Male vanity on the increase?

Archeron

Just a thought I had over the weekend. I was in TK Maxx in Blachardstown (looking for a new string vest, the old one finally gave up the ghost and went twanging over the fence into the neighbours garden, landing with a splosh in their pond) and I went upstairs in the big new store to the mens department.
When I got up there, I was horrified at the amount of vain men floating around. There are mirrors everywhere, and no matter where I looked, there were "blokes" trying on Panama hats, and burberry caps and God knows what else, and checking themselves out in the mirror. One dude actually tried on some sunglasses, looked over his own shoulder into a mirror behind him and pursed his lips like he was blowing a kiss. What the hell like?
I know many people say its good to see blokes looking after themselves and all that, and I suppose to each their own, but surely if you want to check out your own arse in a mirror, you should have the good taste to do it in a changing room, and not in the middle of a packed store?

And considering this was TK Maxx, I cant even begin to imagine what some of our fine upmarket city centre stores must be like these days and I'm glad I'm too scabby to shop in those places.
Anyone else noticed the quantity of vain metrosexual men going starkly upwards in Ireland, or am I just being paranoid?

Needless to say I just purchased a bright green glow in the dark Buddha statue (emergency birthday present) and then left in a hurry to get back to some serious beergut enhancement. I didnt even get my new string vest
(I wonder would people be upset if I tried a pair of shades on my "belly face" and made it purse its lips in the mirror?). Anyone who's seen Homer S feeding pizza to his knows what I mean.

5starpool

There is a guy I work with who matches his hairbands for his flowing locks to the colour of his shirt. I have wanted to punch him for a long time. Nice enough lad apart from that though.

I think any fella who shows signs of girlieness such as hairbands, makeup, colour coordination, wine drinking or generally doing more than the minimum required to be a man should have one testicle removed and the other one on suspended sentence. They can get their secret wish then maybe.

AlmightyCushion

5starpool wrote:

There is a guy I work with who matches his hairbands for his flowing locks to the colour of his shirt. I have wanted to punch him for a long time. Nice enough lad apart from that though.

I think any fella who shows signs of girlieness such as hairbands, makeup, colour coordination, wine drinking or generally doing more than the minimum required to be a man should have one testicle removed and the other one on suspended sentence. They can get their secret wish then maybe.

*Shudders at the thought of ever meeting this "fella" *

jhegarty

I'll just presume you are talking about the gays....

This is an alarming trend that is on the rise here in Cork. I shudder every time I park my motorcycle outside the river island store on patrick street. The city council has unfortunately placed the designated motorcycle parking area outside this shop of horrors. The amount of metrosexual / effeminate "men" that go in and out of this place is unbelieveable.

neacy69

jhegarty wrote:

I'll just presume you are talking about the gays....

Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....

jhegarty

neacy69 wrote:

Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....

i think its a concern we all have....

neacy69

neacy69 wrote:

Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....

Dettol isnt strong enough, any other recomendations:D

AlmightyCushion

Deleted User wrote:

Dettol isnt strong enough, any other recomendations:D

Sulphuric acid is the only way to cleanse your self or so I have heard.

neacy69

A (ex) friend of mine says that dettol is the only known cure for "The Gay" although he now likes it up the chuff....maybe there is no cure!!! somebody call bono and bob geldof to see if they can organise a concert to cure it

J.S. Pill

Archeron wrote:

...looking for a new string vest, the old one finally gave up the ghost and went twanging over the fence into the neighbours garden, landing with a splosh in their pond...

Surprisingly, Topman have fairly decent wife-beater vests. Only 9 bob. I have 2, one for everyday use and one for special occasions.

The Hill Billy

5starpool wrote:

I think any fella who shows signs of girlieness such as... wine drinking... should have one testicle removed and the other one on suspended sentence.

Hold yer horses there brother. There's nothing wrong with drinking wine. Just ask Keith Floyd, Peter O'Toole, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed, etc, etc... (Ahem, if half of them weren't dead. )

Back on topic:

Archeron - While I agree with most of your original post, hats can be an important item of clothing - particularly in this weather if you're follically challenged & have left your knotted hanky jizz-encrusted on the bedroom floor.

