1 night stand was had, What to do now?

LegacyUser

I was trying in vain to get a taxi at the weekend with my mate and around 5 in the morning I bumped into this guy who was unbelievably sexy and he started chatting to us and hung out with for about an hour until we all got a lift now he had been flirting with me but I had never entertained the prospect of bringing him home till he actually said it I just said oh yeah you think your coming home with me yeah we'll see just flirty and mess like but he came home with me I know it was completely mad but he was just so sexy and I could see he had a fabulous body so we went home back to mine, we had sex, slept, talked, even more sex (very good sex mind you) all day till about 4
I gave him a lift as he lived local enough and he asked for my number so I gave it to him

Now it's not something I do often and as good as we were together I was aware the whole time of the feeling that I didn't really know him even though he seemed like a really decent bloke in every way but anyway I wasn't too bothered if he never called me again I had assumed we were just using each other but he texted this morning
to give me his number and also he said in the exact phrase if you’re around at the weekend and you want to hook up give us a shout
(and I did the shameful thing and said to him"oh god I've never done this type if thing before" etc etc)

I assuming he wants a repeat performance or am I just really cynical and he might want a date
Also I haven’t a clue how to phrase a reply my mind is a blank today
Any help would be appreciated?

Femelade

do you like him enough to have a relationship with him, or do you have any interest in him romantically?
If you do genuinely like him then maybe if you are out at the weekend meet up with him, but dont sleep with him, if thats all he's after then he will be gone in a shot..and you will know then.
Try to resist the sex god.

Jrad

How sexy are you on a scale from 1 to 10?

Raskolnikov

uandme123 wrote:

I assuming he wants a repeat performance or am I just really cynical and he might want a date
Also I haven’t a clue how to phrase a reply my mind is a blank today
Any help would be appreciated?

I imagine that the only reason he wants to meet up again is for sex. I wouldn't presume otherwise.

Femmy wrote:

If you do genuinely like him then maybe if you are out at the weekend meet up with him, but dont sleep with him, if thats all he's after then he will be gone in a shot..and you will know then.
Try to resist the sex god.

I disagree.

If you're happy enough to just sleep with the guy then there's no harm in uandme continuing with that. The only danger is that if the original poster develops feelings for the man which he doesn't reciprocrate.

Marksie

Jrad: unhelful, off topic posting will get you benned.
Please take time to read the charter

Jrad

Your honor, that "off topic" question may just contain the information needed to blow this case wide open...........but if you want this innocent victim of a cruel cruel world to go on wondering, forever wondering then go ahead and ban me. For if you do i will live on in the hearts and minds of the good good post writers of this fine forum site!!!

Beruthiel

Banned for a week
B

Femelade

Raskolnikov wrote:

I disagree.

If you're happy enough to just sleep with the guy then there's no harm in uandme continuing with that. The only danger is that if the original poster develops feelings for the man which he doesn't reciprocrate.

I was talking in terms of if she ISNT happy enough to just sleep with him, which is why i said if she does genuinely like the guy..not to sleep with him.

hermit

Jrad wrote:

Your honor, that "off topic" question may just contain the information needed to blow this case wide open...........but if you want this innocent victim of a cruel cruel world to go on wondering, forever wondering then go ahead and ban me. For if you do i will live on in the hearts and minds of the good good post writers of this fine forum site!!!

That could be the nail in your boards coffin.....

imeatingchips

Jrad wrote:

Your honor, that "off topic" question may just contain the information needed to blow this case wide open...........but if you want this innocent victim of a cruel cruel world to go on wondering, forever wondering then go ahead and ban me. For if you do i will live on in the hearts and minds of the good good post writers of this fine forum site!!!

I agree - VERY wise question mr jrad. I'm impressed.

imeatingchips

For those who don;t see the correlation - if she's an ugly bint it's extremely likely that he's in it for some dirty lovin. If she's all nice n sexy he might be thinking longer term.

once again, good question mr jrad.

biko

Femmy & Raskolnikov are spot on I think.

If you want a relationship, then you need to find out if he is still interested after not getting any. If you're happy just shagging, then by all means do (and protect yourself).

If he was me, which it is not, then I'd be happy getting a shag around the weekends with someone who thinks I'm a sex god*.


*this actually happens, just not with OP

LegacyUser

Ok i see the relevency
I'm not an ugly b*tch
I have a decent figure (36-30-38)and more than my fair share of admirers
Yeah I'm still mulling it over over whether I could ever see my self romantically involved although its not a good time for something like this for me now
and still deciding what exactly to write and also how to decipher his text
hmmm!

Nevyn

imeatingchips and hermit
Comment on a mod action with the forum is off topic posting
the mod shoudl be pmed or a thread started in feedback.

