regreating not leaving the job 2 months ago

Anna23

ABOUT 2 months ago I was having some problems in work with the manager and the so called team leader who has no idea what she is doing, she is just on a power trip, insulting everyone in her path.

I resigned but he said to me to think about it, the next day I decided to stay, but now I REGRET IT BADLY, really badly, first I lost a job that was offering me 10 k more, the reason why I stayed was because I wanted to get a mortgage and I need to be perm in a job to be able to qualify for one, so that was my main reason and I swallowed my pried and stayed. BUT NOW I have realized I have made the biggest mistake of my life, and I want out. I am being insulted on a regular basis by my TL, who says things along the lines of " hopefully you will not fall in love with another one of your team members that way our working relationship should be just fine/great" also saying things about my clothes ( I dont understand why as I dress really nicely), always watches my screen and always is more intrested in what I do. On wednesday last week I was 3 hours late ( i should mention my attendance is excellent) and I rang her at 8.30 to inform her that I have some personal problems and that I will be in before 11.30, to which she asked 3 times what are my personal probs, to which I said they are personal see you at 11.30. When I got to work at 11.30 she stood up and asked with a really patronizing tone "can I see you for a minute" to which I said yes but I would prefer if a union rep was with me.....and also said to her I have done nothing wrong so I dont understand why you need to speak to me, and she said " well thats what you thing", this is just a few examples, I am looking to make a compalint against her with HR, I have already spoken to them about it.

They are even telling us who to go on lunch with now, its becoming more of a "dictatorship environment" which I am not happy about at all. but before I leave I want that complaint made againt the so called know it all of a TL, and she is in her probabtion period, if I make the complaint, what can happen to her, will she be fired in case they realized she bullies ppl?

Another girl left this company because she was bullied, but she refuzed to say by who....though we all kinda know and presume it was the same TL.

I do not want to be intimidated into leaving but I have no choice or any come back.....I cant fight them anymore.

This morning I was dreading to come to work and tried to come up with excuses to escape this inferno!

ANY ideas?

leeroybrown

Use the time you are spending posting here to start looking for a new job elsewhere.

Anna23

I have done that already!!! I am just wondering what TO DO until I find a new job, as it took about a month until I found the other job, I am not asking for pity I am jut asking for advice and if u are not willing to give any thats excellent. I am wondering what to do until I find a job, as where I work its not that easy to find a job, and somewhere where I cant see a TL for miles, my job doesnt even require a TL.

Nody

Bit of devils lawyer here but anyway, allow me to break it down partly from "the other side".

saying things about my clothes ( I dont understand why as I dress really nicely)

Eye of the beholder etc. Also a question of what is deemed suitable and what is to challenging/appropriate.

Anna23 wrote:

and also said to her I have done nothing wrong so I dont understand why you need to speak to me

Only a minor point but you have actually done something wrong since you have not shown up at your scheduled start time, the fact you notified her about it don't make it ok to be late.

There is also clearly more story behind this from her comment about falling in love with another member and having a good relationship which is causing her to be a pain in the behind (was she also in love with him/her or perhaps a ex?).

before I leave I want that complaint made againt the so called know it all of a TL, and she is in her probabtion period, if I make the complaint, what can happen to her, will she be fired in case they realized she bullies ppl?

Very unlikely, most likely outcome is that she's possibly asked to tone it down a bit. Especially if she can prove that you got it in for her (stealing her ex. etc. as we don't have the full story I can only speculate what she can drag up).

Another girl left this company because she was bullied, but she refuzed to say by who....though we all kinda know and presume it was the same TL.

Assumptions is the mother of all ****ups.

I do not want to be intimidated into leaving but I have no choice or any come back.....I cant fight them anymore.

Bolded the part you did not go in on, who are these people since you switch from problem with your TL to a unspecified group with out noting your problem with the group as whole.

*edit*
Forgot to add possible solutions /bonks myself. First of all speak with your TM since you appear to have a good/ok relationship since (s)he talked you out of leaving. See if you can get transfered to another team due to <insert relationship thingie that blew up and you can't work with your current team because of insert BS reason>. Don't rag to him about your TL as it is a waste of time, rather try to find non TL reasons to get a transfer. Also ask for everything your TL sends you / tells you to do in writing (e-mail is fine) as it gives you a paper record, if it is not in writing simply don't do it (short of obvious stuff, but anything you believe is extra etc. should be in writing).

