Inheritance - Do you expect it?

Dave!

Hey folks,

It's been a while since I've started a thread to generate discussion (and not merely to help me with something! ), so I figured I'd give ye one now.

I was watching a documentary last night, about Las Vegas. It featured an elderly woman who was fond of the oul gambling. She didn't seem short of change, but she said that she's put about $4 million into the casino machines in the last 7 years. The documentary maker (Louis Theroux) was talking to her in her house, and her son was there; he asked both of them about whether they're concerned that she (the woman) was spending the son's inheritance money, since the father was dead. The family didn't seem too bothered about it, but Louis kept pushing at it and he seemed appalled that the son wouldn't have any money coming to him after the mother dies.

It got me thinking about inheritance... The culture in Ireland is to own your house, and when you die, your kids inherit it and sell it off, splitting the money. That's quite different to many European countries where they rent their houses or apartments for life. I believe tenants have alot more rights and landlords more responsibilities in Europe, so it's not straight forward comparing the two situations. It's possible that Europeans save money to give to their kids, I dunno, but I was just wondering what other people's opinions are on inheritance.

Is it something that should be considered a 'bonus' I guess (ie. it's not expected), or is it something that every parent should pass on to their child?

Personally I've never thought about it, or expected it, or felt that I would need it when I'm older. At the moment my brothers mortgage their own house/apartment and have good careers, earning decent salaries. They're not in any financial difficulty at all, and if they continued as they are, they can live a perfectly happy life.

My parents are still working and won't be retiring for about 10 years (that's my father), but I'd like to think that when they do retire, that they wouldn't feel guilty about selling their house, buying a smaller one, and using the difference to do everything they want to, and go anywhere they want to. But they're not going to; they're going to keep the family home, if they can afford it buy something small in Spain, and spend most of their time here (I suppose with the grandkids when they come along). Then when they die (hopefully not for a long time), they're gonna probably pass on the house and we'll all split it.

Now I can understand maybe if someone's children were in some financial difficulty, it would be great to be able to help them out. But when your children all have stable jobs and good prospects, is it really necessary to pass on thousands to them? It's a nice thought, but really, when you're at retirement age, time isn't on your side! You should be living life to its fullest! Do whatever you want! Travel the world! Don't let money get in the way.

Personally I'd love to get money should my parents die, but I would prefer if they would spend it on themselves.

So what do ye think? Is the burden of responsibility on parents?

Ruu_Old

I dunno, I never thought about it much until I was moving to America and my parents told me that the house was going to be mine (probably said to make me stay ). I would rather them spend it on seeing more of the world as you mentioned. The rest of our family are doing very, very well so there is no need unless it is just a case of keeping the house in the family for the name or something else. It would be a bonus here.

St Bill

The way I look at it, our parents give us so much in terms of time and love, anything else thay might give us is a bonus, albeit unnecessary. Big up to parents everywhere!!

rannerap

If i got an inheritance I would view it as more a bonus.its not something i really expect

AlmightyCushion

Well that is why I plotted their murder.

spanner

yes I would agree it is only a bonus but the case of the mother wasting 4 million in the casino of the families fortune which I am sure the husband would not want and if he had that amount would of liked to leave a bit for his children

Manic Moran

It's not really something I think about often, as I'm rather fond of my parents and would like them to live about as long as I do. Of course, won't happen, but I'm allowed keep my head in the sand, no?

Overall, I'll say 'no', it's not an expectation. Would be nice, yes, but I wouldn't expect them to refrain from spending purely on my account. They earned it.

NTM

zuutroy

Yep, I couldn't give a ****e if my Da bought a Bugatti Veyron and rolled it off Howth Head. Its his money, which he deserves to spend as he pleases after working hard for 50 years.

Kojak

Sarannewrap wrote:

If i got an inheritance I would view it as more a bonus.its not something i really expect

That's my thinking on it as well. I wouldn't be expecting it, and tbh, if my parents spent all their money on themselves it wouldn't bother me in the slighest.

They earned the money, so they should be allowed to spend it in any way they want.

IMO, you'd want to be pretty shallow to be expecting to be given an inheritance. OK, there are certain situations where that would be reasonable (i.e. take care of someone for many years), but on the whole, I wouldn't expect to be given an inheritance.

