Grief = anger

445279.ie

It's the 1st anniversary of my mothers death next week and I've been sucked back into the angry phase.

I was really angry about a month after mum died last year, but that anger seemed to dissapear after a while.

But in the last week it's crept back into my life. I just can't help it :mad:

I'm so angry at work and with the people I work with. But thankfully they are very understanding. It was so bad last week that a customer told me I had an attitude problem (bloody cheek )

Am I alone or is this the norm?

H

WindSock

No, you are not alone. I feel the same on my Dads anniversary. A little less now, he passed 6 years ago, but for the first few years I was pissed off with everyone and wanted to be left alone and not bothered for about a week or two. All part of the process, as they say. But it is natural and understandable to not be acting 'normal' on anniversaries and such. Embrace whatever you are feeling, rather than cover it up.

St Bill

Hi OP, it's perfectly normal to be angry. It is, as I think you've realised, all part of the grief. It's only a year since your mother died, I think the first year is the hardest and after that it tends to get 'easier' (for want of a better word!).
Over the years you will have times when you are angry and sad because she's gone. On the other hand, you will also have times though where you can remember her with a smile, and in my experience the latter happens more often than the former as the years go by

mike65

Things like first aniversary of the deads passing , or birth or first Christmas, first post death big event like a grandaughters' birthday or first day at school. Anything that suddenly focuses attention on the person who's not there to share the moment tends to cause a mix of stress anxiety and anger.

Mike.

princess_kiki

same thing happened to me,i thought i was coping ok but i got angry again a while after her year anniversary.it lasted for about two months before i started to accept it again.it really is normal and i know your probably sick of hearing it and probably dont believe it, but it does get easier.

DublinWriter

My Mum died earlier this month and I've been really surprised at myself over the anger I've been feeling - I never realised it was part of the whole grieving process and it shocked me a little as it's totally out of character for me.

Thankfully it does pass, but I think the stages of greiving must be cyclical if people say they are still getting angry after anniverseries, etc.

Marksie

No its not unusual OP.

When the feeling passes, it mayb be a nice idea to say to your work colleagues thanks for being so understanding.

It will help there immesureably

Maple

Its just part of the grieving process OP, anniversaries are truly hard to bear and you'll be a veritable melting pot of emotion around them. Do maybe have a word with your colleagues tho explaining the situation.

sobriquet

Hi OP,

I know exactly how you feel. My mother died only a month ago, after a long period of sometimes-terminal and sometimes not illnesses. Sometimes I'm pretty much ok with it, sometimes not, and there's no predicting when it comes and goes. This past weekend we had the months mind I've been everywhere between utter despondency and zen like acceptance and back, sometimes in the space of a couple of hours.

The worst I find is getting angry about other things, stuff you'd not normally care about. It's a kind of projection I suppose, externalizing your grief and anger. I've no constructive advice to offer other than try to be aware of when you're doing it and feeling that way, at least you can keep on top of it then.

I feel for you dude.

445279.ie

Thanks for all the kind words.

Was practically boiling over in work today but only have 2 more days to go before the anniversary on Friday

Spoke to a couple of the girls in work and they're all very understanding. They're really looking after me.

Thanks again everyone
H

Sony

Hi Rebel Im sorry youre feeling this way, I've also been there this year...I dont know what the logic was behind it but for some reason her passing affected me more a year on than it did initially. But I can handle it and I know you can too...the worst thing you can do is let it make you feel like this,its best not to remember your mother for the times that she was ill and to ry to remember the times when she brought you shopping as a kid , brought you on holidays or whatever other memories you have that you treasure.

I kow this sounds a little cliche and simple but it works for me