woman wind (farts!!)

LegacyUser

whenevr i stay in my gf's house i always get wind and cant get a good sleep with her becuz i always feel i have to let loads of farts out so i get a pain in my tummy and hav2go2 the bog2try and see if anything will come but it wont. its just wind and i cant even get farts out when im at the bog. i tink i usually fart quite a bit when i sleep at home because I dont have any1 to hide it from.

any1 else have this problem and what did u do 2 help?

2Scoops

Well, I'm no expert but it sounds like you need to change your diet. That amount of farting is not normal.

DublinWriter

2Scoops wrote:

Well, I'm no expert but it sounds like you need to change your diet. That amount of farting is not normal.

Seconded. Junk eating about 4 hours before bedtime can be a major cause.

'Gassy' drinks and Guinness can also be a factor.

Also, try and get your daily bowel momements timed that you go before hitting the sack.

Canis Lupus

txt speak makes my eyes bleed.

LegacyUser

The state of the post, the grammar and the phrasing is just so unpleasant.

Nordie

It's something you're eating or drinking so make a note on what you've consumed next time it happens and then cut it out of your diet and see if it makes a difference. It happens to me when I drink milk or eat diary products.

DarkJager

It wpuld be some laugh, if you let one ri[ in your GF's bed, only for the misfortune of following through to follow it!!! Christ on a bike, how would you explain that in the morning???

Tails142

yeah I get this problem too... I used to hold them in and get pains in my stomach like you, and then the next morning I would be blasting off the whole drive home lol, now I generally just fart, she complains but I think she secretly likes it, mwahahahaha

o1s1n

DarkJager wrote:

It wpuld be some laugh, if you let one ri[ in your GF's bed, only for the misfortune of following through to follow it!!! Christ on a bike, how would you explain that in the morning???

Yes, a right laugh that would be...


Just fart. She's hardly going to break up with you over it. If she does, well, she'll be hard pressed to find a man who doesn't.

Tyrant^

Better out than in ...

Okie

Tyrant^ wrote:

Better out than in ...

An empty house is better than a bad lodger

John Mason

not really sure what you are saying with all that fancy talk but just fart, thats what blokes do, go and join the the fat guts thread they will teach you how to treat the wimmin

tampopo

Doc told me that eating green vegetables has the effect of causing more than 'normal' gas. Try carrots instead of de cabbage.

TheDriver

And you honestly think she doesn't fart? We're all human and check the diet, probably something small but have to get rid of wind too

Irishpimpdude

TheDriver wrote:

And you honestly think she doesn't fart? We're all human and check the diet, probably something small but have to get rid of wind too

Most girls really dont care lol, some just say eww haha but thats about it... my girlfriend doesnt care and i do it alot :cool:

davyjose

Canis Lupus wrote:

txt speak makes my eyes bleed.

esp cz itz nt evn a txt

I-like-eggs,mmm

tampopo wrote:

Doc told me that eating green vegetables has the effect of causing more than 'normal' gas. Try carrots instead of de cabbage.

Ok, don't cut the green veg as it is so important in the diet. Bad advice from tampopo.

There are lots of reasons as to why you are a farty pants.

1. Not chewing food properly. (It should be mush before you swallow- so try not to inhale your food)

2. Bad combinations of food. (Fruit and Veg eaten together cause gas. Fruit should be eaten before as it is digested quicker or it should be eaten alone as a snack)

3. Maybe you have a food intolerance... could be wheat, dairy, eggs or anything- there are tests to find out (expensive) but you could find out for yourself by seeing how you feel after eating certain foods.

4. Beans. A good way to stop beans giving you gas is to mash them.

5. Yes, Veg. Whole veg can cause gas too, but it's so important. Cut veg up and peel the skin off before you cook it. Also some people can be sensitive to veg thats not cooked so make sure it's cooked. Any food that's cooked, toasted or boiled etc. is easier on the digestive system.

6. Sugar in all shapes and forms. including some sweetners.

7. Sugar mixed with yeast. i.e. eating something sweet with bread that has yeast in it. Eaten together this combination can affect some people.

8. Too much roughage. i.e. whole grains, veg, onions. Maybe your girlfriend feeds you high-fibre food and you're bodies not used to this. A high-fibre diet should be gradually introduced to help prevent sudden onset of wind.

9. Alcohol. (Simplest form of sugar).

10. Swallowing air whilst talking and eating

11. Lack of Friendly Bacteria in the gut- natural yoghurts with probiotics are good ir you can buy probiotics.

12. High Fat content, deep fried foods, animal fats.

13. Spices and spicey food.

14. Eating Late at night... big meals near bedtime are bold

15. Caffeine

16. Anxiety, stress. Eat when you are relaxed and chilled out, not on the run.

17. Drink more Uisce and Exercise regularly. Gently massaging your tummy can help release trapped wind too.

18. Eggs.


So I suppose you could take a look at what you're eating/drinking particularly when you go to her house....

And yeah, after a little while you'll be farting like a trooper around her, she won't care-- My boyfriend farts the most eggiest farts but I still love him:D

Hope this helps

dodgyme

farterstarter wrote:

whenevr i stay in my gf's house i always get wind and cant get a good sleep with her becuz i always feel i have to let loads of farts out so i get a pain in my tummy and hav2go2 the bog2try and see if anything will come but it wont. its just wind and i cant even get farts out when im at the bog. i tink i usually fart quite a bit when i sleep at home because I dont have any1 to hide it from.

any1 else have this problem and what did u do 2 help?

Try eating loads of beans about an hour before going to bed- they always stop it.

maxi-twist

Give her a dutch oven!

Also parecetemol normally give you this "wind" you speak of.

dudara

Cut out the comments regarding the text speak etc.

dudara

Ruthee

peppermint tea and fennel tea can help too..

Hoops1888

farterstarter wrote:

whenevr i stay in my gf's house i always get wind and cant get a good sleep with her becuz i always feel i have to let loads of farts out so i get a pain in my tummy and hav2go2 the bog2try and see if anything will come but it wont. its just wind and i cant even get farts out when im at the bog. i tink i usually fart quite a bit when i sleep at home because I dont have any1 to hide it from.

any1 else have this problem and what did u do 2 help?

Just let them out on her face woman love that kinky stuff!!

Nevyn

Hoops1888 banned for unhelpful posting.

tampopo

I-like-eggs,mmm wrote:

Ok, don't cut the green veg as it is so important in the diet. Bad advice from tampopo.


Hope this helps

I'm only passing on what my doc said to me! If OP wants to cut the gas, then it's good advice imo.

I like your list of things that may cause flatulence. I think I suffer from a variation of 11, the presence of UNfriendly bacteria in the gut. I'd hazard a guess at 10, the swallowing of air...don't gulp down, which I'm prone to do.

Get your GP to refer you to a hospital for a Urea Breath Test to see if anything shows up, maybe they can help you with some drugs for it.

mickoo

Canis Lupus wrote:

txt speak makes my eyes bleed.

SO

Marksie

mickoo
There has already been one warning on off topic posting of this nature.