CathyMoran

I know my parents will but I would far rather that they spend it having fun than leaving it to me and my brother, they loved me and took care of me when I was younger and they deserve a good retirement, for me the memories are the only inheritance I need.

spurious

I remember when my grandmother died, I got a cheque for an amount that was almost two year's salary for me at the time. It really was out of the blue for me, I hadn't expected it at all - that said, it was a fantastic thing to get, it allowed me to pay off all my loans and take a great holiday.

As I see it, my parents have done their 'duty' by making sure I and my siblings have all had a good education and a start in life. I certainly do not need any inheritance from them and would have no problem with any money they had going to my siblings who might need it.

I'd prefer if my parents spent it on themselves though.

is_that_so

No expectation at all. I would rather see it all spent on a golden Third Age.

A neighbour of mine ended up in a unseemly squabble over an inheritance. Half his siblings -himself included accepted his father's will, which had left the farm to the youngest son. He had been working it for 10 years and had put time and money into it.

Seth Brundle

I recently saw how people can become greedy when it comes to inheritance. It tore siblings apart when one tried to do things in an illegal manner by trying to dispose of the assets before the will was processed. Given that they had made an oath to the High Court to be an administrator to the estate only made the situation worse.
Nothing like the prospect of money to reveal peoples true colours.

zuutroy wrote:

Yep, I couldn't give a ****e if my Da bought a Bugatti Veyron and rolled it off Howth Head. Its his money, which he deserves to spend as he pleases after working hard for 50 years.

but... but... but the Veyron would be wrecked. He would go to hell for that!

electric69

I want my inheritence! gonna buy me a helicopter i am!

Elessar

I'm an only child and my mam is single. So the house will go to me. No property ladders for me!

Capt'n Midnight

is_that_so wrote:

A neighbour of mine ended up in a unseemly squabble over an inheritance. Half his siblings -himself included accepted his father's will, which had left the farm to the youngest son. He had been working it for 10 years and had put time and money into it.

Thought that all you had to do was put in a clause in the will disinheriting anyone who contested it, to save all that legal stuff.

My problem is too many siblings. Next time I'll be a test tube baby with surragate parantes and get myself adopted and fostered a few times too, lots of parents

John Mason

oh course i expect, me and my brother are already fighting over it because he said he is never going to leave home and i have never lived in the new so iam not entitlted to anything - but on the plus side, i know wahts in the will. my parents are only 52 and 54, so we probably have another 30 years or so to sort it out unless i get my hands on some piano wire!!!!!!!!!!!

sioda

Inheritance can be the ruination of a family. I know my Grandfathers drove my Dads family apart.

As an only child I push my folks to spend all they can while they can never thought it would lead them to up sticks and move to france but hey retirement villa for me

Degsy

An asshole former friend of mine was bragging about how much he was "worth",he had buried both his parents,sold thier house and the family business to arrive at that figure.He also fell out with his brother because it turned out he would geta share of the family business despite never hving worked there.I considered it to be the final icing on the cake when he put the squeeze on his folks for 25 grand so he could buy a second house,his attutude being "they've had thier life,they're both comfortable".

Sangre

Well considering a child can apply to the court to force an inheritance (if left out of a will) then yes I expect it! Well no, not really.

Of course, it all depends on the circumstances of the children/parents/siblings etc.,

is_that_so

From the Citizen's Information website

Children have no absolute right to inherit their parent's estate if the deceased parent has made a valid will. However, if a child considers that he/she has not been adequately provided for, he/she may make an application to court. The child need not be a minor or be dependent in order to use this procedure. The court has to decide if the parent has "failed in his moral duty to make proper provision for the child in accordance with his means". Each case is decided on its merits and the court looks at the situation from the point of view of a "prudent and just" parent. Anyone considering challenging a will on these grounds should get legal opinion before applying to the court.

That said it can get nasty but would you really risk it? Most parents believe that they have a genuine reason for disinheriting someone.

solas

as above.
The thing is both parents don't tend to die at the same time and most situations make provisions for the living spouse.
which my mother hastily spent

Chinafoot

I'd never expect it and I'll be honest and say that I wouldn't have too high an opinion of someone who would expect it.

As far as I'm concerned, my parents supported my sisters and I throughout our childhood, school, college and getting on our feet after graduation. They have done their bit financially and we're all in a very stable position where we don't need to put the hand out to them.

