Fear of flying..

wellyshoeswoes

My mate has an awful all consuming fear of flying.. we have booked a holiday to Thailand.... my mate doesnt want her fear to hold her back but understandibly the other two of us are now dreading the flight as much as the girl in question due to the fact that we dont know how to calm her for 11hrs. We would really really apreciate if anyone who has been in a simular situation or if anyone has a magical cure (she wants to take valium but wer not sure it will work) all suggestions and stories of simular experiences are sooo welcome!!

please dont move this post because the travel post gets very few views thus few responses

Davidth88

Hi,

Most people's fear of flying is around the takeoff/landing parts , so the length of the flight is not that relevant .

Maybe try taking them on a short / cheap hop to London and back to help de-sensitise them ?

I know some people run courses for the fear of flying but they cost a fortune.

I have seen videos about that explain what is happening during the flight ( Virgin show them before every flight I think ) that may help.

One thing is sure , the more the person ( and you ) worry / talk about this the bigger problem will become.

I hope you enjoy your holiday , never been to Thailand !

karen3212

I have no idea if it is possible, but could your mate not get something from a doctor to help calm them,

worth a try

Love2love

In my experience, Valium doesn't work. I also have a fear of flying and have tried taking it. The best thing you could do is constantly talk to her and reassure her. Another thing is, if she were to stay awake for 24 hours before therefore she would sleep for the majority of the flight.

barrett1965

Try this:

http://www.anxietycoach.com/flying.htm

empirix

tbh - to get to Thailand, i take it your going through Heathrow, amsterdam, cdg etc, which will mean a flight on aer lingus, ryanair etc, she'll be bricking it for 40 mins or so, but for the long haul she'll think she's in paradise on a jumbo, more spacious, food, drinks, and your own console, after a while you just don't give a rats on these things, if anything she'll get bored and look forward to landing, the jumbo's usually whack the turbulence out of it unless its heavy stuff. Tell her to meditate before the connecting flight to heathrow etc. She''ll be fine:)

WindSock

Davidth88 wrote:

Maybe try taking them on a short / cheap hop to London and back to help de-sensitise them ?

Not to London, The flight is usually quite turbulant crossing the Irish sea. Maybe a Domestic?

Daithio

I had a very near crash experience about six years ago when flying in Ecuador and I was absolutely sh1tting myself for a good few years afterwards. I really didn't want to have to fly again but kind of had to with what I do for a living. It took about 20 flights to be entirely comfortable with it, and even now if I'm tired or hungover or just in general if my nerves aren't 100% I have mini freakouts during take off and landing.

Valium may not work for everybody but it DEFINITELY made it alot easier for me. I'd still be afraid and sh1tting myself but it just didn't register as much and panic mode didn't set in as easily. The best stuff I was prescribed was called lexotan. I'd really recommend that she takes something for it. Also tell her not to drink for a few days beforehand because anything like that which makes the nerves act up slightly will make it 100 times worse. Good luck with it, and oh yeah, for the vast majority of people, myself included, the fear pretty much altogether subsides once the plane has fully ascended, it's mainly take off and landing that are the killer, so I doubt it will be a complete nightmare for the full 11 hrs, just half an hour at each end.

EDIT to say arrive early and book seats down the front of the plane, it's not nearly as bumpy. Also avoid window seats, every time I look out the window of a plane I start telling myself this big piece of metal shouldn't be up here in the sky at all, freaking out and thinking it's going to plummet down to the earth at any second! Not very pleasant.

LenaLena

I was the same as your mate, and even though I've been to the States and South Africa and lots of Europe, for some reason I couldn't face getting on a plane for four years... And then avoiding it made it a million times worse for me actually thinking about getting on a plane. In the end, like your mate, I had to book a flight to force myself to get over it. It was a short one - over to Manchester, with the lovely Ryanair. HAving to queue like a bunch of pigs in a hall didn't do anything to calm my nerves, so I'd suggest flying with someone who will allocate seats first off. Also don't be late so you're not adding the stress of being under time pressure to everything else.

I was afraid of the following and this is how I got over it...
THe noise - make sure you sit in front of the engines, it is way less noisy there than behind them. Also I wear ear plugs (the spongy ones) as it makes the noise a lot less intrusive. I actually like looking out the window instead of looking about the cabin too much, but maybe it might be better to avoid the windows if you don't know if you'll like them or not. as it happens I'm not fond of heights so not sure how I'm okay with this but anyway...


