Relationship issues

LegacyUser

I am in a relationship with a man who puts me down constantly. It may not be every day usual verbal but if anything good ever happens to me, my happiness doesn't last long. I am just so stuck, we live together and every time I break up with him and have he won't leave me alone, manipulates me using the love word and I end up taking him back.

We moved in together 2 months ago and I have just had a miserable time treading on eggshells with him. He has a dog, and when I confronted him calmly then angrily about the hair being everywhere it ended up in him smashing my clothes horse out the back garden and him smashing up a plastic garden chair because he was sick of people telling him about the dog hair.

He has done and said horrible things to me. After that weekend I told him that he made me feel so low, I felt like jumping off a bridge.After that He came back to the house when I was off work on a half day to make sure I didnt drown myself in the bath or something, he also sneered one night about me slitting my wrists. I am so lively and bubbly, he makes me down, and when he does I go way down, but not suicidal, just really sad.

I was meant to be getting a pet I really badly wanted and he 'put his foot down' last night, just before I'm due to collect it and won't allow me to get it because his dog is going to be territorial and piss all over the house. When I said I don't think the dog is going to react that way, we argued and he called me an obnoxious bitch and made me walk home on my own last night from Rathmines to Dublin 7 area. I got home at 1am and then slept on the couch and he got out of bed and said he was putting his foot down and I wasn't getting the pet. I cried and cried and said please, it means the world to me and he said no.

I am pale today and have awful stomach cramps. This is an awful feeling. I rent a 2bed house with him and neither of us can afford the rent on our own. I want to run away all the time. I have no where to go my parents are in the country, too far from work. I have so much going for me in life and he doesn't. I meet beautiful people every day and rarely argue with friends. Me and him are always fighting, always making up.

He wouldnt lend me money for rent when 340 euro was robbed off me last month and made a show of me in the pub after I got robbed because he 'told me to save' and I did'nt. Im 22, I started working a few months ago and I pay my rent and my bills and have great food every week no problem. Just because I did not save. I left the bar in tears and took a loan from friends.

There is always too sides to every story and the reason he got so angry with me really is because I didn't save. Not because I two timed him, or did something really destructive on him, no because I did'nt save.

There are so many horrible things too much to mention.
Do all couples go through these unhealthy patches in their relationships or is this guy just a bully, a jealous unhappy unhealthy person?

Macca07

get out of there, he's slowly killing u! i know u love him and all that but ule never be happy with him

ntlbell

Get out of this relationship as quickly as possible.

Marksie

Notfellin2good wrote:

Do all couples go through these unhealthy patches in their relationships

They have arguments,and disagreements certainly and of varying severity, but this seems to be more than that.
My initial gut feeling is that it is the beginnings of a controlling situation.
You moved in and now he wants to control you, do you down and destroy your self esteem

Notfellin2good wrote:

is this guy just a bully, a jealous unhappy unhealthy person?

Yup, and worse. Based on your post he is juts that and more.

If you want advice: Move out, and do not take him back.

miles teg

That relationship sounds terrible. What exactly are you trying to hold onto?

ntlbell

Notfellin2good wrote:

is this guy just a bully, a jealous unhappy unhealthy person?

That sums it up really.

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote:

My initial gut feeling is that it is the beginnings of a controlling situation.
You moved in and now he wants to control you, do you down and destroy your self esteemQUOTE]

This is true.

I'm worried of this; I don't want to leave him in the lurch, isn't that bad... He can't afford the house on his own and he has a dog so he can't really go anywhere. I feel trapped because of that.

smcelhinney

Hmm..

Best advice I can give, is to start at your end game, and work backwards.

Decide for yourself, what it is you want to do ultimately in life, say for example, you want to be an astronaut. Not a wildly imaginative example, but hear me out.

Decide the steps that you want to (and have to) take to achieve this dream.
* Go to college
* Build a stable family life
* .... whatever

You're bound to find that he'll be a barrier in everything and anything that you ever want to do in your life. Particularly at such a young age, you really need all the help and support that you can get.

Secon bit of best advice I can give, is to ask your friends about it, and BE PREPARED TO LISTEN TO THEM, even if its not what you want to hear.

Your friends know you best. Trust me.

Slow Motion

Do what ever you can to find somewhere else to live, save / borrow the money to move in somewhere else, you need to get away from this guy, from what you said there is a pattern developing here and it will only get worse. Make up you mind to get out of this relationship and stick to it no matter what he says to you, people like this rarely change. Good luck

LegacyUser

miles teg wrote:

That relationship sounds terrible. What exactly are you trying to hold onto?

