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Male vanity on the increase?

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  • 11-06-2007 1:47pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,242 ✭✭✭


    Just a thought I had over the weekend. I was in TK Maxx in Blachardstown (looking for a new string vest, the old one finally gave up the ghost and went twanging over the fence into the neighbours garden, landing with a splosh in their pond) and I went upstairs in the big new store to the mens department.
    When I got up there, I was horrified at the amount of vain men floating around. There are mirrors everywhere, and no matter where I looked, there were "blokes" trying on Panama hats, and burberry caps and God knows what else, and checking themselves out in the mirror. One dude actually tried on some sunglasses, looked over his own shoulder into a mirror behind him and pursed his lips like he was blowing a kiss. What the hell like?
    I know many people say its good to see blokes looking after themselves and all that, and I suppose to each their own, but surely if you want to check out your own arse in a mirror, you should have the good taste to do it in a changing room, and not in the middle of a packed store?

    And considering this was TK Maxx, I cant even begin to imagine what some of our fine upmarket city centre stores must be like these days and I'm glad I'm too scabby to shop in those places.
    Anyone else noticed the quantity of vain metrosexual men going starkly upwards in Ireland, or am I just being paranoid?

    Needless to say I just purchased a bright green glow in the dark Buddha statue (emergency birthday present) and then left in a hurry to get back to some serious beergut enhancement. I didnt even get my new string vest :(
    (I wonder would people be upset if I tried a pair of shades on my "belly face" and made it purse its lips in the mirror?). Anyone who's seen Homer S feeding pizza to his knows what I mean.


Comments

  • Subscribers Posts: 32,850 ✭✭✭✭5starpool


    There is a guy I work with who matches his hairbands for his flowing locks to the colour of his shirt. I have wanted to punch him for a long time. Nice enough lad apart from that though.

    I think any fella who shows signs of girlieness such as hairbands, makeup, colour coordination, wine drinking or generally doing more than the minimum required to be a man should have one testicle removed and the other one on suspended sentence. They can get their secret wish then maybe.


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,062 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    5starpool wrote:
    There is a guy I work with who matches his hairbands for his flowing locks to the colour of his shirt. I have wanted to punch him for a long time. Nice enough lad apart from that though.

    I think any fella who shows signs of girlieness such as hairbands, makeup, colour coordination, wine drinking or generally doing more than the minimum required to be a man should have one testicle removed and the other one on suspended sentence. They can get their secret wish then maybe.

    *Shudders at the thought of ever meeting this "fella" *


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,438 ✭✭✭jhegarty


    I'll just presume you are talking about the gays....


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    This is an alarming trend that is on the rise here in Cork. I shudder every time I park my motorcycle outside the river island store on patrick street. The city council has unfortunately placed the designated motorcycle parking area outside this shop of horrors. The amount of metrosexual / effeminate "men" that go in and out of this place is unbelieveable.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,823 ✭✭✭neacy69


    jhegarty wrote:
    I'll just presume you are talking about the gays....

    Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,438 ✭✭✭jhegarty


    neacy69 wrote:
    Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....


    i think its a concern we all have....


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    neacy69 wrote:
    Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....
    Dettol isnt strong enough, any other recomendations:D


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,062 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Dettol isnt strong enough, any other recomendations:D

    Sulphuric acid is the only way to cleanse your self or so I have heard.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,823 ✭✭✭neacy69


    A (ex) friend of mine says that dettol is the only known cure for "The Gay" although he now likes it up the chuff....maybe there is no cure!!! somebody call bono and bob geldof to see if they can organise a concert to cure it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭J.S. Pill


    Archeron wrote:
    ...looking for a new string vest, the old one finally gave up the ghost and went twanging over the fence into the neighbours garden, landing with a splosh in their pond...

    Surprisingly, Topman have fairly decent wife-beater vests. Only 9 bob. I have 2, one for everyday use and one for special occasions.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    5starpool wrote:
    I think any fella who shows signs of girlieness such as... wine drinking... should have one testicle removed and the other one on suspended sentence.
    Hold yer horses there brother. There's nothing wrong with drinking wine. Just ask Keith Floyd, Peter O'Toole, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed, etc, etc... (Ahem, if half of them weren't dead. :o )

    Back on topic:

    Archeron - While I agree with most of your original post, hats can be an important item of clothing - particularly in this weather if you're follically challenged & have left your knotted hanky jizz-encrusted on the bedroom floor.