My parents are both in their early 50's and are very comfortable money-wise, and, I'm happy to see, are spending their money on things they want. They'll always be willing to help us should we need it (most parents would) and we'd never take advantage of the situation.

I have no doubt that when they do go whatever money/property they do have will be divided equally among the three of us, but we would never expect them to not enjoy their life and their money out of concern for us when they go.

zilch!! i've already seen the will! - goes to the grandchildren.

PS they are still alive.

Black Swan

I make my own bread. Da made his, so he should enjoy it.

SligoBrewer

Why should i spend money that isnt mine if I don't need it?

cooperguy

A quarter of the people in the poll said they did expect it. Where ar they in this discussion??

Capt'n Midnight

Deleted User wrote:

zilch!! i've already seen the will! - goes to the grandchildren.

PS they are still alive.

The grandchildren are still alive eh ?, you had better brush up on your poisoning if you want to get back to the head of the queue.

Boston

I expect the house.

jester77

I don't expect it and would be disappointed if there was some.
They earned it and should enjoy it and when they do pass on I hope that all they have is a euro to pay for the ferryman.

daveirl

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robinph

I have a horrible feeling that my parents are going to live to a ripe old age and I'll be retiring before they pop their clogs. Hopefully I'll have been able to scrape together enough cash for buying a house before then though.

But I did sign a few papers for them recently where they gave me the power to distribute their assets when they do snuff it and also some other power of attorney or some such if they loose their marbles before then. So I might yet be able to get some money out of them before it would be of no use to me.

Dave!

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Yeh I mentioned that in the OP

"It's possible that Europeans save money to give to their kids, I dunno,"

Red Hand

Nope, I'm expecting nought. Money is only money. When your parents are gone, they're gone forever.

ixoy

I imagine I will get it in the sense that I've got just the one sibling, etc. but I'm certainly not going to expect to have it or plan my life on that basis.

Since I've moved out and my parents have, their quality-of-life has improved. They're able to take that fancy holiday they wouldn't have otherwise or, as they're doing right now, refit the kitchen. More power to them to be able to continue that throughout their days. If there's something left over after that, that's good but I wouldn't want them to hold back.

There's a matter of pride too, I would've thought. Most people want to pave their own way. Admittedly, it's harder in some ways nowdays when it comes to a house (in terms of % of income) but I still want to do it without having to go back to or depend upon them, and I assume most here do.

.. For those who are waiting to inherit their house - are they planning on staying at home into their fifties/sixties waiting for their ever-longer-living parents to drop off or are they looking at the 0% mortgage option of patricide?

[Jackass]

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Were they around 15 when they had you or something?? :eek:

Personanly, I don't expect it, but obviously they will do whatever they want with their money and enjoy as much as life as they can, so if that involves selling the family home and buying smaller etc. fair play, but I suppose I'd imagine the remainder would go to the kids...

I suppose that means I kind of do expect it, but don't expect my parents to hold back on spending or living to ensure an inheritanc is passed on.

But if stuff is left, what else are they going to do with it? Would be nice to keep their legacy in the family I suppose.

sam34

if my folks want to head off to oz/usa/whereever and live the highlife before dying penniless - more power to them. as far as im concerned they did their duty by rearing and educating us. i ended up falling out with a friend who expected an inheritance before his parents demise! basically, parents retired and sold family business. ungrateful child expected the proceeds to be split equally between all the children, with the parents expected to make do with savings and pension plan etc!! said child had even planned what he'd do with the money - pay a good bit off mortgage so he could go working parttime. so, after alifetime of hard work, parents retire and give up their earnings so children can work parttime?eh?? cue one very disgruntled child when he "only" got about 25k as gift from folks. unbelievable

daveirl

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Saruman

No it should not be "expected" however most people get something however small.
My dad had not seen his father since he was a kid and only tracked him down last year finally and he was living in Australia. Unfortunatly he was on deaths door and died a few months later. He did not own a house as he rented but my dad, as his only son inherited the little he had and it paid for the funeral, cost of getting there etc and he had a little left over to play with.

So people tend to get something, even if it is worth very little. It should not be expected and NEVER demanded.

