Positive thinking - It is helping

LegacyUser

I have suffered from low self esteem for a long time time now and lack of confidence. I realised recently that the main reason for this is that something happened in my life in the past and I been forever hard and negative on myself. I really was more or less as low as you can go up to last week.

For the past week or so now I have been repeating positive affirmations and trying to steer all my thoughts towards things positive. I't hasn't been incredibly hard either as I know that inside I am a confident and happy person with an optimistic outlook on life. I knew that even when I was in the pits.

The positive thinking has certainly started making me feel better about myself. I am also taking small steps towards small things like going into a shop and buying something while keeping my head in a nice place. I of course went into shops when I was in the dumps but I always walked out feeling bad. This part is difficult as you really have to try hard and stay focused.

Im happy with the way things are going. I would be interested though in finding out if other people have tried this. Perhaps they may have some tips or already positive ppl may have some ideas they use too. I'd like to know how long it will be before I really get better.

Victor

Yes its helps, but sometimes its difficult.

Watch out though for the times when you run out of positive think and you end up in what you perceive as a hole.

LegacyUser

Victor wrote:

Watch out though for the times when you run out of positive think and you end up in what you perceive as a hole.

Can you elaborate on that?

barrett1965

I am not so much a person for positive thinking per se, but I do watch what I think. In other words, I try to stay on the middle ground. Trying not to get too low or too high emotionally. Does this make sense to you?

Here's a book I carry with me:

http://jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/think.htm

LegacyUser

barrett1965 wrote:

I am not so much a person for positive thinking per se, but I do watch what I think. In other words, I try to stay on the middle ground. Trying not to get too low or too high emotionally. Does this make sense to you?

Here's a book I carry with me:

http://jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/think.htm

Thanks for that great link. It has really added intellectual understanding to what I really feel inside.

Ishmael

Good to hear you've found something that works for you. I used to be like that myself not too long ago. The positive outlook is what kept me going as well tbh.

Not so much avoiding the bad thoughts and using self affirmations though, but more tackling the bad thoughts from a different point of view and reasoning them into a positive or even neutral thought and going with that instead.

Dunno, might be of some use to ya!

Keep up the good work and you'll be where you want in no time.

barrett1965

JJJUUUAAAAA wrote:

Thanks for that great link. It has really added intellectual understanding to what I really feel inside.

No problem.

LegacyUser

Ishmael wrote:

Good to hear you've found something that works for you. I used to be like that myself not too long ago. The positive outlook is what kept me going as well tbh.

Not so much avoiding the bad thoughts and using self affirmations though, but more tackling the bad thoughts from a different point of view and reasoning them into a positive or even neutral thought and going with that instead.

Dunno, might be of some use to ya!

Keep up the good work and you'll be where you want in no time.

Yes, my processes have evolved and become better over the last week or so.
I let the negative thought fully formulate and then question it. Usually I have found my negative thoughts have no real grounding with no evidence to back them up so those ones have been quite easy. The ones which I have good reasons for thinking are the most difficult but I have realised you can put a positive spin on most of them. When the negative thought crops up then again I immediately repeat my positive affirmation over and over again. The influence of this affirmation continues to inspire more positive thoughts then.

Actually there are some things that are negative though that are true but I don't need to think them so I just dismiss them and im hoping that by not paying attention to them they will crop up less and less often. I don't want these silly things to be part of my reality. There basically my shortcomings and I can work on them and am going to work on them. I also know that if I do have a go at trying to improve them I will feel much more satisfied in myself for trying.

Did you fing that any things changed in your life because of your change in thinking?

Marksie

JJJUUUAAAAA wrote:

Did you fing that any things changed in your life because of your change in thinking?

Yes, many things. All positive and where negativity happens it gets deflected and turned around.

You very easily end up lookiing at things with new confidence and as if for the first time

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote:

You very easily end up lookiing at things with new confidence and as if for the first time

Yes like a sense of new found wisdom.

The_Scary_Man

Hi OP,

I've had a fair bit of success with positive thinking and positioning over the last couple of years. I don't know how much this will help you but I found expanding my knowledge of how we think and perceive really pushed the positive thinking on because it gave me a wider picture of where the initial 'positive' and 'negative' thoughts originate from.

For me understanding the origin of such thoughts allowed me to make decisions based on what was happening in front of me rather than allowing past patterns to over-ride my contact with the experience.

I tried some other things out too for example I found that negative thoughts for me often were accusatory and external to me i.e. 'How could you mess this up?', 'You're always doing that!'. For me if I internalised the criticism as I thought it and went to 'How could I mess this up?' or 'I'm always doing that!' it took some of the energy out of the thought.

Practising speaking in E-Prime also helps by taking the certainty of the negative thoughts away.

I would recommend Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson and the dvd Maybe Logic also featuring Robert Anton Wilson which gives an excellent overview on E-Prime and Perception.

Hope this helps in some way and good luck taking back control of your life

Marksie

JJJUUUAAAAA wrote:

Yes like a sense of new found wisdom.

Well it very much depends on who you talk to as to whether they think its wisdom or not lol.
But that is immaterial as really its a new found sense of self. No... change that, rediscovering who you are.

It sorts out what is important and what isn't. Veyr much opens opportunites all over thaplace and makes one realsie that no path ever ends, it goes onto different ones, and enables you to consciously choose which one you want to try next.

I was thinking about tis this morning on the train and about suitable analogies about starting down pathways like this. The besat i could think of was if you are faced with a wall of negative emotions you start by picking away at the pebbles, not the boulders. Loosening the pebbles will suddenly cause the boulders to fall at some point(i.e. start small, but watch for a sudden rush).

I am not sure if that is what Victor was talking about, the sudden swamping as any major issues come to the fore.
I guess whether its that or just a "hole", then you take time out to reasses.

But i guess the most important thing is that the thoughts of something are invariably worse than the thing itself.
So, while positive thoughts are good, actions are better. Even if you F8ck it up completely the first time, then you will know not to do it that way again. Being inactive and totally wrapped up in the head is tantamount to withdrawing from the world. and it is too much of an exciting place to do that.

Ishmael

JJJUUUAAAAA wrote:

Actually there are some things that are negative though that are true but I don't need to think them so I just dismiss them and im hoping that by not paying attention to them they will crop up less and less often. I don't want these silly things to be part of my reality.

You could also try writing these thoughts down, I find it's sometimes makes them a bit easier to debunk / realize they're not as important as they seem in your head or even just as a means of expressing your feelings about them.

LegacyUser

'

Ishmael wrote:

You could also try writing these thoughts down, I find it's sometimes makes them a bit easier to debunk / realize they're not as important as they seem in your head or even just as a means of expressing your feelings about them.

I'll try that. It sounds like a good idea.'

CliffHuxtabel

I used to try the whole positive thinking/ affirmation thing when i was feeling down in the dumps. It worked for a short while but i found i couldnt achieve much consistency and my moods would swing back and forth too much. Pretty frustrating.

The best approach i think is to try achieve a level of equanimity about things. I find it isnt a good solution to counter negative emotions with equally acute positive emotions. Youre pretty much gonna end up back were you started.

I read a book on Zen Buddhism and meditation and it totally opened my eyes to the whole concept of personal equanimity. Instead of always pursuing a state of what you might call happiness, you should try and keep a level of coolness towards all situations, negative and positive. I know this may sound kinda cold or whatever but the more you meditate and the longer you see things from a detached, unemotional standpoint then the more your confidence will grow and you notice a real effect in all areas of your life.

Sorry i go on about this but it really did have an effect on how i see things. Its nice to not feel bad about anything