Advice on leaving job

LegacyUser

I made the big mistake of moving to the UK to follow my career a few months back. Im over here earning big bucks but im miserable.
I actually posted on here asking for advice on whether or not i should go!

So I decided I would move over to the UK from Ireland, leaving my friends, family, pets and most importantly my girlfriend of 4 years (she wouldn’t come with me!).

I moved here and worked away at it for the last 3months. Since day 1 I have hated it but I have stuck at it hoping it would get better. It hasn’t, its actually got worse each week.

The 2 lads I live with are a good laugh, but I have almost no life outside of work. We never go out (and when we do tis always a terrible night) all we do is sit in and watch the X-files and crap like that. I tried joining a the gym and other things to meet people but i just dont like the english people at all. I actually cant stand most of the ones I know.
So at the weekends we'd maybe get a 6 pack of cans at the weekend. Whereas my life in Ireland was completely different. I went and played football during the week with mates, did loads of fun stuff with the girlfriend, went clubbing at weekends with all my friends etc and I miss it. I’m not going to lie

I now just want to go home, get a half decent job that will pay me enough to have fun and not be broke, but I don’t feel I can. I’d be letting everyone down at work (even though the training has been non existent and I’ve been left sitting here most days with nothing to do), the lads in the house who sorted the job out for me and everyone else. My parents also want me to stick at it cos its such a good opportunity and the money is so good. But I just cant. I just want my life of earning a decent wage, being with my GF and having fun back. I am only 23 as welL, so don’t really need all that money as ive no kids or mortgages or anything!

But how do get through it? How do can I let my parents down by coming home? My girlfriend wants me back asap. I want to get back. But I cant go back without a job.
Im actually feeling physically sick sitting here on a Sunday night with the thought of another horrible week ahead of me. I cant go on like this, but i feel so trapped.

I also don’t think I enjoy the actual field of work I’m in, but I don’t want to change it as I spent 4 years in college working really hard towards it.

I know i should go home, but im not a quitter and tend to succed in everything I do. THis is why it is even more difficult. But i will go mental if i stay here anymore, im already an emotional wreck.

Any advice?

Chinafoot

What needs to come first is your personal happiness. Stop thinking about everyone else. You're not happy where you are and you'll be letting yourself down by staying where you are. Forget about everyone else and think about yourself.

Go home if its where you want to be.

Pete67

Life is too short - you've tried it for three months, it's not for you. The biggest step is to make a decision to move home, and it sounds like you are nearly there. Once the decision is made, the rest falls into place. Don't do anything rash, give yourself a timeframe to find a suitable job back home, get busy online, buy the Irish papers etc, and spend some of that money you are earning on weekend flights home to catch up with gf, family and friends, and maybe do an odd interview.

By planning it out properly, and having something lined up to move back to, you are not 'letting anyone down' rather you are showing them that you are mature enough to evaluate your life and the direction it is going, and take action to improve it if necessary. Best of luck with it.

Shanda

I have recently left a job i was in for a year in which I was very unhappy. I have since moved home and im feeling much happier and more like myself again. I know its nice to have a bit of spare money, but lets face it nobody ever has enough money, we always want more. I feel its not worth loosing your happiness over, all you need is enough to be comfortable and and get by. I moved home without a job but saved up before I left to leave me with enough for the next month or so.
You wont be letting ur parents down. I know everyone say's it but all parents want is for their kids to be happy and they'll probably be delighted to have you close to home again. obviously your girlfriend will be too.
Don't worry about the people at work. I felt the same guilt about leaving my job, but at the end of the day, its only a job. you should be happy in your place of work but be able to leave it behind at the end of the work day and get on with your life. I find that if your unhappy in your job it effects every other area in your life including your relationships with people because your just not yourself.
You gotta do what makes you happy in life no matter what anyone else thinks. good luck with what ever decision you make.

BaZmO*

If you're earning so much and it's such a fantastic opportunity why can't you head home at the weekends or pay for your girlfriend to come over? It's not as if you're living in Australia, it's only England!!!

The Sweeper

iwanttogohome wrote:

I tried joining a the gym and other things to meet people but i just dont like the english people at all. I actually cant stand most of the ones I know.

...Any advice?

Go home.