AlmightyCushion

My parents have done more than enough for me over the years. And that's not just financially. I love a boatload of cash as much as the next man but if mum and dad decided to sell the house and all their wordly possesions and go silly for a while then fair play to them but I doubt they would. I do hope they start to spend more of their money enjoying life. At the end of the day I come from a pretty big family, I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers and their are also a few granchildren as well (and by the time my parents go their could be more) so I doubt it would be that much anyways.

brown*eyed*girl

I vote for don't expect it but it would be a great bonus. I'm an only child & my Mam & stepdad have a lovely house worth a LOT more than their mortgage so I'm sure myself & my two kids will be looked after. In saying all that no amount of money will be able to bring them back & they are both the best in the world to me & their two grandkids. They are both still young (51 & 49) thankfully so should be around for ages yet hopefully..

As for myself, I'm 31 & my kids are 14 and nearly 5. When I'm older I could easily sell the house & get somewhere smaller but I hope to stay put & leave a decent lump sum for my two children & their kids (my grandchildren ). Having my kids young means that they might be old when I pass away so I hope to look after them by helping them other ways like minding their kids while they work or babysitting at the weekend or helping them with a deposit for their house. My daughter has already informed me anyway she's never moving out!

Blush_01

Neighbours (related to us) had a feud over the family home when their mother died. She deliberately didn't leave a will, she had had one but destroyed it months before she died. It tore the family apart.

We have a pretty clear idea of how things will go if anything happens to my parents. While I'd prefer they lived forever in the best of health, and they're both only in their late 50s, they don't want to see the same thing happening with us as happened with the above family. It's always been assumed that my brother will get the farm, and I'm not going to argue! I doubt my sister would either. But recently my parents have been vocal about leaving sites to my sister and me. To be honest, leaving the farm to my brother makes sense - he studied agriculture in college, he's always wanted to be a farmer. But with that comes such a huge burden of responsibility - our farm is not only our home (Dad has never lived anywhere else) but it's the homeplace for half my aunts and uncles, and is seen as home for half my cousins too. I'd hate to see it destroyed and broken into three just to placate spoiled brats like us. Likewise, my brother is left with the burden of keeping it together on his own and passing it on. Thanks, but no thanks.

Tar.Aldarion

Middle of five children? I won't be holding out.

azezil

I don't expect anything, I just hope they pay off their bills before they head on to the long good night!

CerebralCortex

St Bill wrote:

The way I look at it, our parents give us so much in terms of time and love, anything else thay might give us is a bonus, albeit unnecessary. Big up to parents everywhere!!

I said no, but the way I see it is that, if I where to have kids, I would treat them as the next iteration of me and my partner and more, so I would do everything in my power to make sure life is as easy and as fulfilling as possible for them.

robinph

Nick wrote:

Were they around 15 when they had you or something?? :eek:

My parents are both retiring next year and I still have a grandparent kicking around in his late 90's who has a good few years left in him yet, he is still more physically active than some of his children, so I think there is a long life left in my folks yet before I get any payout.

Me and my siblings have known what we'd be getting from them in the event of them snuffing it though for a good few years, well in terms of percentage of their worth rather than actual monetary value, but it's only an equal percentage of whatever they didn't get around to spending themselves.

watna

My parents have 5 properties and a very detailed retirement plan. They'll live in three of them (in different countries), sell the other two and then live the dream! They've basically told us not to expect anything.... they want to enjoy themselves. I have absolutely no problems with it.. they worked hard for it and I'd like to think that they won't depart this world for a long time ....so I won't see any of it. They paid enough sending us to school, college etc that we shouldn't expect anything else.

Duggy747

Inheritance personally wouldn't matter to me, suppose it's cuz a lot of times in can leave a nasty taste in the mouth and I've witnessed it growing up. My mother's family have completely shattered over squabbling on who gets what. Grandfather was forced to sign his will with the help of a smug lawyer, my family and I looked after my grandmother in our house for 7 years and found out after her death that my mother wasn't even in the will!!

LundiMardi

Don't expect anything, not a lot to inherit to be honest. My dad has an apartment abroad and my mother lives in a corporation house. So the most i'd get is savings and life assurance stuff, if there is any.

So, not expecting, but it would be nice, god knows i need it!!!

Sleepy

Same as most here. Don't expect anything but know that it's an equal split in the event of anything untimely. Since my mother invested in her third property abroad she's joked that there's 'one for each of us'. Hope she blows the lot before that though. I reckon lots of people are ruined by inheritances and have succesfully debated that the state should inherit everything when a citizen dies.