Not knowing what's happening - Speak to a pilot or someone who does flying lessons so you can ask them the things you worry about i.e. how do you know where the other planes are, how far away are they, what would happen if an engine stopped etc... I think it's very helpful to understand turbulance and the capabilities of an airplane also. For my flight to manchester every time we had a tiny bump, I was thinking about how small a bump on the road it takes to make a car bounce, and found that knowing more rationalises your fear...

I also did an online course here http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/
and I found it really helpful.


Not being used to flying - This is major anorak alert material here, but I live in North Dublin, under the flight path of the planes, so I would watch them when one went overhead to make sure they weren't falling out of the sky. I also (the shame) went to the back road in FInglas to watch the planes land and depart. Not one fell out of the sky or had a bad landing or anything even in strong cross winds (I had someone who loves flying and used to do lessons with me and he was telling me what was happening etc). I still stare at planes overhead like a total geek, but it's normalising it I suppose, so that can't be a bad thing...


Not being in control - one of the things I was most afraid of was having a panic attack on the plane with the door closed and I'd be stuck there and couldn't get off like you could in a mode that travels on the ground. The panic attack didn't happen, but I had myself so hyped that I was sick in my stomach getting on the plane and I was sweating like I don't know what and couldn't eat or anything. By the way, I am usually a very levelheaded, in control, rational, logical woman, so me being like this is completely out of character.

I had to get over it by talking to myself, not out loud mind, (and rocking, looked like a proper fruit) and saying that this was ok, and I would be fine etc. I was shaking for the entire flight, and didn't sleep properly the night before or anything so it was really stressful. I also use Bach's rescue remedy, it's probably placebo, but does it matter if it works? I don't think drinking or drugs are a great idea because the effect of drink is amplified in the air, and really if you're masking things you're not actually dealing with them and still have fear to deal with. But if you were going to take drugs, I'd try them a few times before you fly, so when you're on the plane you're not freaking out about the effects of the drug as well as everything else. I also brought lots of reading material - mostly trashy mags because I wouldn't have the attention span to read anything absorbing because I was so afraid.

This sounds sad, but I also get dressed in a nice outfit that I really like, or else really comfy soft clothes, so I feel either stylish or really relaxed. It's sad, but I found it helped me because I felt a bit better about myself in the airport etc. It's the little things...

I also find looking at the air hostesses and the staff is reassuring. And also knowing more about what is happening so you know what is normal or not. For example, the noise from the wheels going up or down. One place i was reading said that they go down four minutes before landing when this can be done in forty seconds, but its to be sure, to be sure... knowing the kinds of precautions that are in place, i found, are reassuring.

I also read this book - Flying without Fear. it was okay, answered some questions for me. another friend who doesn't like flying only read half of it because she likes knowing less. I personally want to know more so I understand what's happening.

I'm still not completely happy about getting on a plane, but last summer after deciding enough was enough, I flew to three more places and by the last one, I was grand. WEll as grand as I suspect I will ever be. Had to fly again at Xmas and a few weeks ago, and it was fine. am flying again this summer. So ultimately these things can be dealt with, you just have to address them... [/FONT]

Miss Fluff

I did an 11 hour flight back in March and had been up drinking with friends until 4am the morning before, I was so so fragile it's just not worth. As another poster said, make sure she doesn't drink beforehand. Tbh for a flight of that length, I think once you've made the connection in Heathrow or Schipol or wherever you're flying through, I reckon she should just knock herself out with a sleeping pill.

boffin

I know two people who have a fear of flying - one is so bad that they have to get a special prescription at the doctor - its not valium and I can't remember the name but they are really strong - they are like a zombie after they have taken them.

The second is also scared of flying after watching those plane crash programmes on discovery. The best way I have found when flying with her is to 1. hold her hand to reassure her and 2. keep her chatting throughout takeoff and landing to try and keep her mind occupied 3. make sure the seating isn't near the wings as that freaks her out because of the noise when the flaps etc are being released. But best not to make a big deal of it as it just makes it a 100 times worse.

empirix

LenaLena wrote:

I was the same as your mate, and even though I've been to the States and South Africa and lots of Europe, for some reason I couldn't face getting on a plane for four years... And then avoiding it made it a million times worse for me actually thinking about getting on a plane. In the end, like your mate, I had to book a flight to force myself to get over it. It was a short one - over to Manchester, with the lovely Ryanair. HAving to queue like a bunch of pigs in a hall didn't do anything to calm my nerves, so I'd suggest flying with someone who will allocate seats first off. Also don't be late so you're not adding the stress of being under time pressure to everything else.