Off topic and unhelpful posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do read the charter and post with in it's guidelines
Have a nice day
Thaedydal.

senordingdong

Sounds like he wants more of the same. But only he can say that for sure, so you should ask him.

Femelade

yeah i think you should just ask the guy.
what have you got to lose..?

davyjose

Well OP, he picked you up at 5am on a street corner, you took him back to YOUR bed, and then he left after a few bouts of the horizontal tango. Unless you have the most uniquely exquisite personality of all time, I reckon you can probably figure this one out alone.

Miss Fluff

uandme123 wrote:

Yeah I'm still mulling it over over whether I could ever see my self romantically involved

Of course you're mulling it over, you should be, you don't know him from Adam. You/He picked the other one up on the street so I wouldn't read into that he wants to marry you or anything. Probably up for another shag so if that's what you want send him a pretty straightforward text back.

ttaylor

did this happen in Dublin ?- i ask because i find myself in the exact same situation. I met this guy when i was waiting for a taxi outside a club at 3am two weeks ago - he has also text me - using the exact same text!!

i hope this is only a coincidence!!!!

MojoMaker

Jebus, where are all the needy chicks when I'm out at 5am?

OP, he wants to bang you again, and perhaps a 3rd or even a 4th time after that. No more no less. Congrats on making the score and just relax and enjoy it now

p~b

If i was you, i would start txting him but dont meet up with him for at least 2 weeks and if he's still txting you at the end of the 2 weeks, he's interested

ttaylor

MojoMaker wrote:

Jebus, where are all the needy chicks when I'm out at 5am?

OP, he wants to bang you again, and perhaps a 3rd or even a 4th time after that. No more no less. Congrats on making the score and just relax and enjoy it now

no - he didn't get it the first or a second time - nearly- but not quite!

LegacyUser

'Well although he was forward in his advances I didn't really think too much about it as it was really just something that happened in the moment and then again all the next day!
I texted and said I didn't know what I was up to yet at the weekend and asked how he was recovering from the weekend, how was work etc

He texted me last night and asked me to let him know when I was free the weekend and asked did I have a good time
I said I did and I didn't really know what else to say to him other than complimenting him on his extremely sexy body and tattoo also
I realised until I have a decent conversation with him I was struggling to even carry on a text conversation I really hadn't a clue what to say
He replied ditto and said he couldn’t wait to have more fun with me
I'm going to see how I get on otherwise I don't want to come across as a complete bitch and accusing him straight off of just wanting one thing
And I suppose no frills fun with a sexy guy would be ok with me until I get bored'

Rb

Marksie wrote:

benned.

Bennings for all!

OP wrote:

And I suppose no frills fun with a sexy guy would be ok with me until I get bored'

Bet you're back here in a month or so posting a thread asking what to do because the guy you're seeing won't reciprocate your feelings for him.

spinandscribble

op, no offence but if all you txt about is sex and how you find his body sexy, its coming off as you only being interested in one thing and the meer fact he's still txting proves he only wants sex.
if thats what you want go ahead but dont delude yourself into thinking anything else

mloc

I'm with davyjose on this one.

If I was in that guys position, I'd currently be of the mindset that "hook up at the weekend" means another few laps around the bed. Whether thats ok or not is up to you.

Having said that, that might be his mindset NOW, if you meet up with him and get to know the guy a bit (e.g. no sex), it might change.

ellenmelon

im of the "you dont know til you try" school of thought with this one. if you had a good time, why not? give him the benefit of the doubt (ie what his motives are) until he proves otherwise. you say that you're not ready right now for something too serious so back off if you feel odd about it. if you want to meet up with him, just be like "ill be in town tomorrow night, give me a txt if you want to meet up" or something casual like.

good luck!

ellenmelon

ellenmelon wrote:

just be like "ill be in town tomorrow night, give me a txt if you want to meet up" or something casual like.

good luck!

yeah i'd go with this:D

Dragan

I'm just gonna echo something was already said.

You picked him up, brought him back to yours and had sex with him. Nothing that you have said he has said to you leads me to believe he wants anything more than sex from you this time to be honest.

He wants to meet up with you because he knows he can have sex with you. Hell, maybe it's even good sex. All you need to do is decide if you want to have sex with him. It's not that complicated. Lets not confuse the issue here.

Firetrap

Yup, I concur with the others. It looks to me like he's hoping for an encore. Because sex came into the equation so early on, it's hard to know if there's a basis there for a "proper" relationship. Down the line, you're in danger of becoming a booty call.

