Leaving partner to go travelling for a while

LegacyUser

I'm in a steady long time relationship with a girl. However, I want to go travelling around south america for a few months - perhaps two or three but not much longer. Thing is, I want to go alone, partially becasue I know my girlfriend wouldn't enjoy backpacking and partly because she wouldn't be able to get the time off work. Is this unreasonable. I'm pretty sure she'll be worried I'll do the dirty - I would be worried about her myself but I figure we should trust each other. Oh, we live together, happily I have to say. I really want to do this beforew I get any older but I don't want to irreprably damage things.

Is this an unbelieveable selfish thing to do? Or not, I'm really not sure myself and I want a second opinion before I mention it....

aria-bella

Dont think it is selfish at all OP

Am planning on doing same myself. Mr Bella is not into the backpacking thing and happily acknowledges that after a wk he would be booking into the nearest 5*
So although he is not overjoyed at the thought and there are conversations of reassurance you will need to have prior to leaving.. There is nothing wrong with doing 2/3 months .. Longer than that i think is too much to ask in a L/T relationship.

Glowing

If she decided she wanted to go, would you be happy to go with her? Or is this something you've decided to do on your own?

I don't think its selfish, I just thinks its strange that even while happy in the relationship, you don't want her to come with you ... or am I wrong?

seamus

I only think it's unreasonable if she *wants* to come with you and you don't want her to.

If you want to go, but she doesn't, then it's perfectly fine for you to go IMO.

Relatively short periods of being far away from each other are very tough, but can really add cement to good relationships.

My SO is absolutely not into the backpacking/camping thing in the slightest, although I could do it if I was inclined. I've a couple of mates who do a lot of travelling and she's mentioned a few times that she wouldn't object to me heading off without her (so long as it wasn't for ages).

ladylorenzo

OP, it's not selfish at all. I was in your exact situation last October (living happily together etc) and i headed off travelling for three months to SE Asia and Oz...I wanted to do it on my own because I needed the freedom to learn new things and experience new places. I always reassured my Boyf that if we made it through my absence, we'd be the stronger for it and if not, then it just wasnt meant to be. If you dont go because of her, then you will end up bearing a grudge and maybe end up breaking up over that so you just need to do what you gotta do, enjoy the experience and if you come back loving your GF more than ever, then you'll both know that it's for keeps! LL

masseyno9

If there is a need for compromise, why not arrange a week or 10 days together in a nice hotel somewhere. You could do with a break from the hectic backpacking (i hear its very tiring in s. america) and it would be nice for her to come see you. You could (roughly) plan your backpacking to be in X place at X time and meet her there.

Just an idea....i think she'd be a lot more welcoming to the fact she could 'share' your experience (kinda!)

Timmy_d

Hi guys just noticed a few of ye have travelled on yer own,im mad to do it 3 mths would be enough,did ye find it easy to meet people

LegacyUser

'Well, if she wanted to come with me I'd be for it. I assume she doesn't though - we did a bit of backpacking before and she didn't like it one bit. I wouldn't encourage her to stay behind but I'd prefer for a number of reasons to do it myself.'

~nop~

Hey I don't think it is selfish at all, in fact it sounds like you'll have an amazing time.

Just one suggestion though - maybe decide exactly how long you will be away for so that there is a set date for you coming back. It would probably make it a lot easier on your girlfriend to know it would only last a certain amount of time and then you'd be back with her.

Other than that though, enjoy!