I dont know! Thanks for your blunt honesty there. God... you know, he really loves me though. He loves me so much, he will rub my feet when I get in and laugh and make jokes, but when hes bad, he brings all the guns out. Hes four years older than me. Im 22, and I dont feel 22. I feel ashamed in myself for not being out having fun and stuck in with him.

What am I holding onto? ...what is he holding on to. Me. He loves me. He says it with entire sincerity, but I just make him so angry.

neuro-praxis

Healthy couples do not go through this nonsense. You cried and cried and begged him to let you have a pet - because it means the world to you? This sounds like a ten year old and her father. Take responsibility for yourself, in your post above you make it sound as though you are a child with no choices. You are in this situation BECAUSE of your choices. You can now get out of it by making better choices in the future.

A part of me wonders if you like things just as they are, and you are posting here just because it's been a particularly bad day. I suspect you have issues with your self-esteem. Maybe you should consider seeing a counsellor and taking some time out to decide what you want with your life and what makes you happy as a single person.

If I were you, I would confide in a friend or relative. Move in with them for a few weeks until you can find somewhere else - get a shared place that you can afford. Cut off contact with this boyfriend and for goodness' sake use your head in future when selecting a partner.

Slow Motion

Notfeelin2good wrote:

He can't afford the house on his own and he has a dog so he can't really go anywhere. I feel trapped because of that.

His problem not yours ! Don't let that be an excuse for staying !

Marksie

Notfeelin2good wrote:

I'm worried of this; I don't want to leave him in the lurch, isn't that bad... He can't afford the house on his own and he has a dog so he can't really go anywhere. I feel trapped because of that.

Why? He is treating you like Sh*te, what do you owe him?

He can't afford the house..tough... he can always rent out for a lodger.
Its his dog, his problem.

Your are trapped only because your let yourself be and i am sure he is very good at convincing you of that too.

Wibbs

I know it may be not what you want to hear and there's a large part of you thinks you can "fix" this. You can't. It will never change.

This "man" is an aggressive bully. A weak coward who takes out his own life frustrations on a woman who can't fight back. I won't say what I would do to a "man" like that if you were my sister or friend. My blood boils TBH

Walk away now. Get out of there. It's not too late. It's never too late. There are good kind men out there who will treat and love you the way you deserve. the way anybody deserves. This "man" is not one of them and he doesn't deserve you.

You will get through this and you will be in a better place, sooner than you think, but only if you leave this loser behind you.

You have support available, even here. Use it and become the person you deserve to be.

I wish you the best.

LegacyUser

smcelhinney wrote:

You're bound to find that he'll be a barrier in everything and anything that you ever want to do in your life. Particularly at such a young age, you really need all the help and support that you can get.
Your friends know you best. Trust me.

Thanks for your excellent advice.

My friends are well use to this and dont think too highly of him much to my unhappiness.

Your right about the barrier though. Whenever anything good happens to me it ends in my self esteem going rocket low because of an argument. I got accepted to night school on Monday and my job are paying for it I was so excited, and here I am, so sad and not able to think or work. I cried so hard last night, so hard out loud, like a child. Its was killing me that I couldn't get the pet and everyone in work knew and were going to ask me, and what was I going to say...etc oh the embarrasment.

r3nu4l

I think everyone else has said what needs to be said but just in case you are in any doubt that they are only a minoroty of like-thinking people I'll repeat it all.

Get out of it now. He is guilty of domestic abuse and violence in the home. He may never have hit you but he has displayed physical violence by smashing things.

Do whatever you can to leave him. I know it sounds dramatic but if you don't have any friends or family nearby then contact a womens refuge shelter and see if they can get you somewhere to stay for a week or so until you can find new accommodation. MAke sure someone else comes with you when you return to move your stuff out as you can be sure he'll either be very nasty or very contrite (please don't leave me honey, I can change, I love you, nothing without you blah, blah, blah). Either way, having a friend with you will keep you strong in your resolve to leave and prevent you getting hurt if he does turn nasty!

This man is an emotional, psychological and physical bully and leaving him may seem hard to do but will be so worth it when you get your life back and realise that you aren't as bad and worthless a person as this dirtbag is making out!