I'm going to be blunt here - you've decided you hated your job from day one, and now you've decided you don't like an entire nation of people based on the few you know - and from your own admission those are people you work with (and in fairness there'll always be people you work with who you don't like) and a couple of people you met in a gym.

You will never find happiness when you're approaching your situation with the attitude that you don't like "English people", had a far better life at home and hate your job.

If you feel like the outsider then you'll act like the outsider and be treated like the outsider, which is what I'd bet is happening to you. That'd explain a lot of why they leave you sitting there all day with nothing to do in work. Have you started pestering them for something to do? Have you tried to get people to go for a drink after work?

One of the biggest problems I have when I travel, and which I have to get over, is I hate opening my mouth for the first time. I know when I do my accent will mark me as 'foreign' straight away. However, it's the manner that goes with the accent that makes a difference.

I make no apology for my Irish accent or my somewhat stage-Oirish pale skin, freckles and curly hair. I treat people who go "Irish! Do you like potatoes?" with the scorn they deserve, but usually by responding with some flash-fire riposte relating to their race, as opposed to becoming sullen and withdrawn.

Yes, when you emigrate, of COURSE you leave behind your family and your friends and your pets and possibly your partner. But again it's a matter of attitude - if you spend the whole time going "the people I know and love AREN'T HERE, BOOHOOHOO" you'll get nowhere.

And as for being just 23 and having no mortgage and no kids etc. and just wanting some fun - dear Jesus, I'm in my thirties and if I could take back all the times in my early twenties that I didn't grab an opportunity with both hands because of some shiftless boyfriend (none of whom I still know these days) or some random idea of fun, I'd be a damn sight more successful than I am now.

At the moment, I'm in Australia. I've been here 10 weeks so far. I'm in the arsehole of nowhere in rural outback land in a traditional Catholic community. The locals are just non-runners in terms of close personal pals. I'm a one-hour commute from anywhere that I could meet other, more like-minded people and I can think of at least three good reasons straight up to give up and go back to Western Europe.

But I won't. I spent a bloody fortune getting here. I know my current annoyance is pretty short-term and eventually my situation will change and my life will get better. I'm like a bloody limpet on a rock at this point, clinging on here and saying every day to myself "I won't give in I won't give in I won't give in" - because if I were to go back to England or Ireland now, I'd just face all the same crap that presented itself as reasons why I should leave in the first place.

The most important lesson about emigration is simple - you're on your own and the only person who can give you a kick up the arse is you. Either get busy with your new life, or get busy preparing to go home.

LegacyUser

I remember this thread from ages ago and I gave you the same advice then, if your girlfriend liked u enough, she would follow...

u go through the thick and thin together and here you are in the thick of it all and she is at home begging you to come home, if she liked u enough, she would be over there with you now supporting you telling you it is going to be fine...and encouraging you...

but no, she is at home on her arse and you are getting homesick...I wouldn't put much faith in that partner...and i believe this is reflecting on you deep down and causing such a negative outlook on your current life.

Go home if you must, but upgrade the girlfriend.

Miss Fluff

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

At the moment, I'm in Australia. I've been here 10 weeks so far. I'm in the arsehole of nowhere in rural outback land in a traditional Catholic community. The locals are just non-runners in terms of close personal pals. I'm a one-hour commute from anywhere that I could meet other, more like-minded people and I can think of at least three good reasons straight up to give up and go back to Western Europe.

But I won't. I spent a bloody fortune getting here. I know my current annoyance is pretty short-term and eventually my situation will change and my life will get better. I'm like a bloody limpet on a rock at this point, clinging on here and saying every day to myself "I won't give in I won't give in I won't give in" - because if I were to go back to England or Ireland now, I'd just face all the same crap that presented itself as reasons why I should leave in the first place.

The most important lesson about emigration is simple - you're on your own and the only person who can give you a kick up the arse is you. Either get busy with your new life, or get busy preparing to go home.

Great post MJD, one HAS to step out of one's comfort zone from time to time. It's like getting life by the scruff of the neck and giving it a massive kick up the arse. I've moved to China on my own, in my third week here, don't speak Chinese and I might as well have been parachuted onto Saturn but I am DETERMINED to give it my all and enjoy this opportunity.

OP, make the choice now. Go back to your nice safe cosy life in Ireland, or change you attitude sharpish (I'm CERTAIN you give off the vibe of hating an entire nation of people) and give it another go.

