Confused

LegacyUser

I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago; we weren’t going out for very long we stayed friends for a while, then had an argument and stopped talking to each other. She broke up with me but I wasn’t to upset about it. We have been in contact on and off since then but only politely by text. If I don’t contact her for a few weeks she will text me to ask me something (to me it is like she is contacting me so I don’t forget about her).

A couple of weeks ago she text me asking me to return something I had that she needed, I said okay and that I would give it to a mutual friend to pass on, I have done this before, but she said no she want to meet up with me instead so I agreed.

About a week later I text her to say that I was free and she sent one back saying that she didn’t need it anymore.

I took it on face value, she needed what I had and then changed her mind, however some of my female friends are saying that she is still interested and that is why she keeps contacting me. That this time she wanted to meet up but when I agreed she backed out. None of my friends really know her; they only met her a couple of times.

I’m not sure if I want to go out with her again and I know I need to sort out how I feel, but to me it seems every time I’m getting on with things she makes contact.

I am just looking for opinions on this, I know no one can tell me exactly what she is playing at but she is really playing with my head and the one thing I hate are games.

_blank_

You say that it's just when you feel like you are moving on that she contacts you.

1. Get all the stuff she owns that you still have and give it to this mutual friend to give to her.

2. Ignore any future texts from her.

3. Get on with your life properly.

---

Or, go on like this for ever.

kaalgat

Really the only thing that comes to mind here is that you should sort out how you feel. If you don't want to be with her again, probably the best thing to do is to break all contact with her. Even change your number if you need to, if it is her that is contacting you all the time.

You cannot expect to move on if she keeps contacting you. You've broken up. That to me means a permanent break.

muppetkiller

seansouth wrote:

You say that it's just when you feel like you are moving on that she contacts you.

1. Get all the stuff she owns that you still have and give it to this mutual friend to give to her.

2. Ignore any future texts from her.

3. Get on with your life properly.

---

Or, go on like this for ever.

Yip listen to Seansouth

G&T

With seansouth on this one,

She sound's like a head wrecker,

Forget about her and find someone new,

masseyno9

Sounds like she just wants to have that "just wanted to know i could..." feeling. She wants to know she can still control you basically. If i was in your situation i'd ask her outright if she wants to try being friends or if she wants a clean break.

In the case of the former, make it clear that 'friends' is a two way thing...you are not a doormat!! (not talking best buddies or anything, just amicable if/when out with mutual friends etc..)

If she wants a clean break, then box up all her stuff. give it back to her, and be done with her. move on and find another! (and hope mutual friends don't invite the 2 of you out at the same time!!)

Wibbs

masseyno9 wrote:

Sounds like she just wants to have that "just wanted to know i could..." feeling. She wants to know she can still control you basically. If i was in your situation i'd ask her outright if she wants to try being friends or if she wants a clean break.

Right on the money. You're in safety net zone. A little power trip for her when she feels lonely. I would even forget the friends bit too. Next time she contacts you, just say "It's good to hear from you, but I would prefer if you didn't contact me unless it's to discuss a potential reconcilliation if we're both free at the time. If not I wish you the best.". That of course pre supposes you may want a reconcilliation. If not just tell her you would like some space and maybe in the future further down the line you may resume contact but at this time you don't think it's likely. If she contacts you again, which I would put money she will if you say either of the above, just be pleasant and cut the conevrsation short. This isn't rude or selfish either. She is being rude and selfish for not respecting your need for closure/space so anything you do is in direct response to that.

Caliden

Wibbs wrote:

Right on the money. You're in safety net zone. A little power trip for her when she feels lonely. I would even forget the friends bit too. Next time she contacts you, just say "It's good to hear from you, but I would prefer if you didn't contact me unless it's to discuss a potential reconcilliation if we're both free at the time. If not I wish you the best.". That of course pre supposes you may want a reconcilliation. If not just tell her you would like some space and maybe in the future further down the line you may resume contact but at this time you don't think it's likely. If she contacts you again, which I would put money she will if you say either of the above, just be pleasant and cut the conevrsation short. This isn't rude or selfish either. She is being rude and selfish for not respecting your need for closure/space so anything you do is in direct response to that.

Don't even hint like you want to get back with her as this is exactly what she wants. She wants to know that she still has you wrapped around her little finger. I went out with a girl like this before and I ended up just telling to her fcuk off. She wanted to be friends and kept leading me on for 2 months after we broke up and I couldn't move on fully.

You are essentially an ego boost for her when she is feeling depressed.