When you leave do the following:
Get all post re-directed*
Change yoiur phone number or have his blocked
If he does contact you, hang up and turn your phone off.
Delete any messages without listening to them
Do not answer any calls from 'hidden' numbers
Contact the gardaí if he persists in contacting you.


*An post will do this for a fee, tell them your situation as the Royal Mail in England send a letter to your old address asking you to confirm. If you don't then all your post continues to be sent there until you get around to changing your address with everyone who sends you mail.

Good luck and don't let him talk you out of it!

Marksie

Notfeelin2good wrote:

What am I holding onto? ...what is he holding on to. Me. He loves me. He says it with entire sincerity, but I just make him so angry.

and that is how abusive relationships are maintained. this he must love me despite what he does.

LegacyUser

neuro-praxis wrote:

A part of me wonders if you like things just as they are, and you are posting here just because it's been a particularly bad day. I suspect you have issues with your self-esteem. Maybe you should consider seeing a counsellor and taking some time out to decide what you want with your life and what makes you happy as a single person.QUOTE]

I am very outgoing, happy person and very successful too, very good things almost always happen to me and I just feel every day that wherever I go, I meet great people and have a general happy outlook on life. I know what I want to do, and I have a life plan. I just posted here because I am too embarrased to talk to friends about it. Its always happening. It gets embarrassing after a while. The reason why I posted here is because Im confused and have no answers, I honestly can't see clearly and I dont know why. This must sound so bad, but why can't I even see this happening? Your right.

Wibbs

Notfeelin2good wrote:

I dont know! Thanks for your blunt honesty there. God... you know, he really loves me though.

NO he doesn't.

He loves me so much,

No he doesn't. You don't lash out like that with someone you love.

he will rub my feet when I get in and laugh and make jokes,

Big deal, frankly. A foot spa from Argos and a "phoenix nights" DVD will do the same for a lot less grief.

but when hes bad, he brings all the guns out.

Typical bully behaviour. He is controlling you by his kind action. Nothing less.

Hes four years older than me. Im 22, and I dont feel 22. I feel ashamed in myself for not being out having fun and stuck in with him.

That's only partly the issue.

What am I holding onto?

I don't know TBH ...

what is he holding on to.

I'll be honest he's holding on to a victim.

Me. He loves me

No he doesn't and more importantly you don't love yourself if you are staying with him.

He says it with entire sincerity,

Actions speak louder than words. It's a trite statement but very true

but I just make him so angry.

Here's the problem. You don't make him angry. He makes him angry. You are actively helping him with your passivity. You are taking this crap and calling it love. This will only get worse. I guarantee that.

This is something I wrote in another thread with my experience. Your statement "I make him so angry" sounded familiar;

me wrote:

As an example from my own past; I went out with a woman(no way I hear you cry), many moons ago. She had been in a succession of abusive relationships and in my innocence I really tried hard to not be like those men. I'm no angel but I think I succeeded as it's not really in my nature. What did surprise me about myself in that situation was that the temptation to mistreat her emotionally was there at times. Far stronger than I had or have ever felt before or since. Thank God for my sake I didn't. I realised that there was an aspect to her character that expected such behaviour and when it wasn't there, she tried to engineer it. Quite subtly too. It was what she had gotten used to. She was in some strange way more comfortable in that role. the role felt right to her and sadly she would rather have been right than happy. We spilt up because that aspect of our relationship was very troubling for me. Subsequently she went out with a succession of men who to varying degrees were emotionally distant/abusive. I know all this because she has told me that I treated her very well, but she did feel she couldn't get out of that rut. She basically admitted that she was suspicious when men treated her well. Very sad really. Lovely woman. A real pity.

Sound familiar? Only you can break this cycle. Only you and you alone. You're young and you can stop this before it's too late and you get seriously abused.

You need to get out of this idea that you don't deserve more. You need to get out of this idea that you're worthless. Until you do him or someone else will keep doing this. Learn from this and leave him and your old attitudes behind.

This is doable.

r3nu4l

Notfeelin2good wrote:

He says it with entire sincerity, but I just make him so angry.

Jeez if you think that you make him angry then you do have self-esteem issues. We all get annoyed every day by little things but we don't go out and punish those we love because they have annoyed us in some way :rolleyes:

He's an adult and if he hasn't learned to control his temper then he needs to. He sounds like a right control freak to me! You DO NOT punish the people you love. Sometimes in the heat of the moment we all say things we regret but we don't deny our loved ones pets, or force them to walk home because they have annoyed us! That's just weird and wrong! He needs professional help with his controlling issues and anger outbursts but you are not the one to give it to him.

