Depressed Retirement

jdpc

Dad recently retired from work after two years of legal fighting with the company he worked for. I am having a terrible time trying to get him involved in anything as his confidence appears shattered. I'm just finished college, sister is doing her leaving cert and mother is working part time - he now generally drinks till late, and gets more depressed, and stays in bed till 1pm-2pm. Last night it hit a high point where I had to talk him out of suicide as he was convinced nobody cared about him. I am gong to try and get him to go back to his psychiatrist and see about cutting down on the alcohol in the house.

I was wondering if anyone has gone done through this before? I am really looking for somthing that will reinvigorate him. Any help would be appreciated.

davyjose

OP, what is your Mother doing about this? I'm assuming that you are in your very early twenties; surely it is the responsibility (in lieu of your dad's current state of mind) of your Mother to be dealing with this. Perhaps this is the crux of the problem. You really do have my sincerest sympathy's at being stuck in the middle of this, but perhaps the problem lies deeper than simply being out of work.
If you are to be involved, and I suppose you are, then I would suggest talking with your Mother, and getting her to help. That's her job - she made the vows; "in sickness and in health" - not yours.

Nevyn

Try and get him to go and talk to his gp.

Henry Ford III

Mother may not be around davyjose.

I'd suggest the op's father talking to his gp or a counsellor. Retirement allows relaxation, but simply doing nothing but drinking will lead to trouble.

Ideally he shoud explore some interests. Doesn't have to be work, although many retiremed people enjoy part time non stressed jobs. It's vital to keep mind and body active - there must be a reason for getting out of bed.

biko

It is not uncommon for people to get depressed when entering retirement. Suddenly they're not a contributing member of society any more. For someone who worked hard all their life it can be a bit of a shock. What's left for them?

Perhaps he has some other hobbies or something you can focus his attention on. Take up golf or similar.

davyjose

Henry Ford III wrote:

Mother may not be around davyjose.

The OP mentioned that the Mother worked Part-time. Perhaps she's not around, but then why not mention it?
OP, is your Mother around?

spurious

From your mention of legal fighting with the company, it sounds like your Dad didn't retire willingly?
Retirement is a big shock to the system, in many cases it is worse for men as many men define themselves in terms of their job. Once it's gone, they think they have no useful role to play. He may need to have a chat with his GP - it won't be the first time the GP has come across it.

There are a number of voluntary groups that would be delighted to have your Dad's advice and experience. I know the hospices in Dublin are always looking for people to give a few hours a week collecting and returning people for their day groups.