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help, need to be in a relationship

  • 08-06-2007 3:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i'm a mess. broke up with my last boyfriend in January, id been with him 18 months. before that, id been single for about 2 months after breaking up with a guy id gone out with for 2 years. before that, 6 months, before that my first boyfriend who id gone out with since i was 17. im 23 now.

    in all of these, the guy ended it. no matter how halfassed i felt about them, i couldnt finish things in case i ended up alone. id kick myself after, cling on to the end and then ask myself why stay with someone i wasnt mad about but i never could get out. they werent abusive relationships or anything just halfhearted.

    i have a great group of friend but still cant cope unless im seeing someone. its been bugging me for a while but i still end up desparately looking for someone to be with and then feeling heartbroken when it ended, rather than be single.

    has anyone been like this and how did you get past it? i cant keep living like this and its starting to really worry me.


Comments

  • #2
    LundiMardi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭LundiMardi


    You need to spend your time doing something else... If you're alone, take up some hobbies to get you out of your house... If you keep your mind occupied it won't call out for a partner because it's too busy focusing on something else. Do this and eventually you'll realise you don't need anyone and that you can survive perfectly well on your own


  • #3
    jdivision
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,260 ✭✭✭jdivision


    A lot of people are afraid of getting to know themselves - I know several. It would be a good idea if you stayed single for a while, it's good for growing up if you get to know yourself and become unafraid of being alone as part of that process. Obviously if you met the right person that might change but don't go out with somebody for the sake of it.


  • #4
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    you know what would be perfect for you is to go travelling for a year, it'll do wonders for your independence - Iw as 26 with a load of failed relationships, went off on my own for a year and it worked wonders. I came home full of confidence and happy in my own company, and more than that - I had confidence in my judgement.

    IF you can't do that, next best thing would be to do something that scares you - join a club where nobody knows you or something like that - just stuff to help you get to know yourself - jdiv is right, it's very important.

    and look, at least you know why you are down, it shows good self-awareness!


  • #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I think you answered your own question there. You cant cope without someone ?You have to learn to cope without someone and when you do , relationships get easier .

    It can be done :)


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