Like someone else suggested, try meeting up with him but don't sleep with him. Anecdotally, I don't know or know of anybody who's got a boyfriend/girlfriend from a one nighter. But if you just want some fun, you're both grown adults. Only problem is, these things don't always end well.

seahorse

uandme123 wrote:

I'm going to see how I get on otherwise I don't want to come across as a complete bitch and accusing him straight off of just wanting one thing

I'm sorry OP, and I'm not trying to come off as a b!tch myself here either, but I really don’t think you're in a position to accuse him of "just wanting one thing", or to take an accusatory tone with him for any reason, full stop; I mean come on, you did pick him up on a street corner at 5am, for Gods sake! :eek:

I think you can safely assume he's just after more of the same here and I don’t think he deserves to be thought or spoken badly of for that, we do teach people how to treat us after all; but if you do decide you want more from this guy than just a bit of sex when it suits him, I think the only possible way to work towards that is to follow the advice of the other posters who suggested you should hold back on the sex front for a while. If he's still interested after a few weeks of that maybe you'd have a chance, but don’t be surprised if he 'loses' your phone number...

spurious

uandme123 wrote:

he couldn’t wait to have more fun with me

Not 'spend some more time', not 'get to know you better'.

There's nothing wrong of course with meeting up with him for sex, as long as you know this is what it is, from the start.

LegacyUser

Have to agree with Spurious there as long as you dont mind that thats all it is.... just sex then go for it....but i was in the exact same situation about a month ago and i found myself actually liking the guy but the only reason we met up was for casual sex nothing more so i had to stop seeing him coz i knew he didnt feel the same way and its crap so i wouldnt get into it unless you can sort of distance yourself from him...if ya know wat i mean!!

LegacyUser

I was out on Friday night and he did ask to meet up and I really couldn’t for work reasons so I said no. I sent him a text on Saturday asking how his night was etc and he invited me to a BBQ his mates were having.
I was confused but then again I though maybe he doesn’t just want me for sex so
I was really nervous about going as I hardly really knew him let alone to get to know all his mates as well but I really fancied him so I went
When I went in he introduced me to his mate’s mother as his girlfriend and I kind of freaked out a bit but then again what exactly would he say to her about me!

His friends were lovely there was about 10 of his closest mates which included two couple. The girls were lovely to me I have to say it was one of the best night‘s I’ve had in a long while, they did think how we met was funny though!
I spoke to him and his friends for hours (the nerves were forgotten) and there was singing later on as well. We got a bit tipsy which led to kissing which led back to mine and as I felt a lot more comfortable with him the sex was incredible we stayed in bed well late today
I’m still going to see how things go as I don’t want to get into anything too heavy as of yet!
So anyone anymore opinions on this?

Marksie

uandme123 wrote:

I’m still going to see how things go as I don’t want to get into anything too heavy as of yet!
So anyone anymore opinions on this?

Do exactly that and enjoy it

ellenmelon

uandme123 wrote:

I was out on Friday night and he did ask to meet up and I really couldn’t for work reasons so I said no. I sent him a text on Saturday asking how his night was etc and he invited me to a BBQ his mates were having.
I was confused but then again I though maybe he doesn’t just want me for sex so
I was really nervous about going as I hardly really knew him let alone to get to know all his mates as well but I really fancied him so I went
When I went in he introduced me to his mate’s mother as his girlfriend and I kind of freaked out a bit but then again what exactly would he say to her about me!

His friends were lovely there was about 10 of his closest mates which included two couple. The girls were lovely to me I have to say it was one of the best night‘s I’ve had in a long while, they did think how we met was funny though!
I spoke to him and his friends for hours (the nerves were forgotten) and there was singing later on as well. We got a bit tipsy which led to kissing which led back to mine and as I felt a lot more comfortable with him the sex was incredible we stayed in bed well late today
I’m still going to see how things go as I don’t want to get into anything too heavy as of yet!
So anyone anymore opinions on this?

not wanting to get your hopes up but id say meeting the mum and the friends is a pretty good sign missus you're on the right track id say with wanting to keep things as chilled as possible. im really pleased that things are working out for you! (i live vicariously sometimes)

davyjose

uandme123 wrote:

I was out on Friday night and he did ask to meet up and I really couldn’t for work reasons so I said no. I sent him a text on Saturday asking how his night was etc and he invited me to a BBQ his mates were having.
I was confused but then again I though maybe he doesn’t just want me for sex so
I was really nervous about going as I hardly really knew him let alone to get to know all his mates as well but I really fancied him so I went
When I went in he introduced me to his mate’s mother as his girlfriend and I kind of freaked out a bit but then again what exactly would he say to her about me!