    And what about this new tanning lotion malarky for men? FFS.


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,062 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Hill Billy wrote:
    And what about this new tanning lotion malarky for men? FFS.

    Please tell me that this is a cruel joke that you are playing on your fellow brothers and that this thing does not truely exist.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Read it & weep brother.

    Oompah-loompah Face Cream for "Men"


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,242 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Hill Billy wrote:
    Archeron - While I agree with most of your original post, hats can be an important item of clothing - particularly in this weather if you're follically challenged & have left your knotted hanky jizz-encrusted on the bedroom floor.

    Point taken good sir. I am lucky to have a haid of hair like a magic forest that can absorb about 5 litres of water before I realize its actually raining out, so an apology to the less cranially hairy folk out there. Still though, I bet if you were wearing a bonce protector it wouldnt be a beige panama, and if it was, I bet you wouldnt be blowing kisses at yourself in the mirror when you buy it.
    and as for man-tan. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    Hill Billy wrote:
    Hold yer horses there brother. There's nothing wrong with drinking wine. Just ask Keith Floyd, Peter O'Toole, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed, etc, etc... (Ahem, if half of them weren't dead. :o )

    Fine examples all Brother Hill-Billy and let us not forget that while these men can be accused of wearing make-up it was in a professional capacity only and much of this make-up involved fake blood to be used in production of manly films! This I feel is excusable Brethern.


  • Subscribers Posts: 32,850 ✭✭✭✭5starpool


    r3nu4l wrote:
    Fine examples all Brother Hill-Billy and let us not forget that while these men can be accused of wearing make-up it was in a professional capacity only and much of this make-up involved fake blood to be used in production of manly films! This I feel is excusable Brethern.
    If I had to wear makeup such as that in order to get loads of money for booze, women, gambling and things to waste it on, then I would. I wouldn't much like it, but the ends justifies the means here.

    I still can't really concur about the winein general, but these guys didn't drink it for the taste, bouquet, or other shíte, but only for the high alcohol content.


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    The best I seen was about 5 years ago, a man getting nails manicured in the Richmond Centre in Derry.

    This wasn't in a beauty salon - as if I'd go there ;) - it was in the public area on the second floor near the escalator.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,661 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    I was in Selfridges in London once and the whole metrosexual atmosphere of the place was so beguiling that it seem almost natural to wander over to the salon in the corner and get my hair and nails done. All they were missing was an astmatic guy on the door claiming to be my daddy.....


  • Registered Users Posts: 720 ✭✭✭3greenrizla's


    Hill Billy wrote:

    the name on that link made me LOL,

    oh & yes more people are catching "the ghey".............. pink shirts, why....?


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    the name on that link made me LOL
    Delighted to be of service.
    pink shirts, why....?
    Hang on a bleedin' minute! Jaysus lads I keep telling you - There's nothing wrong with pink shirts! Granted, a vast majority of blokes can't pull it off; but rest assured - if you're balding, have a paunch & a face that makes babies cry it doesn't really matter what the fcuk you wear.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 78,352 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Hill Billy wrote:
    Hang on a bleedin' minute! Jaysus lads I keep telling you - There's nothing wrong with pink shirts! Granted, a vast majority of blokes can't pull it off; but rest assured - if you're balding, have a paunch & a face that makes babies cry it doesn't really matter what the fcuk you wear.
    Will they fit over your vest though?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 757 ✭✭✭milod


    neacy69 wrote:
    Oh no you may have caught "The Gay" wash yourself down with dettol before its too late....

    Remember lads the dettol MUST be applied with a stiff wire brush to ensure complete removal of 'the Gay'...

    ...useful side effects include a nice beetroot red 'tan' which is infinitely more desirable than Nivea's Oompah-Loompah glow.

    Take care when scrubbing round the tattoos though ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Less of the homophobia there lads.
    Bellies & baldness affect us all. ;)


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