What to do??

LegacyUser

Hey all, I'm having a really frustrating problem with.....suprise, suprise, a girl. Don't know where to start on this exactly as it is a bit of a mess. Sorry about the length but I've shortened it as much as I can.

Eh, right I'll start off with these girls me and my buddies know that we count as good enough friends but not to the point of where they're exactly "one of the gang" Anywho there was one girl in particular we got on with the best and some of us took a liking to her. Being lads and all, it soon turned to a race to see who could get with her first and one of my best friends won. It was a sort of on / off thing between them for a couple weekends but my friend muddled that up by hanging around us more than her in the pub (since that was when we mostly met them on weekends) and drifted apart in the love department but still remained friends.

Anyways, her and I became great friends the following couple of months to the point where,*groan*, I was swooning about her. Everybody thinking we'd end up together and the mad flirting didn't exactly help. She used to say all sorts of bad things about my friend that I'd pass off except the things like "Well, at least you're better looking than him!" which I revelled in. We got close to the point where I told her something very personal (not "weird" personal) I never told anyone before, not even my buddies, stupidly fully believing we'd get together anyways. Then, one weekend I came home for the summer after being away for 4 weeks from the lads cuz of college exams. That night was gonna be a big one, my friend's 21st, I was back home, and I had enough of the flirting bòllocks so I decided I'd make a move. For the good half of that night it was the same ol' craìc between me and her but before I got to do anything my friend and her got together again. Naturally I was shattered but it wasn't until I found out later that night that she actually wanted to get back with him for months yada yada yada. I walked home that night after the pub refusing to go up to a mate's free gaff using some bull story but the simple reason was I didn't want to look at the two of them together. I walked home through the park feeling like a used piece of shìt punching all sorts of things, spitting posion, etc, until I got a text from one of my friends who actually bothered to notice what happen and told me "not to give a shìt over a bitch like that!" which made me calm down a slight bit.

So, 5 months months passed since that night and she never once texted me(which we always did), spoke to me, nothing. As if she was finished with me......she had her fun with me. I didn't really care to be honest, cuz during that time I realised that was she was actually using me to get back at my best friend but at the same time hanging around me to keep the hope alive she would get back with him. When that did happen she pretty much said Fùck Off to our friendship. As you can probably imagine I felt like a gimp and everybody knew of this which added further humiliation. Anyways, back in September she started showing up to the pub again with the girls but I never gave her the time of day. Then not long after, she showed up at my 21st with a delightful present, her new found boyfriend from college. I tried not to pass heed but honestly it bugged me that she knew how she treated me but she still had the cheek to show up like that.

So, as the months go by and we're at a few weeks ago and slowly I start talking to her again but still never giving her an electron of respect after how she played me around. Eventually she went back to acting the same way towards me the way she used to before all that happened which honestly made me sick to the core and would just end up spoiling my night cuz I'd end up mentally being in a bad mood (ya' know, you get in a bad mood but you don't let on to anyone) Long story short, history repeated itself and she got back with my friend again for what she asked for: "a no stings attached one-nighter" only this time I wasn't swooning over her so I managed to keep enough of a distance not to fall into the same trap.

Ye may find this a case of puppy love gone sour but I my problem isn't her getting with my friend or anyone at all but the fact she keeps trying to treat me like a lovelorn fool. Since this experience I find it very hard to trust any girls that I don't already know and now I carry this over-the-top "I'm nobody's bitch!" attitude which some people find strange since I'm regarded as the loopy funny guy or the guy most people put their trust into. That being said though, I'm beginning to lose that tendancy but it still shouldn't be there as I'm the type of person who'll always talk to everyone in the room and do anything for anyone no questions asked. I'd like to think I'm handling decently enough given the scenario and considering I've gone through some shìtty years in my life this shouldn't faze me much but it does. I'd just like to hear any advice anyone would like to give, thanks.

Sorry about the Ulysess-type length.

spinandscribble

dont know what to tell you except have a clear idea of someones intentions before falling for them. believe me i know what its like to lose trust but you just have to take a chance next time a girl comes along that you like.

horgan_p

OP : sorry to tell you but you appear to have been used as a "crutch" for this girl , or a means for her to keep an eye on the guy she really wanted to be with. hate sayin it to ya , but there it is.

put it down to experience and move on, sorry but you're better off. i know you dont see it that way , i didnt when i was in the same boat.

CrazyTalk

Horribly familiar situation. I feel for you man, although in your shoes, I'd shun her completely, it's the least she (probably) deserves.

pbsuxok1znja4r

If I were you I wouldn't acknowledge her existence from this point on. Don't talk to her. At all.

estar

your obviously an articulate guy, a trait which girls like.

i wouldnt feel jealous of any guy that this girl goes out with
as she is obviously a dose.

count your lucky stars and start broadening the group
horizon

its always good to vary who you mix with to a certain extent

as it is easier to escape situations like this.

everyone in the world gets made a fool of in love at one stage or
another, you are most definitely not the only one

i doubt very much that any of your friends ever even think
of times she flirted with you any more. Its just because its
important to you that you still feel the humiliation sting.

you should just completely give her the cold shoulder
when you meet, and dont ever let her know she hurt you.

the best thing to do in these situations is try really hard to stay
nice and as you were before someone messed you about.

that means you win.

Caliden

She sounds bat**** insane and another one of these girls who play mindgames. I wouldn't give her the time of day. I would go so far as acting rather cold towards her if she tries engage you in conversation and look towards getting yourself a lady of your own.

She will soon get the message that her games don't work on your anymore as it seems like she is an attention whore, i.e. always wanting to have guys after her only to reject them horribly like she did to you.

Best of luck mate