I was afraid of the following and this is how I got over it...
THe noise - make sure you sit in front of the engines, it is way less noisy there than behind them. Also I wear ear plugs (the spongy ones) as it makes the noise a lot less intrusive. I actually like looking out the window instead of looking about the cabin too much, but maybe it might be better to avoid the windows if you don't know if you'll like them or not. as it happens I'm not fond of heights so not sure how I'm okay with this but anyway...


Not knowing what's happening - Speak to a pilot or someone who does flying lessons so you can ask them the things you worry about i.e. how do you know where the other planes are, how far away are they, what would happen if an engine stopped etc... I think it's very helpful to understand turbulance and the capabilities of an airplane also. For my flight to manchester every time we had a tiny bump, I was thinking about how small a bump on the road it takes to make a car bounce, and found that knowing more rationalises your fear...

I also did an online course here http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/
and I found it really helpful.


Not being used to flying - This is major anorak alert material here, but I live in North Dublin, under the flight path of the planes, so I would watch them when one went overhead to make sure they weren't falling out of the sky. I also (the shame) went to the back road in FInglas to watch the planes land and depart. Not one fell out of the sky or had a bad landing or anything even in strong cross winds (I had someone who loves flying and used to do lessons with me and he was telling me what was happening etc). I still stare at planes overhead like a total geek, but it's normalising it I suppose, so that can't be a bad thing...


Not being in control - one of the things I was most afraid of was having a panic attack on the plane with the door closed and I'd be stuck there and couldn't get off like you could in a mode that travels on the ground. The panic attack didn't happen, but I had myself so hyped that I was sick in my stomach getting on the plane and I was sweating like I don't know what and couldn't eat or anything. By the way, I am usually a very levelheaded, in control, rational, logical woman, so me being like this is completely out of character.

I had to get over it by talking to myself, not out loud mind, (and rocking, looked like a proper fruit) and saying that this was ok, and I would be fine etc. I was shaking for the entire flight, and didn't sleep properly the night before or anything so it was really stressful. I also use Bach's rescue remedy, it's probably placebo, but does it matter if it works? I don't think drinking or drugs are a great idea because the effect of drink is amplified in the air, and really if you're masking things you're not actually dealing with them and still have fear to deal with. But if you were going to take drugs, I'd try them a few times before you fly, so when you're on the plane you're not freaking out about the effects of the drug as well as everything else. I also brought lots of reading material - mostly trashy mags because I wouldn't have the attention span to read anything absorbing because I was so afraid.

This sounds sad, but I also get dressed in a nice outfit that I really like, or else really comfy soft clothes, so I feel either stylish or really relaxed. It's sad, but I found it helped me because I felt a bit better about myself in the airport etc. It's the little things...

I also find looking at the air hostesses and the staff is reassuring. And also knowing more about what is happening so you know what is normal or not. For example, the noise from the wheels going up or down. One place i was reading said that they go down four minutes before landing when this can be done in forty seconds, but its to be sure, to be sure... knowing the kinds of precautions that are in place, i found, are reassuring.

I also read this book - Flying without Fear. it was okay, answered some questions for me. another friend who doesn't like flying only read half of it because she likes knowing less. I personally want to know more so I understand what's happening.

I'm still not completely happy about getting on a plane, but last summer after deciding enough was enough, I flew to three more places and by the last one, I was grand. WEll as grand as I suspect I will ever be. Had to fly again at Xmas and a few weeks ago, and it was fine. am flying again this summer. So ultimately these things can be dealt with, you just have to address them... [/FONT]

LOL you have totally made me paranoid now, i didnt think of half those things, damn you:D

Steyr

I could post some videos here of take off/landing to show the various wing part movements? Might help? They arent my videos but it would relax your mate so they wont freak to see the moving parts like airbrakes etc?

LenaLena

woops sorry for spreading fear!

bogzilla

i also get very nervous when flying - specifically i usually get mild panic attacks always when the main doors are closed. it is basically linked to clastrophobia and the fear of making a tit out of myself in front of everyone.

i have continued flying without any medication and i have been ok and continue getting better on it. the mains things i've found are:

1) do not drink alcohol in at least 48 hours before the flight as it will just make you nervous - same applied to coffee.

2) drink loads of water in the 48 hours coming up to the flight.

3) if you start to get panicky, don't try to stop the sensations - just let them flood over your body - this may sound odd but don't force against it, just concentrate on some breathing and remember it will be over in about 5 minutes.

4) distraction - get a good book or DVD and flake into it.