Anna23

Well she had a problem with a jumper I wore twice that week, on monday and thursday by saying oh God sometimes I swear I THINK THATs the only jumper u have she said it twice.

Everyone in here is allowed to be late, I can tell you as well WHY I was late even though It might make u go all red (sorry if it does). Them 2 TL are late all day everyday aboue 30 mins nothing is said to them, we have complained nothing was done about that.

It was not her ex, and I was not in love with him, or anything like that, she heard gossip from other people in work.

I have tried to get moved to a different team and he said no..... I have applied for 3 different jobs within the company, didnt even get an email to say sorry better luck next time.

i have told him about the att she had from the start with me, the first day she saw me she told me she deosnt like the way I talk.....she met me 20 mins prior and had a very good impression about me....

By them I mean herself, and the so called red tape, also the manager listens but doesnt care, so its them!!!

L_3107

Anna23 wrote:

Well she had a problem with a jumper I wore twice that week, on monday and thursday by saying oh God sometimes I swear I THINK THATs the only jumper u have she said it twice.

Everyone in here is allowed to be late, I can tell you as well WHY I was late even though It might make u go all red (sorry if it does). Them 2 TL are late all day everyday aboue 30 mins nothing is said to them, we have complained nothing was done about that.

It was not her ex, and I was not in love with him, or anything like that, she heard gossip from other people in work.

I have tried to get moved to a different team and he said no..... I have applied for 3 different jobs within the company, didnt even get an email to say sorry better luck next time.

i have told him about the att she had from the start with me, the first day she saw me she told me she deosnt like the way I talk.....she met me 20 mins prior and had a very good impression about me....

By them I mean herself, and the so called red tape, also the manager listens but doesnt care, so its them!!!

Make a complaint about her to HR today, its sounds like shes bullying you big time, if they do nothing about it, get the hell out of there, you shouldnt have to put up with that, she sounds like a right bitch, shes probably jealous of you, keep a diary of every incident or what she says

Drakar

If you are actually being bullied into leaving, talk to your union. If they are good you should be able to get a financial package for being put in a position where you were bullied into leaving.

Anna23

See I hate being "thrown out" just because she wont leave me alone, she heard that I am making a complaint against her as I have infomed my manager, and now she is watching everything I do, so she can catch me out, its so pathetic and I am dying to leave here, about 3 other ppl are leaving ( I presume different reasons) but it will take me some time to find anotehr job and go for interviews.

I hate having to leave just because of her.....its like a dictatorship.....actually she is worse than Hitler.....seriously...

Anna23

If you are actually being bullied into leaving, talk to your union. If they are good you should be able to get a financial package for being put in a position where you were bullied into leaving.

yes actually I have been advised on that so I think I will have a look into this, as I cant take it anymore, the union have been informed and they haev informed HR and nothing really has been done.....so...dont know what the next step is

chump

First of all, grin and bear it for the minute.
Go for a few interviews and line up a new job.
Get offered a job you want.
Hand in the resignation and then speak to HR about your TL- at least it will be on record and it will make things more difficult for your TL. Particularly so if somewhere down the line someone ELSE does the same. It will also show the TL what an almighty dikhead you think they are - but that's life.

Anna23

I have a few interviews already lined up, so hope to get something soon, I have decided to make a complaint against her while I am here, before leaving, I am speaking to my union at present and they are looking at the letter I have sent them about the numerous incidents that happened between me and her, she even said I shouted at her and there was a disciplinary meeting between my manager,myself and HR about that, anyway them 2 were expecting me to get a warning, nothing was done by HR nothing!!!! they just made fools of themsleves!

Just the way she speaks to people u'd think she is GOD!!! Oh no, actually Donal Trump ha ha ha " you are fired" God Id love to say that to her!!!

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Anna23 wrote:

ABOUT 2 months ago I was having some problems in work with the manager and the so called team leader who has no idea what she is doing, she is just on a power trip, insulting everyone in her path.

