Living with manic depression

LegacyUser

Long story short.

Been with my g/f two years, living together for 18 months. Since the beginning I have been aware that she was diagnosed and being treated for maniac depression. It's a rotten name for a condition but it is what it is.

I (and I thought she) always found the lows easier to deal with. The highs caused the major troubles.
It seemed like she lost touch with reality, normal standards were for other peopl. It is causing major chaos with her job, with her family and with me. After each episode would surely come the remorse and self loathing, then we would pick up and continue.

The last time when I get home her stuff has been cleared out, that's happened before. Next thing I hear she is in New Zealand.

Thing is I was very happy with her, she would'nt be everybodies ideal person but I feel really protective of her. I know she is going to try getting in touch again I really don't know whether to entertain her or not, I feel like I am going crazy.

Drag00n79

Restan wrote:

... and being treated for maniac depression. It's a rotten name for a condition but it is what it is.

It's manic depression.

jesus_thats_gre

Shamrok wrote:

It's manic depression.

Terrible I know but I near pissed myself.

Victor

Do you have anyone to support you?

Do you want to talk to someone in a group like Aware that has other experience and might make your job a little easier?

Aware
bipolar disorder (manic depression)

Libertine07

Has she been seeing a psychiatrist regularly and is she taking any medication?

My mother has manic depression so I completely understand how difficult it is to live with. When I was younger she had a lot of highs and lows and was hospitalised a few times. She was delusional, irrational, aggressive and very self centred. Throughout this time she was seeing various psychiatrists, none of whom were working for her. Thankfully after her last time in hospital (12 years ago) she was referred to a psychiatrist who was right for her, and she still sees him once every two months. She's on medication, the dosage of which has been lowered a lot over the years, she takes very little now.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that although there are some incredibly difficult times, there is light at the end of the tunnel. When my mum finally got the proper treatment the change was unbelievable, she was like a new person. Manic depression can be managed, so if you really are as crazy about this girl as you say then maybe you should help her to seek the right support. My dad found it difficult as my mum always insisted there was nothing wrong with her, but he got there in the end. These days she never has any 'incidents', she very rarely has a row with anyone (beforehand she'd fight with at least one person every day). She's still the same person but without the depression dragging her down. She can be a little eccentric at times but so can a lot of people!

It is a massive commitment though, so just be sure its what you want, and go in with your eyes open. Good luck

louisecm

Is she taking her medication? My mother is manic depressive and she lives a perfectly normal life as she takes her medication consistently. As was said by Libertine - there is a light at the end of the tunnel. She can come through this if she is committed to treatment and taking her medication, but the journey is not easy.

Pigman II

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

Terrible I know but I near pissed myself.

Same here. Funniest thing I've ever read on boards

Nevyn

unhepful and off topic posts will get you banned from this forum
do take the time to read the charter.
Thaedydal.

Nevyn

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/bipolarmanicdepression.aspx

What is Bipolar Affective Disorder?

Bipolar disorder used to be called ‘manic depression’. As the name suggests, it is characterised by mood swings – or episodes - that are far beyond what most people experience in their lives. These are:



Low – feelings of intense depression and despair – ‘depressive’.

High – feelings of elation - 'manic'.

Mixed – for example, depressed mood with the restlessness and

overactivity of a manic episode.



People usually experience both depressive and manic episodes, but some will have only manic episodes.


How common is bipolar disorder?

It affects about 1 in every 100 adults at some point in their life. It can start at any time during or after the teenage years, although it is unusual for it to start after the age of 40. Men and women are affected equally.


What types are there?
Bipolar I

There has been at least one high, or manic episode (see below), which has lasted for longer than one week. Some people will have only manic episodes, although most will also have depressive ones, whilst others will have more depressive episodes than manic ones.

Untreated manic episodes generally last three to six months, depressive episodes rather longer - six to 12 months without treatment.
Bipolar II

There has been more than one episode of major depression, but only mild manic episodes – these are referred to as ‘hypomania’.
Rapid cycling

There are more than 4 mood swings in a 12 month period. This affects around 1 in 10 people with Bipolar Disorder and can happen with both types I and II.
Cyclothymia

The mood swings are not as severe as those in full bipolar disorder, but may continue for longer. This can, sometimes, develop into full bipolar disorder.


What causes bipolar disorder?

We don't have a complete answer to this, but:

* research suggests that it runs in families - it seems to have more to do with genes than with upbringing.
* there seems to be a physical problem with the brain systems which control our moods - this is why the symptoms of bipolar disorder can often be controlled with medication.
* episodes of illness can sometimes be brought on by stressful experiences or physical illness.


What does it feel like?
Depression

The feeling of depression is something we all experience from time to time. It can even help us to recognise and deal with problems in our lives.



But

for someone with clinical depression or bipolar disorder, their depressive feelings will be worse, they will go on for longer and they will make it harder to tackle the daily tasks and problems of living. Someone with this sort of depression is more likely to have the physical symptoms listed below. If you develop a depressive episode, you will have many of these symptoms:



Emotions

* feelings of unhappiness that don't go away;
* losing interest in things;
* being unable to enjoy things;
* feeling restless and agitated;
* losing self-confidence;
* feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless;
* feeling more irritable than usual;
* thinking of suicide.



Thinking

* finding it hard to make even simple decisions;
* difficulty in concentrating.



Physical

* losing appetite and weight;
* difficulty in getting to sleep;
* waking earlier than usual;
* feeling utterly tired;
* constipation;
* going off sex.