Carrigart Exile

OP I work for an organisation that operates throughout the world and what you are experiencing is very typical. Usually our new people when they first move out enjoy (its a bit like a holiday) then they go through the same homesick, hating it emotions as you. By the end of 12 months, however, they have made friends, got used to the lifestyle and we usually cannot get them to come back home.

Have you thought about trying to start a 5 or 7 a side footy game yourself, advertise in your work for anyone interested?

Marksie

OP: i did the reverse, gave up nice secure UK job, flat and all to move here at age 33. Ten years older than you.

There is always a settling in period when you realise that visiting a place and living there full time are two different things.

OK: sometimes i found attitudes frustrating, but it would have been wrong of me to label everyone with tags just because a few told me to get out because I was a "foreigner" or that i was taking their jobs and their women and did I have a visa?

Yes, it did hurt at the time, but come to the realisation that they are saying that because they have a problem and you will change that way. Also come to realise that the way you react is your issue always helps as well.

If you ahve decided you don't like it, don't like your job and don't like your career. Then sit and think about exactly WHAT you want to do. At your age, or any age really, there are no closed paths, something always opens to allow you to ptrogress. The only roadblock to that is yourself and your attitude.

LegacyUser

I have applied for a few jobs etc already. I think I won’t have much trouble finding a new job tbh, I have never gone for an interview and not got the job (to date). I am also considering going into a different career field anyway so that’s a lot more jobs I could apply. I was thinking of doing office temp work while applying for jobs to tie me over, as I said I have a nice bit of sterling saved up so I won’t be short of cash. I would actually welcome a summer break after the stress of the last few months, so wouldn’t mind a bit of time of as I apply for jobs.

I have to give 2 months notice, but I think they may let me go before that if I ask. If not I’ll give my notice straight away and spend the 2months working really hard finding a job back home. But tbh I don’t think there’s a chance in hell I could stay over here for 2 more months without cracking up. I think I’d just take a couple of weeks unpaid leave in the middle of it to preventing me going mad.

The stress it’s putting on my girlfriend to is totally unfair, most nights when were on the phone she breaks down into tears as she’s missing me so much. Its truly horrible, she isn’t coping well with it at all.

This is by far the worst decision I have ever made. People say you only regret the things and chances you don’t take, we’ll I took the chance on this and I regret it more than anything.

I hate it so much over here that this morning on the way to work I was actually on the verge of tears. My boss returns to work next week and I’m going to say it to him then, but if he lets me give a months notice I will take it and get home asap before I go crazy.

The Sweeper

OP, I have a question for you - I gotta ask it, and I don't mean to be sharp with you by asking.

But seriously, what were you expecting when you moved?

BaZmO*

OP, are you actually reading the replies and questions? Or are you just having a rant?

LegacyUser

I dont know what I was expecting tbh.
I suppose it was the job to live up to its potential, settle down nice and easy and make some new friends and enjoy this new adventure. I suppose though I only ever planned to come over for 6months max for the experience.

Everyone says give it time but 3months is a lot of time to give when your hating every minute. I suppose i never realised what i had back home until I came over here.

And i have really tried despite what people say. i went out with one of the lads in the office the same age as me (the only person in the office my age) and a group of his mates. That was a terrible night and one of his mates ended up in a brawl outside the club and got arrested. I said this might be a one of, so then i went and played a 5 a side match with them and nearly had my legs broke on a couple of occasions. Never at any stage did I give out the vibe that I dont like English people, thats only a recent conclusion. And its not only a few people, my job involves dealing with the public and my God i have enver met a nation who moan like the English. I did the same job back home as part of work placement and it wasnt as ridiculus as this. Every time the phone rings I cringe at what there going to moan at now. Most nightclubs I have gone to, i find it difficult to have a laugh with the people in them, unlike back in Ireland.

As i said i am not a quitter, hence me staying here this long (so far).

Re my GF, she has a really good job back home that she loves, loads of friends and family and would never dream of moving over here. So why should she sacrifice all that? She would move over here jobless and friendless away from the environment she loves.

I don't know, I always said i would come over and try it out with no pressure on myself if it didnt work out. Now that it hasnt worked out, i find that its not as easy as I had hoped to just get back home.

