girlfriend very depressed

LegacyUser

OK so this has been going on since November. She sees a counsellor on and off - very irregularly. she's afraid if she gets prescribed medicine she'll be dependent on it forever. Now the last few days it's got worse

On Saturday she cried for hours and told me she wanted to curl up and die. yesterday she said she wanted to go to hospital and be looked after because she couldnt trust herself, she being thinking about ending it.

Anyone have any advice about checking in to hospitals? Dublin based.

thanks

Maple

your girlfriend needs to go to see her GP, she will need a referral letter from them in order for her to be able to admit herself to hospital.

does she have medical insurance? its an extremely costly business.

ruffles

You would encourage your girlfriend to see her doctor, they see cases like this every day and know how to help her. I think it is very likely she will be prescribed medication but you need to assure her that this is the best course of action, there is a fear surrounding anti depressants and becoming "addicted" for life, this is not true, there is just a stigma attached to it. If she were diabetic and neded to be put on insulin would she be so resistant i think not. These drugs are not necesssarily needed for life but can make an astounding difference and coupled wioth counselling can give her back the quality of life she has lost. I trust you will be supportve and patient she is going through a very bad time but there is hope trust me.

panda100

Hey op,you really have to get your girlfriend to see her gp.Preferably a kind considerate gp who wont rush her out the door.
If she lets this low mood fester it will only get worse so she needs outside help. She's lucky t have someone like you supporting her

LegacyUser

well I try to encourage her to see her GP and see her counsellor more.

Excuse after excuse, 50euro for GP and the cost of psychotherapy, I keep telling her is it not worth it to be happy again. she's not as low today but still very down

I'm also saying medication may not be necessary (even though it probably will) and discussion therapy may sort it.

Just need to get her to the GP

thanks for the tips and advice, it's really encouraging as I'm finding things very difficult as a result, very broken sleep last night - not good

claire-g

ruffles wrote:

YI think it is very likely she will be prescribed medication but you need to assure her that this is the best course of action, there is a fear surrounding anti depressants and becoming "addicted" for life, this is not true, there is just a stigma attached to it.

Just to put it into perspective there is a chance of addiction with these meds, with newer types of antidepressants it is less likely but theres a chance nonetheless. That being said your girlfriend is crying out for help and well done for listening and trying to help. A doctor probably is the best option and if he/she doesnt listen and understand how distressed she is, seek a second opinion and a third if necessary. Even though there are some side effects to medications like antidepressants there are also HUGE advantages, the most important thing is that if your girlfriend goes down that route and agrees to take meds she will have to do so exactly as outlined by doc and it should always be closely monitered. Like another poster said, this in conjunction with counselling should make a big difference.

One afterthought though: You said she doesnt go to counsellor regularly?? Does she find counsellor helpful?? If not, consider seeking another one.

ladylorenzo

panda100 wrote:

Hey op,you really have to get your girlfriend to see her gp.Preferably a kind considerate gp who wont rush her out the door.
If she lets this low mood fester it will only get worse so she needs outside help. She's lucky t have someone like you supporting her

Here here. Having lived with a person suffered from depression, I know how difficult it can be. Just try and encourage her as much you can, give her loads of love and support and keep telling her and showing her that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

In my experience, people suffering from depression feel that they are a burden to those who love them and that those people would be better off if they weren't around...you have to keep telling her that this simply isnt true and that the only thing she has to worry about right now is getting better. As Panda100 said, she is lucky to have you. Good luck, LL

Marksie

There is so much creditable in your obvious love and support for your g/friend. All you can do is continue with it.

What comes across is what you have said yourself. Excuse after excuse.

In the end, you are not responsible for her actions. Short of dragging her unwilling, it is up to your g/friend to take positive action herself.

Once she does that, then resolving the issue can commence.

All the best

Offalycool

Convince her to go straight to the doctor. Tell her she will feel better if she does.. and not to worry about medication for life. Medication will help in the short term, and in the long term she can do whatever’s best for her.

LegacyUser

My wife had mild depression and has had a few counselling sessions which helped. I also bought St John's Wort for her from the UK (it can be had on prescription here) which is a natural remedy to treat depression. All in all she is feeling much better after both treatments.

Nevyn

Many peopole can have adverse reaction to st johns wort.

Maple

worriedguy wrote:

well I try to encourage her to see her GP and see her counsellor more.

Excuse after excuse, 50euro for GP and the cost of psychotherapy, I keep telling her is it not worth it to be happy again. she's not as low today but still very down

I'm also saying medication may not be necessary (even though it probably will) and discussion therapy may sort it.