LegacyUser

Run like a cheetah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LegacyUser

Thanks to everyone who replied. Your all after helping me think. I am going to look into getting out, check on daft today and talk to friends after work. I dont want to go home.

Im sorry I come across as being insecure but I'm sure I will look back on this and go god, what was i like, but I just can't see whats really going on, its like it hurts, but I dont understand.

Wibbs

Notfeelin2good wrote:

Thanks to everyone who replied. Your all after helping me think. I am going to look into getting out, check on daft today and talk to friends after work. I dont want to go home.

That's the first brave step. Don't think of it as home anymore, think of it as a place you stayed in for a while that doesn't have good memories.

Im sorry I come across as being insecure

Why be sorry. that's more insecurity.

but I'm sure I will look back on this and go god, what was i like,

Yes you will.

but I just can't see whats really going on, its like it hurts, but I dont understand.

From what I can read into it, you are insecure. Clearly No secure person will take that from someone and then go "I" make them angry. It's his choice to be angry, pretty much no matter what you do. Let's say you were living with me(You'd need an even bigger thread ) and you said you were getting a pet. A pet that for arguments sake I was allergic to. We would discuss whether this was good idea or not. If you flew off the handle, going " I want a pet!!!". Would I think you were a bit highly strung? Yes. Would I worry a bit if we were suited? Possibly. Would I throw a hissy fit like a toddler and break stuff? No.

This gives you time to look into yourself and ask why you would put up with this behaviour. Why, just because you feel "loved" you would put up with this. Why it may be difficult for you to see the difference between that kind of "love" and the real thing. Why you would think his anger is your fault.

If you do then you won't go through this again. If you don't then you may find yourself repeating old patterns and even miss out on a man that will treat you right, because it doesn't "feel" right to you.

Good luck with all of this. It's a brave step forward. It's scary, but you are moving forward.

Marksie

Notfeelin2good wrote:

Thanks to everyone who replied. Your all after helping me think. I am going to look into getting out, check on daft today and talk to friends after work. I dont want to go home.

Im sorry I come across as being insecure but I'm sure I will look back on this and go god, what was i like, but I just can't see whats really going on, its like it hurts, but I dont understand.

Good.

If it helps you clear your mind... you are feeling like this at 22.

What would you be like at 32 or 42??

Edit: when you decide to leave, make sure that either he is not there or that you have freinds present to help you pack etc.

The Freeman

get out, if your with someone you should want only the best for them not this, GET OUT NOW!!!

Huggles

Notfellin2good wrote:

I am in a relationship with a man who puts me down constantly. It may not be every day usual verbal but if anything good ever happens to me, my happiness doesn't last long. I am just so stuck, we live together and every time I break up with him and have he won't leave me alone, manipulates me using the love word and I end up taking him back.

We moved in together 2 months ago and I have just had a miserable time treading on eggshells with him. He has a dog, and when I confronted him calmly then angrily about the hair being everywhere it ended up in him smashing my clothes horse out the back garden and him smashing up a plastic garden chair because he was sick of people telling him about the dog hair.

He has done and said horrible things to me. After that weekend I told him that he made me feel so low, I felt like jumping off a bridge.After that He came back to the house when I was off work on a half day to make sure I didnt drown myself in the bath or something, he also sneered one night about me slitting my wrists. I am so lively and bubbly, he makes me down, and when he does I go way down, but not suicidal, just really sad.

I was meant to be getting a pet I really badly wanted and he 'put his foot down' last night, just before I'm due to collect it and won't allow me to get it because his dog is going to be territorial and piss all over the house. When I said I don't think the dog is going to react that way, we argued and he called me an obnoxious bitch and made me walk home on my own last night from Rathmines to Dublin 7 area. I got home at 1am and then slept on the couch and he got out of bed and said he was putting his foot down and I wasn't getting the pet. I cried and cried and said please, it means the world to me and he said no.

I am pale today and have awful stomach cramps. This is an awful feeling. I rent a 2bed house with him and neither of us can afford the rent on our own. I want to run away all the time. I have no where to go my parents are in the country, too far from work. I have so much going for me in life and he doesn't. I meet beautiful people every day and rarely argue with friends. Me and him are always fighting, always making up.