Behaviour

* difficulty in starting or completing tasks;
* crying a lot – or feeling like you want to cry, but not being able to;
* avoiding contact with other people.



If you become depressed you will find that you aren't able to do your job or your normal daily tasks properly. It will become harder and harder to think positively about things, and to see a hopeful future for yourself.



You may feel like bursting into tears for no reason. You may find it harder and harder to be with other people. In fact, they may notice that you are not yourself well before you have realised there is something wrong.


Mania

Mania is an exaggeration of feelings that we all experience from time to time. It is the opposite of depression - a feeling of well-being, energy and optimism. Surely this can't be a problem? Well, actually it can.



These feelings can be so intense that you can lose contact with reality. When this happens, you may find yourself believing strange things about yourself, making bad judgements, and behaving in embarrassing, harmful - and sometimes even dangerous ways.



Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with life in an effective way. A period of mania can, if untreated, destroy your relationships and work. When it isn't so extreme, the word 'hypomania' is used to describe it. In an episode of mania, you may notice the following changes:



Emotional

* very happy and excited;
* irritated with other people who don't share your optimistic outlook;
* you feel more important than usual.



Thinking

* full of new and exciting ideas;
* moving quickly from one idea to another;
* that you are hearing voices that other people can't hear.



Physical

* full of energy;
* unable or unwilling to sleep;
* increased interest in sex.



Behaviour

* making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic;
* very active and moving very quickly;
* behaving in a bizarre way;
* speaking very quickly - if your mood is very high, it can be difficult for other people to understand what you are talking about;
* making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences;
* recklessly spending your money;
* becoming over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people;
* less inhibited in your general behaviour.



If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time you may not realise that there is anything wrong – it will be your friends, family or colleagues. You may feel quite insulted if someone tries to point this out - you may well feel better than you ever have done before. The problem with feeling like this is that it increasingly detaches you from day-to-day reality. And when you have recovered from one of these episodes, you will often regret the things that you said and did while you were high.


Psychotic Symptoms

If an episode of mania or depression becomes very severe, your experiences may become so intense that you – in effect - lose contact with reality. These are called psychotic symptoms. If you are in a manic episode, these will tend to be grandiose beliefs about yourself - that you are on an important mission or that you have special powers. If you are depressed - that you are uniquely guilty, that you are worse than anybody else or even that you don't exist. As well as these unusual beliefs, you might experience hallucinations - when you hear, smell, feel or see something, but there isn't anything (or anybody) there to account for it.


Between episodes

It used to be thought that, between episodes of depression and mania, people with bipolar disorder go back to normal. While this may be true for some, we now know that this is not the case for many people with bipolar disorder. They continue to experience low levels of depressive symptoms and mild problems in thinking even when they appear, to other people, to be ‘back to normal’.


Treatments

There are things you can do yourself to control mood swings so that they stop short of becoming full-blown episodes of mania or depression. These are mentioned below, but medication is still often needed to:



* keep your mood stable (prophylaxis);
* treat a manic or depressive episode.

LegacyUser

Never knew a spelling mistake could be so funny, I am a bit freaked out so did'nt spell check

Thanks for the rest of your replies, it's helps

Marksie

Restan wrote:

I know she is going to try getting in touch again I really don't know whether to entertain her or not, I feel like I am going crazy.

Well, i guess you know thath if she continues in this format ultimately you will not be able to cope.

One of the things you will have to establish is whether or not the treatment is helping
if it is, and now you have resources at hadn to inform yourself, then it is potentially much more positive for you

LegacyUser

'

Libertine07 wrote:

Has she been seeing a psychiatrist regularly and is she taking any medication?

............. she was referred to a psychiatrist who was right for her, and she still sees him once every two months. She's on medication, the dosage of which has been lowered a lot over the years, she takes very little now.

She does have a psychiatrist who she sees regularly. She takes Lithium, which I am told is the standard treatment. I have noticed that will she feels in control of the relationship with the psychiatrist he periodically refers her to counsellors. Typically she will go once, denounce that counsellor as rubbish. I think that doctor shopping is at the root of her issue'

Libertine07

Restan wrote:

'
Typically she will go once, denounce that counsellor as rubbish. I think that doctor shopping is at the root of her issue'

My mum used to do the same thing, she'd take a dislike to almost everyone doctor she saw. Its worth trying several doctors, as its so important to get someone she feels she can trust. Now its possible that she's in the frame of mind where she just won't face up to it and doesn't want to see anyone at all, but I'm sure that attitude will change if she finds a doctor she does click with.

Lithium is my mum's medication too, it works for her and she lives a pretty normal life.

LegacyUser

'Restan, I hope everything works out for you with your gf coz ultimately if you really care for her you will stick with her through the good times and the bad. I know what it's like to live with someone who has manic depression and it can be tough going but at the end of the day if that person is family you don't just give up on them.'

Victor

Restan wrote:

'She does have a psychiatrist who she sees regularly. She takes Lithium, which I am told is the standard treatment. I have noticed that will she feels in control of the relationship with the psychiatrist he periodically refers her to counsellors. Typically she will go once, denounce that counsellor as rubbish. I think that doctor shopping is at the root of her issue'

I don't think counselling isn't something you do "once in a while". Its a regular programme over a to-be-determined period of time. It gives a source of stability, some sort of structure, a regular venting and sounding point. I suppose the ultimate aim is to end up with a client who is at ease with themselves.

That said, some people find opening up to be difficult, whether to a relative stranger or not. Personally, I can be much more open to a stranger than say family, as there are fewer repercussions. Maybe your girlfriend is different.