BaZmO*

iwanttogohome1 wrote:

Re my GF, she has a really good job back home that she loves, loads of friends and family and would never dream of moving over here. So why should she sacrifice all that? She would move over here jobless and friendless away from the environment she loves.

Why can't she come over to you at weekends? Or you to her?

Marksie

iwanttogohome1 wrote:

I suppose it was the job to live up to its potential
.

Jobs are jobs, they aren't alive, they are what you make them.
However, if you are that negative, that unhappy.

Come home, why put yourself through it. Let you g/friend know and she will be happier.

The Sweeper

Yeah I agree. Looks you had a bad time of it with a few people and while I think you're a little hasty tarring an entire nation with the same brush, and while I'd have my views on the naivety of your original expectations, the purpose of you posting here is to get advice, not a whole pile of our judgements.

So here's the thing:

1. List the top five reasons you want to leave and have them handy for parents, friends etc.
2. Start pursuing a job in Ireland in earnest. You've decided you want to leave your existing job - if I were you, and I'd only stuck something out for a bare three months, I wouldn't even include it on my CV. I'd try and disguise it as time spent travelling or somesuch.
3. On that basis, tell your manager tomorrow that things haven't worked out and you have to leave. Invent a family emergency if you have to - much as I hate to say it, some UK employers have very specific views on Irish people and the concept of you 'goin home fer de femmilie' is entirely plausible.
4. Tell your girlfriend you're coming home so she stops bloody whinging.
5. Book your one-way flights and start a countdown with your friends and your missus to make the time go faster.

If you're as miserable as you say you are, chalk this down as an expensive and hard-learned lesson and go back to your old life.

muppetkiller

As the John Butler Trio say "the grass is greener there , but just as hard to mow"

The problem here is not the English people or your job . It's YOU.
If you don't like the job , leave it and get another one ( mind you get another job first before you leave).
How in this day and age anyone could be bored in London is beyond me.
you say you don't do anything in the evenings ? Have you joined any local soccer clubs ? Ex-pats clubs ? Joining a gym is not a way to meet people.

What are you doing to make your life better besides moaning ?

In life you'll meet lots of situations like this. It's how you over come them that makes you who you are.

Caliden

It's your life and you should enjoy it. If you hate your job, leave it.
Your parents will support you no matter what happens.

If I was in that situation I would rather be earning enough money to get me by and be happy rather than earning massive money and being unhappy.

Hrududu

if your girlfriend liked u enough, she would follow...

u go through the thick and thin together and here you are in the thick of it all and she is at home begging you to come home, if she liked u enough, she would be over there with you now supporting you telling you it is going to be fine...and encouraging you...

but no, she is at home on her arse and you are getting homesick...I wouldn't put much faith in that partner...and i believe this is reflecting on you deep down and causing such a negative outlook on your current life.

Why should she? She obviously has her own life and stuff going on. Is her life less important than his? She should drop everything because he wanted to move? By that logic you could say if he really loved her he wouldnt have left. Ridiculous.

To the OP, all the money in the world isnt worth hating the job you are in. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I got a job that paid a pretty obscene amount of money compared to what I had been on before. It was the worst job I have ever had. Every morning I dreaded going to work. If I was in a similar situation again I wouldnt hesitate to quit as soon as I could. Selfishly I know that my happiness is more important than a job or what other people think. Why bother being unhappy for the sake of someone else?

Seraphina

jesus, you and your whingebag gf sound equally clingy and dependent on one another.

you moved out to england with all these expectations of things that would happen, but by the looks of it, you didn't really try very hard to make it happen.
you're moany and homesick, and you aren't trying to make it better for yourself. as if hours on the phone every night to your crying girlfriend are going to help.
if thats all she's going to do for you, i'd dump her asap. you said she's got a great job and loads of friends and family in ireland, so why the **** is she crying down to phone to you every night?
cause things aren't working out the way she likes them. for someone who should love you, she doesn't seem to care much about how YOU feel, about YOUR life, YOUR career, or whats best for YOU. i know you say you're not happy, but jesus how can you be happy if your gf can't even be supportive of your decision, and moans and begs for you to come home? imo she's an awful person for doing that, she should have put her feelings aside and supported your decision.

i'd say alot of the negativity is coming from the guilt you feel because of leaving her behind.
tbh, i'd say give up and go home. at this stage you're too negative about the whole thing to try changing anything. why bother accepting a new job and moving to another country if you can't face the challenges this brings head-on.
things dont just fall in your lap, you gotta make them happen.