Just need to get her to the GP

thanks for the tips and advice, it's really encouraging as I'm finding things very difficult as a result, very broken sleep last night - not good

your girlfriend is a very lucky woman. i hope that you guys get through this and come out the other side happier and stronger as a result.

b3t4

Along with what Thaedydal says, St John's wart is not available without a prescription in Ireland and it can affect the contraceptive pill.

OP, it sounds like your girlfriend in her depressed state needs things to be done for her rather than be left up to her own devisives. You can do this in a supportive manner. I suggest the following:
1. Say that you will pay the e50 (or discuss with doctor if ye could pay in installments)
2. You ring the doctor to make an appointment for her.
3. Go to the doctor with her but remain in the waiting room when she goes in.

You taking control takes the pressure off her and will help your anxiety.

If the above doesn't work then you have to come to terms with the fact that there is very little else you can do but to seek counselling yourself to cope with this.

Best of luck,
A

LegacyUser

thanks for all the comments

think I'll try get her to the doctor and then take it from there

its been an awful nine months, college for her out the window, relationship hanging on an edge every week, she has no drive to do anything

I'm surprised I've lasted

the counsellor she talks to is from her school days and is the only one she trusts and he's been advising her to see someone more independent, anyway hopefully we'll make some progress over the next few days

thanks again

claire-g

i hope everything will be ok

C
x

lizzyvera

Stop giving medical advice and opinions about antidepressants! The doc will know best.

Good luck OP

StormWarrior

If things are seriously that bad that her life is in immediate danger, you should take her to your nearest accident and emergency department.

btw, if she really needs medication, surely that's better than dying? And the new medicines these days are unlikely to be addictive.

Esel

maple wrote:

your girlfriend needs to go to see her GP, she will need a referral letter from them in order for her to be able to admit herself to hospital.

does she have medical insurance? its an extremely costly business.

Not true, AFAIK. A person can present at a regular hospital (they have a Psychiatric Registrar) or a psychiatric hospital without needing a letter from a GP. There should be little or no cost to the patient in this scenario.

Miss Fluff

UnReg07 wrote:

I also bought St John's Wort for her from the UK (it can be had on prescription here) which is a natural remedy to treat depression. .

People seem to underestimate the potency of "natural" remedies. SJW is a really strong (albeit in many cases effective drug) but I wouldn't recommend it without a qualified herbalist & GP giving it say so. Anyway, this has been commented on a few times.

All I will say is that she has to break the relationship between her and the counsellor she has been seeing since her school days. He is obviously consciencous enough to suggest the same, she needs to go and speak to a impartial professional who will help her on her way. Afaik not all drugs to treat depression automatically mean life dependency, sometimes it is a chemical imbalance that needs short-term treatment = longterm results. You sound like you love her, it must take the patience of a saint and huge commitment to stand by her like this so all I suggest is exploring other channels.

LegacyUser

Hey worried guy Ive been very depressed most of my life, I dont go out much because I just didn't seem to be happy. Some people use to think I was reeal ignorant for explain if someone or whatever was telling a joke I wouldn't laugh.

You should however just keep comforting that's very helpful to a person is depressed they feel so insecure.

St John's wort is illegal to buy over the counter or have it imported so Im not sure it's a good mentioning that but then again the Irish goverment would ban anything.

Been honest a counsellor wil do feck all to change the way she feels get her to a doctor. There is medication it all works different on people. I was on prozac IMO it made me worse so I stopped taking them that was about 2 years ago ever since then Ive hardly went out. I'm now on http://www.effexorxr.com/ and I would honestly say get her to the doctor's and even no matter what the doctor says get him/her to put her on these tablets. It will take sometime she could be on them for a year but it will be all worth it.

All the best.

maxheadroom

esel wrote:

Not true, AFAIK. A person can present at a regular hospital (they have a Psychiatric Registrar) or a psychiatric hospital without needing a letter from a GP. There should be little or no cost to the patient in this scenario.

You'd usually be assessed in general A&E, then a psych consult will be asked for, then depending on the outcome you'd get either an admission or an urgent (i.e. next day) referral to your local community psychiatric service (day hospital / home care etc).

OP - if she starts going through a seriously bad spell and you're concerned she may harm herself in some way, and she refuses to go and see someone, call her GP yourself, at that point she'd be considered for an involuntary admission to hospital.

Victor

NowImHappy wrote:

http://www.effexorxr.com/

"This site is intended only for residents of the United States".

Its is not for us to give medical advice. There are lots of treatments out there, pharmaceutical or otherwise, but it is for a doctor to decide in consultation with the patient.

Marksie

OP: there are a list of links in the charter sticky. Why dont you aheva look at those and phone a few?