too sensitive to comments/remarks

needhelp1

im a 23 year old guy, feel/consider myself no different to the next person, other than the fact that i am quite sensitive to negative comments/remarks or situations/confrontation, with flatmates for example These things cause my stomach to be in knots. These situations cause me to analyze the past and i always end up finding fault with myself as a result and it just gets me down basically. Is this level of sensitivity normal?
An example would be a friend who isnt talking to me since we had a bit of a tiff, nothing to serious now. I aways have to be the one to initiate the conversations now, when before it was the other way around. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, especially since i have to see him everyday at work. I t doesnt trouble him, but with me seem to require to be in harmony with other or something.
it just gets me down and gets me angered, bascially these little things just get to me. I might not have put this across in the best possible way, words were never my best friend. so please drop a comment id be glad to see wat u hve to say,thanks

Carrigart Exile

Jeezo what a moaner..........just messing mate:D The one thing I've learned with age is that people can be hurtful for loads of reasons nothing to do with you: they can be in a bad mood with someone else but feel you are an easier target; they are just crabbit; they are trying to deflect from their own inadequacies; and they enjoy being hurtful. Either way the old phrase about water off of a ducks back is worth holding in your memory. As for your flatmate, he sounds like he is enjoying the 'huff'.

Victor

Perhaps you need a drill sergeant to give out to you, to get you over the hump.

The Bollox

I used to be like that. any time I had a fight with a friend it was always muggins here who ended up mending the bridge. it really pissed me off. I eventually got over it tho. all it takes is time

Kell

needhelp1 wrote:

i am quite sensitive to negative comments/remarks or situations/confrontation, with flatmates for example

Can you be a bit more specific?

needhelp1 wrote:

These situations cause me to analyze the past and i always end up finding fault with myself as a result and it just gets me down basically.

Have you been on the receiving end of negativity/put downs etc for an extended period of time say from family? If you have its perfectly natural to be overtly sensitive to negative comments/slags.

If someone/people consitently put you down or direct negative statements at you, you begin to believe you deserve them or somehow you are at fault. However, its not your fault. A lot of the time, people are just damn stupid and dont appreciate that constant negative comments leave people, such as yourself, with a skin as thin as a moth wing. Thing you need to do is to convince yourself that they dont actually mean it.

Another thing you mentioned was that you get angered, which also leads to not getting your point across properly because people take you as losing the head. Next time someone directs something negative at you, count to ten and then question their comment as to what they mean by it. They'll either tell you its just a slag or tell you if they have a problem with you.

G'luck.

K-

Linoge

Victor wrote:

Perhaps you need a drill sergeant to give out to you, to get you over the hump.

Ha! Op, have you ever watched the first 40 mins of Full Metal Jacket? Watch it, honestly, you'd learn lots!

bug

needhelp1 wrote:

im a 23 year old guy, feel/consider myself no different to the next person, other than the fact that i am quite sensitive to negative comments/remarks or situations/confrontation, with flatmates for example These things cause my stomach to be in knots. These situations cause me to analyze the past and i always end up finding fault with myself as a result and it just gets me down basically. Is this level of sensitivity normal?
An example would be a friend who isnt talking to me since we had a bit of a tiff, nothing to serious now. I aways have to be the one to initiate the conversations now, when before it was the other way around. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, especially since i have to see him everyday at work. I t doesnt trouble him, but with me seem to require to be in harmony with other or something.
it just gets me down and gets me angered, bascially these little things just get to me. I might not have put this across in the best possible way, words were never my best friend. so please drop a comment id be glad to see wat u hve to say,thanks

The answer is confidence. If you are confident enough about the decisions you make then there is no reason to over analyse the past.
Whether those decisions are right or wrong the trick is that you can't dwell on them, just look at what happened, get an answer, and then put that answer in a little box in your head and forget about it.

If someone says something negative to you, take a few minutes, think about what happened to lead up to those comments, and see if the person is justified in saying it to you. If they are apologise, try and build your character on it by taking small note of it, and move on.
If they aren't weigh up the situation and figure out if it's worth saying anything.

You can't be in "harmony" with everyone all of the time. Its impossible.
Nobody is.
Leave the mate alone for a while and concentrate on other issues. Like yourself.
You will learn, as you get a bit older to be less sensitive. Be a bit more self
involved - have a bit of confidence in yourself and your own beliefs.

And dont get too stressed about these things, you'll end up with ulcers.