LegacyUser

Hrududu wrote:

Why should she? She obviously has her own life and stuff going on. Is her life less important than his? She should drop everything because he wanted to move? By that logic you could say if he really loved her he wouldnt have left. Ridiculous.

No no and no. All i am saying is if they are a serious outfit, then she should have gone over because the OP says he is earning big money so I assume that's more than his girlfriend, and it is possible he could also marry that girl he is with one day so I just don't see why she would not come over with you and try it out. Afterall, he could be saving for their future... That's all. Understand now?

LegacyUser

Seraphina wrote:

jesus, you and your whingebag gf sound equally clingy and dependent on one another.

you moved out to england with all these expectations of things that would happen, but by the looks of it, you didn't really try very hard to make it happen.
you're moany and homesick, and you aren't trying to make it better for yourself. as if hours on the phone every night to your crying girlfriend are going to help.
if thats all she's going to do for you, i'd dump her asap. you said she's got a great job and loads of friends and family in ireland, so why the **** is she crying down to phone to you every night?
cause things aren't working out the way she likes them. for someone who should love you, she doesn't seem to care much about how YOU feel, about YOUR life, YOUR career, or whats best for YOU. i know you say you're not happy, but jesus how can you be happy if your gf can't even be supportive of your decision, and moans and begs for you to come home? imo she's an awful person for doing that, she should have put her feelings aside and supported your decision.

i'd say alot of the negativity is coming from the guilt you feel because of leaving her behind.
tbh, i'd say give up and go home. at this stage you're too negative about the whole thing to try changing anything. why bother accepting a new job and moving to another country if you can't face the challenges this brings head-on.
things dont just fall in your lap, you gotta make them happen.

This is exactly what I was trying to say. She deserves to be dumped at this rate. Where is the support?

Seraphina clearly has some of the qualities I would expect my girlfriend to have if i were in the OP position...

gary the great

Hold on a minute here.

im going through something really similar at the the moment.
Its easy for you lot to say "stop moaning" etc but i bet most of you didnt show the ambition to get up and leave ur comfort zone and long term girlfriend to go pursue your career? Its a massive life changing experience that can either work out great or go all wrong.

In my situation, i also dont like the job. If i had of had this job back home i would of left after the first month, but because i came all the way over here i tried to stick it out. Here I am after 6months regreting not packing up and movin earlier.

"get a plane back home every weekend". Cop on. To get to Heathrow or Gatwick is £25 return. You will not get a ryanair flight on a friday afternoon for less than 150euro excluding taxes and same for the return flight home. Then taxis in Dublin etc. Thats a lot of money. Plus the hassle of flying every week would get seriously stressful.

I would agree that the english will moan a lot, but you have to just laugh it of OP. As was said, there is always something to do in London, but you will spend serious money.

If you dont like it, go home and put it behind you as an experience, im sure you've learned a lot of lessons. Dont listen to most of the people on here, lifes to short. Do what makes you happy.

Hrududu

No no and no. All i am saying is if they are a serious outfit, then she should have gone over because the OP says he is earning big money so I assume that's more than his girlfriend, and it is possible he could also marry that girl he is with one day so I just don't see why she would not come over with you and try it out. Afterall, he could be saving for their future... That's all. Understand now?

The issues isnt about money. She is settled in a place she loves. She has family, friends and a job she loves. So just because he wants to move away to a big money job means nothing. She should leave everything for his career?

Women know you're limits!

Floppybits

OP, what advice are you looking for? It seems to me that the decision is already made.

Are you looking for advice on how to tell your boss that you are leaving?

In my own personnel opinion I think you went to England with the wrong attitude. To move away to another job and for it to be successful you have to want to do it. From what I read on this thread and your previous thread you never really wanted to move.

I have lived in England and I can say that the people over there are nice and welcoming. Ok you do have your prats but when I lived there it was great. Made loads of friends and I still go over to see them.

As other posters have said it doesn't cost much to fly to a from England. when I lived there I use to fly home at least once every 4 to 6 weeks and my mates would come over every few months. Sometimes I couldn't get rid of them.:D

Anyway OP if you are that unhappy come home simple as. I just hope you dont regret coming home for a GF. I know I do when I left a job in Paris to come home for a GF only to split up a few months later. If there is one thing in life I will always regret its that.