And what about this new tanning lotion malarky for men? FFS.

AlmightyCushion

Hill Billy wrote:

And what about this new tanning lotion malarky for men? FFS.

Please tell me that this is a cruel joke that you are playing on your fellow brothers and that this thing does not truely exist.

The Hill Billy

Read it & weep brother.

Oompah-loompah Face Cream for "Men"

Archeron

Hill Billy wrote:

Archeron - While I agree with most of your original post, hats can be an important item of clothing - particularly in this weather if you're follically challenged & have left your knotted hanky jizz-encrusted on the bedroom floor.

Point taken good sir. I am lucky to have a haid of hair like a magic forest that can absorb about 5 litres of water before I realize its actually raining out, so an apology to the less cranially hairy folk out there. Still though, I bet if you were wearing a bonce protector it wouldnt be a beige panama, and if it was, I bet you wouldnt be blowing kisses at yourself in the mirror when you buy it.
and as for man-tan. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

r3nu4l

Hill Billy wrote:

Hold yer horses there brother. There's nothing wrong with drinking wine. Just ask Keith Floyd, Peter O'Toole, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed, etc, etc... (Ahem, if half of them weren't dead. )

Fine examples all Brother Hill-Billy and let us not forget that while these men can be accused of wearing make-up it was in a professional capacity only and much of this make-up involved fake blood to be used in production of manly films! This I feel is excusable Brethern.

5starpool

r3nu4l wrote:

Fine examples all Brother Hill-Billy and let us not forget that while these men can be accused of wearing make-up it was in a professional capacity only and much of this make-up involved fake blood to be used in production of manly films! This I feel is excusable Brethern.

If I had to wear makeup such as that in order to get loads of money for booze, women, gambling and things to waste it on, then I would. I wouldn't much like it, but the ends justifies the means here.

I still can't really concur about the winein general, but these guys didn't drink it for the taste, bouquet, or other shíte, but only for the high alcohol content.

K-9

The best I seen was about 5 years ago, a man getting nails manicured in the Richmond Centre in Derry.

This wasn't in a beauty salon - as if I'd go there - it was in the public area on the second floor near the escalator.

Blitzkrieger

I was in Selfridges in London once and the whole metrosexual atmosphere of the place was so beguiling that it seem almost natural to wander over to the salon in the corner and get my hair and nails done. All they were missing was an astmatic guy on the door claiming to be my daddy.....

3greenrizla's

Hill Billy wrote:

Read it & weep brother.

Oompah-loompah Face Cream for "Men"

the name on that link made me LOL,

oh & yes more people are catching "the ghey".............. pink shirts, why....?

The Hill Billy

3greenrizla's wrote:

the name on that link made me LOL

Delighted to be of service.

3greenrizla's wrote:

pink shirts, why....?

Hang on a bleedin' minute! Jaysus lads I keep telling you - There's nothing wrong with pink shirts! Granted, a vast majority of blokes can't pull it off; but rest assured - if you're balding, have a paunch & a face that makes babies cry it doesn't really matter what the fcuk you wear.

Victor

Hill Billy wrote:

Hang on a bleedin' minute! Jaysus lads I keep telling you - There's nothing wrong with pink shirts! Granted, a vast majority of blokes can't pull it off; but rest assured - if you're balding, have a paunch & a face that makes babies cry it doesn't really matter what the fcuk you wear.

Will they fit over your vest though?

milod

neacy69 wrote:

Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....

Remember lads the dettol MUST be applied with a stiff wire brush to ensure complete removal of 'the Gay'...

...useful side effects include a nice beetroot red 'tan' which is infinitely more desirable than Nivea's Oompah-Loompah glow.

Take care when scrubbing round the tattoos though

The Hill Billy

Less of the homophobia there lads.
Bellies & baldness affect us all.