He wouldnt lend me money for rent when 340 euro was robbed off me last month and made a show of me in the pub after I got robbed because he 'told me to save' and I did'nt. Im 22, I started working a few months ago and I pay my rent and my bills and have great food every week no problem. Just because I did not save. I left the bar in tears and took a loan from friends.

There is always too sides to every story and the reason he got so angry with me really is because I didn't save. Not because I two timed him, or did something really destructive on him, no because I did'nt save.

There are so many horrible things too much to mention.
Do all couples go through these unhealthy patches in their relationships or is this guy just a bully, a jealous unhappy unhealthy person?

OMG The man is an absolute monster OP

He is destroying you. Move out of the house someday he is in work, block his number from your phone and do not look back. :eek:

louisecm

Notfeelin2good wrote:

He loves me. He says it with entire sincerity, but I just make him so angry.

Jaysis, this got the alarm bells ringing in my head. Other men will love you, and they will not be aggressive, humiliating and controlling. This guy is abusing you emotionally.

You do not "make him angry", he has ownership of his feelings and is responsible for his actions - not you!

You deserve better than this, you are not at fault here. Leave this relationship before it does any more damage to your self esteem than what has already been done. I know it will be difficult but stick to your guns and you will be much much much better off in the long run. PM me if you need support.

The Freeman

Notfeelin2good wrote:

Thanks to everyone who replied. Your all after helping me think. I am going to look into getting out, check on daft today and talk to friends after work. I dont want to go home.

Im sorry I come across as being insecure but I'm sure I will look back on this and go god, what was i like, but I just can't see whats really going on, its like it hurts, but I dont understand.

NOBODY BLAMES YOU FOR BEING INSECURE YOUR JUST GOING THROUGH A BAD PATCH , WHEN WE ARE FEELING DOWN WE CAN ONLY REMEMBER THE CRAPPY TIMES AND WHEN WE ARE FEELING GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES WE CAN ONLY REMEMBER THE BLISFULL TIMES;)


YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED!:)

karen3212

First I think you should get out.

Make sure he isn't there when you/friends get your stuff and don't tell him where you are going, or that you are going. Borrow the money, from anyone, and rent a room until you find something more permanent.

Seriously then you need to get help, for yourself, build yourself back up, so as that you won't feel bad about leaving,

You will need help, what you've been through already has damaged your self-esteem.

Lots of luck,

LegacyUser

'Please please please get out of that relationship! I really feel for you chicken, but if he`s like this now what do you think he`ll be like in a year or 10 years from now? Worse! You are obviously a very intelligent girl, so you know that you deserve better. You only have one life, don`t waste it with this loser, no matter if he says he loves you while making you so sad. Sleep on someones couch, or take a few days of work to go home. Maybe your parents could lend you a bit of money? And I think you should tell your family and close friends what you just told us, they would want to know!'

LegacyUser

Hello everyone

Last night he didn't come home till 12 and I went to bed and was asleep, we didn't get to talk.

Tonight I am going to end it, walk away, sort out the house etc with him and end this mess. I hope to sit down with him and say its not working out, and that I dont want to be in the relationship anymore. I don't think packing up while he is in work is a good idea, but I met up with my friends last night and told them what had been happening and they offered that we get an apartment together in July. They are great friends, weve known each other for a long time and its brilliant that they want to do this for me, I was going to get a bedsit in town somewhere but this is better, living with my girlfriends who are such beautiful good people.

I just want to thank everybody who encouraged me and advised very well. I feel really confident, not weak. I feel really good about this.

neuro-praxis

Good on you! You are making a smart decision! You will be much happier once all the drama tonight is over. We all hope you'll be very happy in your new home with people who *really* love you.

louisecm

Good for you! I feel very proud of you. Its not going to be easy but you are doing the right thing, and I'm delighted to hear you have such good friends. Best of luck! x

LegacyUser

'Thanks lousiecm and proxasis. Im so nervous, I feel ill my stomachs been in butterflies all day.

I'll be back and let you know how I get on, maybe tomorrow. Thanks guys'

muppetkiller

Just remember you've made your decision now don't let him try to talk you out of it. This will be your finest hour ...you'll look back on this day and feel really proud of yourself
Well done and we await your update.
For the record I think packing up while he is in work IS a good idea. it will mean you mean business and you will be more inclined to follow it through.

AnonoBoy

Go now. Do not let him reason with you or promise you anything. Sleep on friend's couches for a while if you have to until you get yourself a new place. Don't let him influence your decision.