5) if you're still in trouble, see a doctor and get some sleeping pills etc...

i know that it is a terrifiying experience and only people who have experienced it really know what you're going through.

good luck with it.

cousin_borat

Mention it to one of the Stewardesses before you take off. They will usually come over to check on your friend quite often especially if there is any turbulence and explain what is happening. I've seen this a few times and it always seems to help the person in question.

red_ice

Ill go into a bit of a story about me and flying.

I've flown to alot of places around the world, off the top of my head i was in the usa, spain, portugal, luxembourg, sweden, denmark, france, bulgaria, scotland, iceland and most airports in england!

I've never had a fear of flying, and tbh, when im in air it feels somewhat tranquil. Its something about the majestic turns and so on, it really realxes me... well used to.

3 years ago i was flying from liverpool back to dublin (a regular flight for me), and there was serious winds. the flights were being delayed left right and centre. We got up, the 40 minute flight stretched out to an hour and 10 minutes before i noticed. Then the pilot gets on the radio and informs us we have been circling outside of dublin due to winds that are above the legal windspeed limit to land a plane, so we are going to circle for another 30 mintues or so and ATTEMPT a landing... It was horrible up there, really horrible and to make it worse the drunk people beside me were going "no point in buckling up haha, if we go down its all over!". Never the less, 15 minutes after his announcement, the pilot then says "Right,the winds are around the legal limit to land, were going to attempt a landing." I nearly sh!t myself. As we were coming in to land, the plane was hitting air pockets left right and centre. as we came to the runway to land, the plane moved 20 meters left of the runway, and as he compensated for that, the plane shifted another 20 off the other side of the runway. Never the less, he got it down and every one cheered.

I flew loads more after that and wasnt really worried, the white noise in a plane can put me to sleep. I was coming back from spain last summer, flying into london to see queens of the stoneage/foofighters/motorhead in hyde park. And as i was boarding the plane i started to shake. When i sat down on the plane i felt a knot in my throat, and i started feeling sick. Then i burst into tears. I had a full on panic attack for no reason what so ever. Might i add, there was perfect flying conditions aswell.

I've been prescribed valium for when i fly, and the dose i have knocks me out cold. Maybe your friend should consider getting it too. All the people from previos posts who didnt really find any benifit from valium may have had a light dose just to calm their nervs.

Your friend should also look into proper breathing techniques. Getting relaxation tapes is a great idea. TBH, the one i got sounded really cheesie. It was saying stuff like 'make a fist and squeeze as hard as you can for 10 seconds, then let go - this is the feeling of relaxation'. I didnt see how that would help me untill i started to panic a little, tensing up does make the panic attacks worse, but letting go helps train your mind into thinking that its ok now, the danger is gone, everythings ok, just relax now. When your on the plane with him/her, give her a hand massage, take her mind off of the flight, keep her in conversation - he/she may not want to talk to you because he/she will be too focused on the panic, thats when you as a friend will be needed to step in and keep her relaxed. Above all, get him/her to breath, and slow down the breathing as much as you can.

Panic attacks are a very embarrasing thing to get, it helps to talk about them.

red_ice

cousin_borat wrote:

Mention it to one of the Stewardesses before you take off. They will usually come over to check on your friend quite often especially if there is any turbulence and explain what is happening. I've seen this a few times and it always seems to help the person in question.

they did that for me when i got my flight back from spain (the one i mentioned from the previous post). As well as that, they were keeping oxygen incase i felt ready to pass out or get a panic attack. Take note, oxygen is not what you need for a panic attack, its quote the opposite. You need carbon. Oxygen is what makes you light headed, carbon is what levels it out - you breath carbon by breathing in recycled air - breathing into a paper bag is ideal for this.

Not only did the Stewardesses check up on us(i was with my gf) she cleared a row of seats so i could lie down and try sleep. They were very helpfull.

Definitly let them know.

jaggeh

sure fire plan that has worked in countless episodes, just slip somesedative into B.A.'s milk and when hes out cold carry him, on to the plane. Just when he wakes up tell him you drove and keep murdock away from him for a while.

daveg

I posted a thread about fear of flying a while back (http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054998751&referrerid=&highlight=fear+of+flying). Some of the posts were very interesting. I had a bad flight from Oz to NZ. Really bad turbulance for 2 hours. Air hostess crying etc etc. Ever since I hate, and I really mean hate, turbulance. I also hate take off due to a flight to Florida last year where the plane was all over the place once off the ground.

Now, for long haul flights, I take sleeping tablets prescribed by the doctor. Once I'm in the air I take them and sleep till were desending to land. Would highly recommend them for those with fears of flying.

