What should I do about bf?

LegacyUser

Hi, I've been going out with my boyfriend 8 months. We're both in our early 20's and in college...
So here's the story... for the last month, we've been able to see each other once a week. Usually, on a friday night. So, then from the Sat morning to the following fri, I won't hear from him (unless I contact him first). No text nothing. So for the last 2 weeks, I've texted him on the Wed night etc.... He says he hates talking on the phone... so that's why it's always texts... but I personally think this is ridiculous, as there's hardly any communication going on because of this.
So the last time I saw him was last Sat morning. I texted him Wed, a nice text.. no reply... so 2 hrs later I send him a text (I usually would never text 2 in a row), to tell him that I didn't think he appreciated me enough as his girlfriend. + then got a cranky enough reply about how he was tired etc+ going to bed.I told him because of his exams, I was going to give him tons of space and not to contact me until he wasn't pissed off with me (I assumed he was).
I then got another text saying that he's pissed off with life in general at the moment, but not pissed off with me... and it will pass. He says it's because he's exams etc.

So here is fri+ I'm not going to see him at all all weekend, as he's gone home. He texted me to tell me he could not go out tonight, as he's gone home home... then one more text.. then another one saying he's running low on credit and have a good weekend.

I tried to ring him there. I really just wanted to say hey, as I haven't spoken to him all week+ to be honest, know that another week will go by again.

I feel like when I contact him, because of his exams, I'm being 'clingy' or something.. something I'd never wish to be.

Am I being completely unreasonable here?... I want to ring him again.. but won't... I just feel so not a priority to him. Before, he wouldn't let it go more than 3 days with out a text.. and I don't know how to nicely ask him to care more without coming across as a nag.
Do ye think the exams are the reason?
I'm busy with college too, but I'd like to be going out with someone, who can feel that their gf is a welcome break to exams....
I know that I probably won't hear from him all weekend+ will start slightly freaking out about it and probably ask him if he wants to break up. I asked him that a couple of times before... he doesn't... but I just don't know why he doesn't when he just isn't bothering that much anyway.

There's some things screaming to me that he's just not that into me... but when I say this to him, he says he is. Hmmmmm.

Femelade

To me, that doesnt sound like avery healthy relationship...But everyone is different, i understand how pissed off you must be and i wouldnt put up with it tbh.
He might be going through some personal problems etc..along with exams which can be stressfull for everyone..
If i were you, i'd try and leave it off until exams finish, once they are done, try to talk to him about it, face to face, not through txts. If he still doesnt see your point then i'd just finish it..
I'm with my boyfriend 9 months, since about 2 mts into the relationship we have spoke everyday. not many txts but we do speak every night, even for a few mins to say goodnight. I think its what most people do, i certainly would not go a week without talking to him.

Zillah

To be honest you sound a little annoying...

Either:
1 - He's not that interested in which case bugging him will achieve nothing, or
2 - He's really busy and stressed and you pestering him will only make it worse.

LegacyUser

I dunno why you would go out with someone when you see so little of them anyway but that's another days work to think about...

I think he is being a prick to be honest and I don't think he cares much about you. If anything, he should talk it over with you. Without communication, there is nothing. So I would get out of this situation and tell him to contact you after the exams.

Definitely not into you either by the sounds of things. My girlfriend would go mental at me if I didn't text her back etc over a period of days/texts and rightly so...cos i'd go mental at her and break up with her.

jellie

has it always been this way? when you started seeing each other was it only once a week or has it just become habit?

generally in relationships the 2 peoples lives get mixed up a bit, like going out with his friends sometimes, or him with yours. do you mix with others when youre together or is it always just the 2 of you? maybe thats not relevent, i dunno, just know i couldnt base a relationship on a couple of hours a week on a friday, and a text or 2 during the week

Little-Devil

It sounds like you both want different things at the moment, you sound as if you want more a commitment where you spend more time together and you want him to make more of a effort. From what you have said about him, it all sounds very casual to him, more so that he's only interested in one side of the relationship.

You need to ask yourself, will it always be you making the effort. Can you see things moving on to the next level in the near future, moving in together. If not it sounds more like a rut your stuck in and both maybe not knowing the next move to make in your relationship. It sounds to me as if this has run its course.

sweet-rasmus

he is probably really stressed out at the moment. though, it is a bit strange that he doesn't like talking to you on the phone. sure, i hate talking to strangers on the phone, or making important phone calls or whatnot, but with my boyfriend or best friend it's not a bother. very odd indeed, if he's not up to chatting with you. try to let him be until his exams are over, then see how he seems; exams can make people act very strange.

DeVore

If you love someone, set them free. Give him all the time and space you talked about and if he comes back to you you have your answer. If he doesnt, then he wasnt the right guy for you.

DeV.

MojoMaker

Sorry for being harsh, but you don't have a boyfriend, you have an acquaintance that you get to f*ck once a week (or maybe not :eek: ) but what you describe is not a relationship per se.

LegacyUser

The last text I got from him on Fri said he was low on credit+ to have a nice weekend... I tried to get through to him since, as I wanted to say hey etc. I feel like such a stalker from trying to contact my own boyfriend, even though we haven't really spoken all week...or in fact the last few weeks+ to be honest, I was a little worried... after him saying he was 'pissed off with life in general'. So all weekend, I know he has gone home, but I feel like he's just 'vanished'. Maybe he left his phone somewhere... but I'm sick of wondering what's going on, so if he hasn't contacted my by Tuesday night (as I know he has a gap in exams then), then I think I'm just going to go over to his house with a box of his stuff...

+ About us nt having a relationship... yeah maybe. But maybe it is just because of the exams. That's what I'm trying to work out... Up until a month ago, things were cool.
I probably should just completely leave things well alone until the exams are over/ I hear from him... but all this wondering is really annoying... hmm...

Marksie

confusedchick wrote:

I probably should just completely leave things well alone until the exams are over/ I hear from him... but all this wondering is really annoying... hmm...

Let him do his exams, get on with your life for now til they are finished. Then sit down and talk to him about all this, what you both want, where you both are going.

Then if necessary you can take your box of stuff over