Anyone who would attempt to humiliate the person they supposedly 'love' like that is not worth the hassle and pain that they are dishing out.

At 22 you should be enjoying life as much as possible not stuck with some a*shole who doesn't know how to treat a woman.

OP, if you do try and talk things over with him, please don't let him try and manipulate you into feeling guilty and staying.
If you have any doubts, re-read this thread and remember that moving out ASAP - not "when he gets sorted" - is the only solution.

LegacyUser

'Hey Bluewolf, I have printed off everyones reponses and have been reading them over and over listening to all your words out loud.

He isn't home! I had a drink after work for dutch courage and he rang me angrily, my rent E625 isn't in his account. I took the lodgement receipt from my wallet and read out his acc. number and sort code and told him it was stamped and all, and he hung up, then rang back and then we didn't even say good bye.

So here I am at smelly home...grr... I want to have a bath so I will. I wished he wasn't home and now he's not so I should make the most of the peace.

I'm NOT not breaking up with him! Thanks everybody. You helped me so much, y'know, sometimes when you hear it so much over 3 years from friends you block it out. Sometimes, I get shocked at the diversity of replies from ppl on boards, and thats why I came across earlier as sorry, sorry...I was afraid someone was going to butt in and yell...its your problem or something silly.

I feel like life is going to begin. I'm so excited...I'm not sad at all! Just nervous. This is so sad for him but I am so happy. I feel confident...phew...god butterflies. Ok... bathtime x'

McGinty

Dearr Notfeeling2good

I am so sorry for what you are suffering, as someone who has put up with this **** in the past I can tell you this is not normal, right or fair. Your boyfriend is being cruel for whatever reason, it is not your concern. He has problems and he is taking them out on you and abusing you verbally and emotionally. I say this because I have experienced similar in the past. The men that abused me took away my personal power by demeaning me, not all men are like that but that is not the issue, you are currently with an asshole, however having read your thread I sense you are a strong woman with a lot going for her. Believe it or not you can make it on your own. If you can pay the rent on an apartment you can pay rent for a room. However, the practicalities are probably not the most difficult problem, if/when you leave your boyfriend, he is probably going to continuously beg you back throwing in the old love stuff. Can I share with you that love is an action, not just words, like you I feel for the love words, they were empty and meant nothing, my ex's (including ex husband) used the words but their actions were cruel, forget the words, concentrate on what he does. Deep down you know he is acting out of cruelty not love. If/when you leave him do not engage with any arguements/discussions, etc, these allow him to attempt to change your mind, he needs you to feed off you in order to make him feel big. Talking is a waste of time with men like him, just get out and if he attempts to talk blank him, eventually he will get bored. It is hard but it also works. I wish you the best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

smcelhinney

Fair play..

Extreme courage and bravery.. Check in often, and let us know how you're getting on. If anything, it will encourage people in a similar situation to act accordingly...

You could very well be an inspiration for a lot of people yet.. : )

well done you..

McGinty

I didn't read all the posts when I put up my reply so I'll just say fair play and well done for leaving him and best of luck for the future, you deserve the best.

LegacyUser

I'm just checking in with all of you.

I was just so nervous but its done. Get this, he was so angry at me for being upset over him making me walk home alone and not talking to him over not gettting the pet, he shouted, I dont care about you and I think you should pack your bags. I calmly responded by saying that the reason I have been not talking to you isn't over being obnoxious, its because I've slowly realised over the last while that this isn't working out, nor is it healthy.

And we talked all day, and he has let me leave. He left the house in order to let me pack up and he's not coming back tonight. I'm going to my parents until my friends and I find an apartment.

Its really funny, two good things happened to me right after he left the house and the last few times good things happened too. It may seem stuipid but I think something out there is telling me I made a good move.

So, I'm packed up, not a tear in sight and am looking forward to (...I just took a deeeeep breath ther) my life ahead.

I'll check back in with you guys. Thanks for talking to me, I was in such a trapped horrible position during the week, I felt so bloody alone. I've so much going for me and I still do but our relationship made me feel worthless.

This is funny...he thinks hes still right for making me walk home alone because I behaved obnoxiously to him. I didn't..I just stood up for myself, something he can't handle.

I keep taking deep breaths, I feel like a LOAD has just come off me. I'm really happy.

McGinty, thanks for your input and kind words x Thanks to you all, I know I needed to figure this one out myself, but you helped me get real about things and act on them. It was my own decision in the end and I'm delighted its done.