Naked Lepper

i had been taking lots of psychedelic drugs in london on dec 3rd 2006 (lsd, 2c-b, mdma etc) and was on a ryanair 737-800 which made one attempt to land in dublin, failed and diverted to shannon to make an attempt as we didnt have enough fuel to stay circling in dublin
it was pretty intense... even without all the psychedelics, id still have shat myself! everyone on the plane was ****tin it, including the pilot and staff, people crying and stuff.. ive had about 30 flights in the past two years and this was by farrr the worst!

heres a vid of a AL flight on that day trying to land in dublin, our flight was identical but smaller aircraft

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkPgalYvGB8

wellyshoeswoes

Thanks for all the responses, theyve been really helpful, Ive had my friend read over them, particularly the reply from LenaLena- your advice was really brilliant. I have to say tho some (see above) wer kinda scarey and wer beginning to scare me even tho I have no fear of flyin whatso ever!!! lol

irishpartyboy

I never used to be scared of flying but for some reason recently I get a bit jumpy, for no particular reason. I've no problem with take off or landing, enjoy those parts, but its any bad turbulence that makes me a bit nervous...

A couple of good tips I got.

*You really need to take your mind off the fact your flying.. so try stay busy and focussed on something else.. reading, listening to music, watching a movie, playing cards.. chatting to you mates.

*Knock yourself out... I've tried drinking lots, sleeping pills and valium.. worked very well.

*During turbulence.. if all else fails, hold onto the arm rests, close your eyes and imagine your travelling on a train.. it's pretty much the same sensation and its about easing your mind. Worked ok too.

Good luck. One other way to look at it is... how unlucky would you be to be involved in some sort of accident? Seriously unlucky. I'd recommend flying with decent airlines if possible, it does help.

damo

Good thread. Being a pilot myself (currently training for the airline transport licence) i find the subject of people who fear flying to be very interesting. For a start let me just say, youve got nothing to worry about, your chances of being involved in a crash in an airliner-jet are one in several million. Crashes are so rare that, from a passengers point of view, they shouldnt be worth thinking about. Do you get nervous before you get in a car? or a train? no? Well you have a much higher chance of being killed when you get in a car or a train than you do in a plane.

Seriously, the plane youre gonna be flying in is a miracle of human creation (in my biased opinion ), modern airline jets (boeing etc) are absolutely fantastic pieces of scientific machinery and your pilots will be top quality, trained for any situation the atmosphere, the aircraft or the airport throws at them - and ill tell you why....incompetent pilots do-not-make-itin this industry, i personally know of several who quit training as they were not up to it. The training is rigorous and difficult, the theory exams are huge and cover EVERYTHING! (believe me im studying them at the moment, ouch).

That was an interesting story by the way on this thread (cant remember who posted it, sorry!) about the pilot circling over dublin for 30 minutes because of the winds. Basically what that is, is that the runway in use at the time had the wind blowing perpendicular to it(a crosswind) and every plane can only compensate for so much of a crosswind, such to the extent that when full 'crosswind correction' is applied to the various control surfaces on the aircraft, that the wind blowing accross the runway will still blow the plane away and off the runway. Dont be alarmed, however, because in this situation if the pilot is on final to land, and the corsswind is too strong, it is SIMPLE to apply full power and fly away from the landing and go land somewhere else where the winds aint so bad. Even if the wheels are 2 feet above the tarmac, it is easy to abort the landing and climb out of there. I doubt the pilots were scared (i think the poster said they were?), id say they were having a laugh, because crosswind landing is one of the most fun things to do in flying, and is immensely satisfying when you pull a nice one off.

Also dont worry about turbulence, the chance of you flying into turbulence that causes structural damage are practically 0. All other turbulence (even the most severe where the pilots cant control the plane) is nothing to worry about, and will pass quickly.

All in all, enjoy the flight, and have a good trip!

bug

I'm a similar nutjob
I like flying and have no fear of it but get claustrophobia after a few hours on a plane. I get narky and panicky and start sobbing. Seriously,after an experience at Christmas I can understand why people start screaming in mid air.

There are lots of courses and treatments for the fear of flying. Unlike my situation where I doubt there are many except to lock you in a box for a few hours for practise.

A colleague of mine recently went on a course where they explain the physics of flying and then to finish the course, bring you on a jet at the airport while the captain explains to you exactly what's happening when you hit all the bumps and turbulence. It sounded great. She could also bring a friend with her for comfort on the course.
She said after a lifelong fear of flying she can now go on holiday this summer.
It cost 500 Euro, which is steep but worth it for the rest of your life IMO.
I'll find out the contact details for you and post tomorrow if your mate is interested. As far as I know its a two day course which takes place two Saturdays in a row.