How to move on?

LegacyUser

Broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. It wasn't a mutual decision but i felt i had to do it as i wasn't always happy and we were fighting a lot.

At first he was convinced we were going to get back together, then he came to realise that i wasn't going to change my mind and started asking /begging me to meet up with him. I was busy I didn't have the time so I kept putting him off.

Then he started to get nasty by saying that he's "going to put me straight" and that "he'll have his day to make me cry" and all these kinda half threats. Needless to say i told him i wouldn't be meeting up with him if he was only meeting up with me to cause an argument. He became even nastier and started saying horrible things about me, threatening me more and also threatening my family. This all proved to me that I'm better off without him so i changed my number and blocked him from emailing me. He sent me an email 2 days ago from a different email, begging for forgiveness etc etc.

Anyway, today i was home for the first time since I broke up with him and started up the computer. Msn started up and said i had an email so i went in to check it. I didn't realise that it was signed in in his name and the email was from his friend. It took me a few seconds to cop on that it wasn't for me. I couldn't help but continue reading though it. It was all about his new girlfriend and how she's soo much prettier than i am and that she's more his "type".

I don't know why but i'm devastated now. I don't want him back but I'm jealous or something. I feel sort of empty inside.

ntlbell

the mail is a ploy to make you think he's moving on so you'll panic and try and get back with him, also to hurt you, if he really loved you and wanted you back he wouldn't do this, he wants you now because he can't have you, and you want him now because you think he's with someone else, awful grounds to base a relationship on.

pull a trigger, and move on with your life the guy sounds like he has a lot of personal issues that need to be addressed and life is too short.

morons are two to a penny.

louisecm

Its totally normal to feel that way when an ex gets a new significant other. Its not that you want them - but you don't want anyone else to want them either right? Just re-read your post and you will realise that this guy wasn't worth it. You did the right thing, stick to your guns and try to avoid all contact with the old guy. There are plenty of gems just waiting for you to discover them!

Wibbs

confused1111 wrote:

Broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. It wasn't a mutual decision but i felt i had to do it as i wasn't always happy and we were fighting a lot.

Seem good reasons, especially considering his later behaviour.

At first he was convinced we were going to get back together, then he came to realise that i wasn't going to change my mind and started asking /begging me to meet up with him.

Common enough.

I was busy I didn't have the time so I kept putting him off.

Lucky you were busy I say.

Then he started to get nasty by saying that he's "going to put me straight" and that "he'll have his day to make me cry" and all these kinda half threats. Needless to say i told him i wouldn't be meeting up with him if he was only meeting up with me to cause an argument. He became even nastier and started saying horrible things about me, threatening me more and also threatening my family.

Was this a one off rant in extremis, or did he come out with this crap more than once. If the latter, he sounds like a prat frankly. Very manly altogether, threatening women. Idiot. :rolleyes:

Anyway, today i was home for the first time since I broke up with him and started up the computer. Msn started up and said i had an email so i went in to check it. I didn't realise that it was signed in in his name and the email was from his friend.

So you live together?

It took me a few seconds to cop on that it wasn't for me. I couldn't help but continue reading though it. It was all about his new girlfriend and how she's soo much prettier than i am and that she's more his "type".

Ouch, but.....

I don't know why but i'm devastated now. I don't want him back but I'm jealous or something. I feel sort of empty inside.

Now look, first thing, so what if he says she's "prettier" and more his type? Big deal. He is your ex. He is your ex for a reason. From your description here he sounds like a bit of a twat. If he was going out with Keira Knightly you've still had a lucky escape.

You will get through this and I suspect quite quickly. When you get to work on yourself, get a new hobby, new direction, join a gym and all that other crap people go on about. The fact is it's not really crap and that kind of stuff will get your head straight for the next guy coming along who won't throw a hissy fit and threaten you or your family.

Good luck with it anyway

Wibbs

ntlbell wrote:

if he really loved you and wanted you back he wouldn't do this, he wants you now because he can't have you, and you want him now because you think he's with someone else, awful grounds to base a relationship on.

Nail on head. If he truly loved you he would have given you space when you needed space. He would have listened to and been mindful of your needs. He would have calmly told you he wanted to work on it, but if you didn't he would give you space. The joke is if he did that he would have stood a better chance.

morons are two to a penny.

True. Like the poor they'll always be with us. The trick is not to be with them.