there are limitless possibilities.

Craft25

theres no need to assume anyone forced themselves on any body else...many guys can be too big for their parters and you may just have to work through it slowly..the most important thing is honest communication...the chances that you will always feel too big for her are quite slim...although some girls are haunted by a condition where they keep tensing up and it can destroy their relationships...this would be much more common than someone actually being physically too big.

If this turns out to be the case you need to tread carefully, and possibly need to seek a doctor/counsellor's help..she will not want it to carry on throughout her life!

The fact that she felt pain doesn't mean she didnt want to do it!! These are the things that if you can work through together will only bring yous closer together.

Marksie

Craft25 wrote:

theres no need to assume anyone forced themselves on any body else.

no such assumption made.

We are talking about continuing when someone is in discomfort. Whether they want to do it or not is immaterial.

Be clear about that

Craft25

Marksie wrote:

We are talking about continuing when someone is in discomfort. Whether they want to do it or not is immaterial.

perhaps she wants to continue through her discomfort.. if it's an ongoing problem she will want to get past the pain to the pleasure... if theres good communication he can be assured he's not overstepping any lines

py2006

Marksie wrote:

Or was it a case of i have to get what i want regardless.?
If i had done to a female partner what you had done, i would be out the door.
So, next time, l;eave your ego at the bedroom door and eactually take time to fully pleasure your partner.

That was a bit harsh! This wasn't suggested at all in his post! I don't know where you are getting this from. Completely unfair comment and not warranted.
All he was asking for was advice on how to get over this problem so that he doesn't hurt his gf.

biko

You can try lying on your back with her straddling/sitting on top. This way she will be more open and can go at her own pace.

spinandscribble

marksie no offence man, but its not like he raped her. i can tell you as a girl sometimes i go through with painful sex as a way to loosen it up if im in the mood but unusually tight.
it IS her choice. personally i'd be pissed off if my bf refused even though we both wanted it because of a bit of pain which i'd assume would stop a few minutes in.

does she consider you bigger then her ex?

try to make more space by using more fingers in foreplay. maybe get a dildo and another a size up until shes prepared to take you.
definately put her on top in the mean time

humbert

Marksie wrote:

no such assumption made.

We are talking about continuing when someone is in discomfort. Whether they want to do it or not is immaterial.

Be clear about that

I'd say it's her body, she can gauge the situation best and once you make it completely clear that she's under no pressure I'd say it's her choice.

Such an aggressive response really isn't warranted.

togster

Granted Marksies comment was a bit extreme but isn't it funny when a mod makes a mistake everyone leaps down their throat...
OP take time to get your girlfriend wet and relax it will all happen in its own good time.

Marksie

Togster: Mistake? no, Direct? yes. As for the second part, well C'est la vie.

OK Now, Keep it on topic people.

If you want to query my post feel free to PM but give the advice to the OP.

togster

Marksie wrote:

If you want to query my post feel free to PM but give the advice to the OP.

Helpful advice is whats needed....
Said it in my previous post but...
Just relax and everything will slide into place.