to dump or not to dump....

pixie19

not my post

PeakOutput

dump


be single for a while


dont take him back

have fun

Ruu_Old

Stay single for a while until you become a bit more secure. You need to have a bit of confidence that you can make things on your own. Its not very healthy to be acting like you are.

claire-g

dont stay with someone because you

a) feel sorry for them
b) are afraid to be on your own
c) want to have your cake and eat it.

Let him go and do your own thing, otherwise someone (probably him) will get hurt......bad!!!

G&T

Your bf sound's a bit draining tbh

You must have had good reasons to dump him
and pity made you take him back.....
Sound's like you have had enough(again)

IMO finish it and play the field a bit
your only young once.

Wibbs

claire-g wrote:

dont stay with someone because you

a) feel sorry for them
b) are afraid to be on your own
c) want to have your cake and eat it.

Nail on the head. this is sadly all too common. More common among women, but I suspect that's down to the fact that men in general don't have the opportunities that women have. It's a sellers market after all.:D That said one male mate of mine does exactly the same thing.

B and C are biggies. B is the biggest issue of all. If you're not comfortable with yourself and yourself alone, then how do you expect to bring something solid to any relationship? You'll likely keep hopping from one to the next without breathing, finally finding someone you think is the "one" only to discover you've not found yourself. Not good. You may end up losing something good, just because you may not see it at the time. Or you stay in relationships regardless of how good they are for you, from fear. Not good either.

Usually people who go from one to the next in rapid succession are fine in the honeymoon stage. That can last for years too. At least a watered down version of it. Everything is fine until you meet someone you fancy and the previous relationship suddenly loses its glister, even if it was a good one that with a little effort could really work. You may never get to the next step of love. The slow burning, shared history, shared future, pure intimate kind.

I'm certainly not saying this current relationship will lead to that, but without time on your own, time to reflect on who you are and what you need and want for yourself, you may never know with any relationship.

Stabshauptmann

OP why bother with a post like that. That post tells us two things, that you have made a decision and that we would be mad not to agree.

BoozyBabe

TBH, from my experience of this, if you're even asking the question, then you already know the answer deep down

louisecm

BoozyBabe wrote:

TBH, from my experience of this, if you're even asking the question, then you already know the answer deep down

True.

Also, the probability is that if you've never been happy on your own you will never be happy in a relationship.

galah

pixie19 wrote:

ok so ive been with my bf for a long time 3 yrs 6 mths i love him but lately all we do is argue and snipe at each other,

To make things worse i fancy a guy at work and i cant stop thinking about him, i dont kno what to do ive dumped my bf before but he always begs me to take him back and i do ...i dont kno why i cant stand to be alone ,

iv always had a boyf and its causing probs..see he never wants to go out so i dont get to see my friends and i feel like im losing them i dont kno what to do please help!!!

Agree with theother posters about being comfortable with yourself first, then being on your own is not such a big issue - it can actually be quite nice to be on one's own sometimes...

Anyways, what I don't get is the last sentence - surely you could go out on your own with your friends, without the boyfriend? Friends are really important, so make sure you don't lose them!

kaalgat

I agree with everything said above..

Get out of it.

Maple

Get out of the relationship. You obviously need time on your own. Don't even think of pursuing anything with the chap from work, that will only muddy the waters of your thinking. Just take some time out to reassess exactly what you want, you may decide that you do want to be with your boyfriend or you may decide that you would like to be single. But at the minute you're too involved and you can't see the wood for the trees.