LegacyUser

Hrududu wrote:

The issues isnt about money. She is settled in a place she loves. She has family, friends and a job she loves. So just because he wants to move away to a big money job means nothing. She should leave everything for his career?

Women know you're limits!

Well you can stay sitting on the curb then can't you? Fact of the matter is, if you are in a serious relationship and your going as strong as ever and intend on doing things together, then she should go over and try it and support him, if she doesn't go, she doesn't love you enough.

You wouldn't move over with Brad Pitt then no?

gary the great

Ye but you could say if he loved her enough he would of stayed!!

LegacyUser

But this was a big opportunity for him, if she had an equally big thing going on at home then fine, back to the drawing board to compromise...

but she just seemed like a lazy whiney bitch...who is not supporting her boyfriend to me

Hrududu

If she had an equally big thing going on at home then fine, back to the drawing board to compromise...

Where did he say she was a "lazy whiney bitch"? She seems to have an equally big thing going on at home. Its called a life. You seem to only see one thing and thats the guys perspective. He wanted to go then she should have gone with him. Obviously a woman should drop everything she has going in her life when her man wants to move somewhere else. When she doesnt, kick her to the curb. Have fun living in the 1950s.

LegacyUser

She is supporting me! I exaggerated a bit with the whole crying thing, that’s only happened a couple of times over the 3 months. She has been really supportive, not until last week when I hit rock bottom did she say come home, all the time before that she was telling me to keep going and to stick it out it would get better! So she is supportive. She only said I should come home last week as she realised how unhappy I am here.

The reason she didn’t move over is she has been working since she left school and has progressed really far in her career, she would be earning nearly as much as me. She is also really really happy in her job, so much so she will sometimes go in early or on weekends without pay. She is well paid for it to. She has a fantastic family around her and a lot of really close friends and is really happy at home. She is also a big part of a local GAA team and has been for the last 15years and she loves that to, she would be lost without it.
I try get over to Ireland every 3 weeks when possible, but tbh it makes it even harder when I come back. The thought of not seeing the GF for another 3 weeks does get me down, naturally. We have been with each other years and have gone through a lot and lived together.

I suppose I didn't know what to expect. The lads in the house lied a bit to me and said they were having the time of their life over here, but it turns out there applying for jobs back home and can't wait to leave. I try get them to go out or go for a game of football but they just won't! You end up giving up after a while!

On the job front, I'm really outgoing in the office, have a laugh with everyone etc. I organize all the non-work events, like last week we went bowling. Its ok but tbh everyone in the office is in there 40's and 50's, there grand but you do need to have a laugh with people your own age. Plus I know nobody is really interested in non-work events such as these and I feel like I'm pestering colleagues etc
I tried to organize a 5 a side team with the people from the office, but it was a non-starter.
Job wise, my job is really technical and quite difficult. I have been put into a position where I am so out of my depth. I was told at the interview I would be put on a training program and given a lot of help and guidance. This has been non-existent. My senior who was meant to do this only works 2 days a week. He's also a bit mad in the head, in that he had a massive breakdown around Xmas and has never really recovered. He's on so many drugs he can't work himself never mind teach somebody else. My boss over him is quite un-approachable although I have approached him twice about it. He said that I would be put on a training program, but this has failed to happen as there is nobody to train me!
They never really wanted to hire me is the impression I got from day 1, they did want someone with a lot of experience originally. But I was the only one who applied I think, so despite leaving me waiting a couple of months they hired me so the job wouldn't be froze


I guess I've realised what a great life I had at home and how money (which was my main motivation) isn’t everything. I suppose you don't know what you got till it's gone. I was happy at home, but wanted to try this out, to experience living in London and earning big money. I only ever planned on coming over for 8-12 mths max, so although it looks like I'll cutting it short, it was never the plan to stay here.

gary the great

As i am in a fairly similar situation, i've decided to work for another month or 2, do lots of overtime and then go travelling for a few months while i sort myself out. maybe u could go travelling for a while with your other half?

Only a suggestion!

Moojuice

OP go home. Seriously, life is too short to waste doing something you hate. Its not quitting its doing the right thing for yourself. It may be well paid but its only money and that isnt going to make you happy. The way I see it the choice is clear, go home and be happy.