Unwanted guest problem

imeddyhobbs

Living in a 3 bed house with a friend,we're both male

Everything has been spot on with the exception of his girlfriend(student,off for the summer)who calls around every week sometimes for 2 days maybe 3 and sometimes 1 day
I'm extreamly easy going about everything and i dont like confrontation
One of my dislikes of her is that when lets say all 3 of us are in the sitting room she hardly says anything to me,just no interest in talking to me which i find rude because after all she is a guest but when its just the two of us in the room she might sometimes make an attempt to talk
Another gripe i have with her is that she always sits in my seat(2 seater)in front of my pc,thats the seat that i always use and thats all there is to it!i was in it last week and they were on the other couch beside me,i got up to go for a leak and when i came back they were on my seat,when i come in at lunchtime she's sitting on the 2 seater and when i come back that evening she's there and using my pc without asking
Then there is her use of all the utilitys that im paying for.
She drinks at LEAST 10 cups of tea a day,she stays in the shower for almost 30 mins and she dips into my food to cook in the oven she also opens unopened fruit drinks or biscuts or whatever that i own without asking
She lazes around the house whenever she is around and she would not lift a finger to do anything,for example i left a pretty full ashtray in front of the pc yesterday but when i came home the buts were practically falling out of it,(yea she smokes too)she never cleans a thing
The other night they went out and when they came home they went upstairs and i had to listen to the geebag moaning,it happened the next day too but i had words with my housemate about that,it shows her lack of respect,i can live with a squeaky matress or a little bit of noise but i dont want to hear a some useless moocher moaning with her mouth wide open,knowing that there is someone in the house.

How should i approach my housemate about this without causing too much resentment or friction,I dont care about her opinion!

mad m

Ask your mate is she giving money towards the food/tea bags (Laugh/joke...But Seriously) Put a password on Pc/or when your logging in put a name like..."Not yours"....Maybe get some ear plugs for the moaning,cant be helped I'm afraid.

You will have to stand your ground as from your post its doing your head in.Your space is your space,thats what your paying for isn't it?

Bicky

I read boards almost every day but i have not felt the urge to post in quite a while.
So she sat in your chair and made noise during sex?

Chill out.

Marty DiBergi

its a bit more than that Bicky. i know how imeddyhobbs feels. The boyfriend/girlfriend who treats the other halfs place like their own is a real age old problem. Slowly the small things eat into you. This happens if you are fairly easy going. People do take advantage. Pretty soon imeddyhobbs may find that its a 2 versus 1 situation.it will be then impossible be able to bring up the issue without seeming petty. "who has been sitting in my chair?". The same happened to me years ago. Eventually I snapped when I discovered someone had been "sleeping" in my bed and had left evidence. I blew big style. This freeloading goes on a lot. my advice-don't beat around the bush. it will only get worse if leave it.

stovelid

Happened to me years ago OP. Just get another place.

She sounds like a free loader but in my experience, bringing it up with your flatmate just causes grief.

At the time, I basically suggested that the mot just move in and start paying rent and it didn't go down very well at all.

Bicky wrote:

I read boards almost every day but i have not felt the urge to post in quite a while.
So she sat in your chair and made noise during sex?

Chill out.

You should refine your speed reading technique. You read about a quarter of the OPs post by the sound of it.

minicin

I am a girlfriend who stays in my boyfriends house say 2ish nights a week. I am not a "freeloader" and even would get up off a seat in the living room if a person who actually pays rent came in and there was no seats left ( not that they would make me!). Its just about respect and she needs to realise she doesnt live there, say something if I was being as annoying as her I would want to know as maybe she doesnt realise shes doing it! Lay it out plain and simple and if your housemate doesnt agree or understand or come to some sort of agreement about her staying then its simple she cant stay!

connundrum

PI in my opinion.

What everyone will probably tell you is that you'll have to confront your mate about it, or in fact confront the girl. Its your home and she's making you feel uncomfortable in it, that can't continue.

mathie

She blatantly wants you.

BC

If you have issues then you need to talk to your flatmate about them. She is his guest and therefore his responsibility.

I think you are over reacting about her not talking to you she might be just shy or not know what to say. Plus she isn't your girlfriend, as long as she's not obnoxious to you thats not an issue. Sitting on your seat???Seriously, get over it!!!

The only thing i would gripe about is her taking your food. That could be because her boyfriend hasn't told her whats what though so you need to talk to him about it.

As someone else said the boyf/girlf staying over issue happens to everyone at some stage. But in fairness to this girl, less than 3 nights a week doesn't sound like they are taking the piss - people are entitled to have friends over.

jackal

Sounds like this girl is overstepping the mark a little bit, but not to the point where there is really bad feeling or anything. Now is the time to nip it in the bud before it gets worse (and it will).

We share a house and a boyfreind stays over 2-3 times a week. He is very considerate, tidy and treats the house as his own - in a good way. Its never awkward, and no problems at all.

Its probably just a reflection on her personality and it sounds like she does not have the cop on and respect for herself either, not just your house.

She is the housemates responsibility, so bring it up with him, and let him sort it. Eating your food, using your computer are not on. Cleaning up a bit after herself would not hurt either. Its basic respect and she should have some for other peoples belongings at the very least.

Suggestions for the sex thing, just stand right outside their door and let out a few moans yourself next time she's at it... "Ohhhhhhhhhh god...... Bleedin.... ashtray so fullllll...... yes.....

the_syco

Just came across this post again. OP: sounds like she still lives at home with mammy and daddy, and hasn't grasped the "this is my sh|t" rule of sharing a house.

scaldybelt

Maybe she could buy a house of her own?
Haven't house prices come down recently to make them affordable to the ordinary Joe Soap once again?
I hear we've never had it so good and we're the richest nation in the galaxy. As a child of the knowledge economy surely his girlfriend has a bright future for herself flipping burgers?

But seriously - you need to have words with him - and if that fails, give her 'both barrels'. She may well like that from you (the dominant alpha male) as you after-all have a pc and he doesn't!

Why not leave this webpage open the next time you suspect she'll be using the pc?

MagicMarker

the chair or staying over part i wouldn't care... But eating my **** and using my computer? I would actually drag her out of the house. How disrespectful can you be???!!!!