His friends were lovely there was about 10 of his closest mates which included two couple. The girls were lovely to me I have to say it was one of the best night‘s I’ve had in a long while, they did think how we met was funny though!
I spoke to him and his friends for hours (the nerves were forgotten) and there was singing later on as well. We got a bit tipsy which led to kissing which led back to mine and as I felt a lot more comfortable with him the sex was incredible we stayed in bed well late today
I’m still going to see how things go as I don’t want to get into anything too heavy as of yet!
So anyone anymore opinions on this?

well I have to say, I wasn't expecting that. It's certainly looking good. Good luck OP

Femelade

well he sounds like a nice guy, introducing you to all his friends was a very nice thing to do and hardly something someone would do for the sake of some sex.
Hope things go well with him.
Any plans made to meet up again?

LegacyUser

I last seen him yesterday so i'd say he'll text me later on
I'll keep you updated
I'm still going to be fairly cautious though!

LegacyUser

I think it's too early to say if this is going anywhere.

It could still be just 'a booty call' ; a bit of NSA.

So ... is there any toime that U have seen him that
didn't involve 'rumpy pumpy' ?

seahorse

uandme123 wrote:

I last seen him yesterday so i'd say he'll text me later on
I'll keep you updated
I'm still going to be fairly cautious though!

Wow! Well this barbeque business I wasnt expecting to hear to be honest uandme123! He sounds like a lovely bloke and not at all judgemental like a lot of men would be in this situation (not that they'd have any bloody right to be judgemental, but some men do have that attitude that casual sex is a mans priviledge, not a womans, and you'd really have to wonder about that, because if it's a man priviledge alone who are they going to be sharing this casual sex with, unless they're all gay!:rolleyes: )

The only thing I'm curious or mildly concerned about here is why and how his friends were told how you met? Were you there when they were first told and were you ok with that? I dont think I'd like to arrive along to the barbeque and find that everyone knew my business; but I'm getting the impression he's not that sort of bloke and that you probably told them told together with a few drinks on you for the laugh of it. Just being nosy here, but am I right in thinking that?

LegacyUser

He just told his friends we met outside the station while trying to get a taxi and got talking I was chatting to the girls about it saying how weird it was.

I mean I do have a worry in the back of my mind that he might be a bit of a player but then again the way I met him would make me think that but nothing so far has confirmed my suspicions.

K-9

uandme123 wrote:

When I went in he introduced me to his mate’s mother as his girlfriend and I kind of freaked out a bit but then again what exactly would he say to her about me!

The mate's mother as a GF or his GF? WTF? Confused?

uandme wrote:

The girls were lovely to me I have to say it was one of the best night‘s I’ve had in a long while, they did think how we met was funny though!
I spoke to him and his friends for hours (the nerves were forgotten) and there was singing later on as well. We got a bit tipsy which led to kissing which led back to mine and as I felt a lot more comfortable with him the sex was incredible we stayed in bed well late today
I’m still going to see how things go as I don’t want to get into anything too heavy as of yet!
So anyone anymore opinions on this?

seahorse wrote:

The only thing I'm curious or mildly concerned about here is why and how his friends were told how you met? Were you there when they were first told and were you ok with that? I dont think I'd like to arrive along to the barbeque and find that everyone knew my business; but I'm getting the impression he's not that sort of bloke and that you probably told them told together with a few drinks on you for the laugh of it. Just being nosy here, but am I right in thinking that?

Who told the gf's?

Don't get into anything too heavy? Well you've slept with him twice after 2 meetings! That's ok if you are ok with it.

uandme123 wrote:

He just told his friends we met outside the station while trying to get a taxi and got talking I was chatting to the girls about it saying how weird it was.

I mean I do have a worry in the back of my mind that he might be a bit of a player but then again the way I met him would make me think that but nothing so far has confirmed my suspicions.

You have no reason to doubt thats how they know and you have no reason to believe that he didn't tell the whole story, especially if he might be a player.

seahorse

uandme123 wrote:

He just told his friends we met outside the station while trying to get a taxi and got talking I was chatting to the girls about it saying how weird it was.

I mean I do have a worry in the back of my mind that he might be a bit of a player but then again the way I met him would make me think that but nothing so far has confirmed my suspicions.

Better off to go with the flow so and give him the benefit of the doubt, after all, it wouldnt be nice if you found out he was harbouring nasty thoughts about you over the way you met! Good luck with it.:)

kittenkiller

uandme123 wrote:

...When I went in he introduced me to his mate’s mother as his girlfriend and I kind of freaked out a bit but then again what exactly would he say to her about me!

His friends were lovely there was about 10 of his closest mates which included two couple. The girls were lovely to me I have to say it was one of the best night‘s I’ve had in a long while, they did think how we met was funny though!...

Awwwwww!!!!

You loooooooove him!!!

Damn these hormones!

Can I come to the wedding?