dumped & alone any advise helpful

LegacyUser

its been a few months since my gf dumped me. Well thats not quite true i didnt know of this until her new boyfriend texted me to tell me he was dating her. We had been going out for 3 years but in the last few months perhaps 6 we were not sleeping together. We were still seeing each other almost everyday but towards the end she started dating new people. I didnt take anynotice of it until then. Now i am devistated. Been seeing another girl but cant stand being around her for too long. Dont know what to do. Saw my future with her and now she is gone. How will i ever get over this. I am not a child. have experienced this before but not to this extend. Its very hard....... any advise??????

Wibbs

Hang on. Let me get this straight. You're pining after a woman who lied to you and was going out with someone else while still with you? Possibly sleeping with someone else while not sleeping with you? Now answer me this, what possible future could you honestly see with someone who has that little respect for you, your relationship or herself. Answer? None. She doesn't love you. If she did, she wouldn't be with someone else or indeed a couple of someone elses. Fact.

It's hard now, because you're thinking of the good times, more than the bad. You're thinking how great you were at the start. How close you were. How great the future looked for you together. That's pretty much every relationship. Well look at it now and at the end of that relationship. If at the very start of your relationship, she was "seeing" other people, if she wasn't sleeping with you, etc how long would you have stuck around and how would you look at her in that light?

The new woman is a rebound. Don't hurt someone innocent of all this, just because your lonely and hurt. It's not the fair, moral or mannerly thing to do.

You need time on your own to sort out your head and think about why you would feel so little about yourself that you would hanker after someone that untrustworthy that, by her actions has proved she doesn't want or love you and by her actions has shown how dodgy a future you would have with someone like that.

biko

Stay single for more than 6 months.
Pick up pieces.
Move on.

Laslo

Sounds very strange. Why didn't you dump her if you knew she was dating someone else? How did you react to the new guy when he was texting you, knowing full well you were involved in a relationship with this woman? Really, really weird. But if everything you say is true then:

1) Get over it
2) Get some self respect
3) Find someone else

...in that order.

Wibbs

Laslo wrote:

1) Get over it
2) Get some self respect
3) Find someone else

...in that order.

I would say good advice, slightly wrong order.

1) Get some self respect

1a) Get to know you and what you want, not what you think you need.

2) Get over it

2a) You can't get over it if you don't go through it, learn from it, grow and move on.






3) Find someone else, only when you have completed 1 and 2.

NeMiSiS

Stand up straight, and say "f*ck this sh*t I am gonna look after me".
Go do everything you ever wanted.
TK

joesoap1976

I have been through something similar. I still am i suppose to a certain extent. It does get easier as each day passes. Thats not to say you wont feel terrible from time to time. You will but eventually the pain will go away. Its just a part of life that most people go through at some stage.

onemanband

You should at least break it off with your current girlfriend. Do not treat her like you have been treated.

have you thought about travelling. maybe take a long break and sort your head out?