ANY ideas?

ah jezzzzzzzzzus reading all your threads your have major problems in work,
with co workers, managers, and even the young office boy.....

i can only find one common denominator with all you stories

pow wow

Your whole experience there sounds messy and it also sounds as if complaining/cutting of your nose to spite your face just so you're not the one forced out is going to get you nowhere.

You already resigned once and so your loyalty to the company will be questionnable anyway - add that to you complaining about someone higher up and whatever the outcome, good or bad, your life will be uncomfortable there. I am not normally one to say bow out but things there sound more than messy as it is, with all this backbiting and gossip flying around about what you have or haven't been up to. All this 'why is it not ok for me to be late when x y z are always late' does not bode well with management, believe me.

If she is as bad as you say management will notice. If not, then console yourself with the prospect of far better paying jobs being out there for you and once you make a decision stick to it. I have never known anyone where retracting their resignation worked out well, myself included.

Gran Hermano

Must say that job sounds like a car crash waiting to happen.
Time to move on OP.

GoneShootin

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

i can only find one common denominator with all you stories

But you won't be able to comment on them any longer.

Banned.

Darragh29

Anna23 wrote:

I have a few interviews already lined up, so hope to get something soon, I have decided to make a complaint against her while I am here, before leaving, I am speaking to my union at present and they are looking at the letter I have sent them about the numerous incidents that happened between me and her, she even said I shouted at her and there was a disciplinary meeting between my manager,myself and HR about that, anyway them 2 were expecting me to get a warning, nothing was done by HR nothing!!!! they just made fools of themsleves!

Just the way she speaks to people u'd think she is GOD!!! Oh no, actually Donal Trump ha ha ha " you are fired" God Id love to say that to her!!!

If you REALLY want to put the sh*t's up a boss that is a bully, try this:

(1) Go to your GP and tell him/her that you are being bullied at work and need some time off. Tell your GP that this is all due to your situation at work, (assuming that it is!). Get him/her to do up a written medical report saying that you are now suffering from stress and the cause of this is your work environment.

(2) Go to your solicitor and get your solicitor to write a letter personally to your TL, informing her of how her conduct at work is affecting your health and that it is now affecting your ability to attend work. Get your solicitor to say that this is in breach of health and safety legislation and that if the situation is not remied immediately, you will imminently take legal action against her personally and also against your employer, including an action seeking damages for the harm done to your health at the present time, while you have been at work. Say if you continue to receive this particular form of treatment, you will go to court seeking an injunction to have your position at work secured and reinforced if necessary while your case is heard.

(3) Copy the full communication to the HR Manager, her immediate manager and your immediate manager, and then sit back and watch the sh*t fit the fan!

I had to do this once and the problem was resolved very quickly indeed when my manager left the company almost immediately after I did the above! I didn't rush into it, and it certainly wasn't a knee-jerk reaction. I saw other people leaving and being bullied out of their jobs and I decided that I had taken enough and that someone had to take a stand and that it was me that had to do it.

Darragh29

ellscurr wrote:

If she is as bad as you say management will notice.

What if management is as bad as her if not worse??? What kind of management puts an individual like this into a management role in the first place??? My opinions with regard to the type of people who worm themselves into managerial positions in this country has been well voiced on this forum, this is exactly what I was talking about.

botvot

OP

Read the below link just for some background information. You need to know what you're talking about when push comes to shove.

Oh, and I thought about it long and hard: if ANYONE ever makes a comment about the clothes I choose to wear (as your TL did), it would be out with them (TL, not clothes). It is personal and unjustified. A workplace needs to be safe, not a battlefield, except maybe if you're climbing the career ladder extremely aggresively, which doesn't seem to be your problem. Even then without bullying.

http://www.hsa.ie/publisher/index.jsp?&1nID=267&nID=326

Good luck.

pow wow

Darragh29 wrote:

What if management is as bad as her if not worse??? What kind of management puts an individual like this into a management role in the first place??? My opinions with regard to the type of people who worm themselves into managerial positions in this country has been well voiced on this forum, this is exactly what I was talking about.

Yes but if she's miserable then what good is staying just to prove that the TL is carp?! Management are unlikely to side with her in any kind of discussion because she's already almost left once. She is in a bad situation and staying any longer will only make it worse.

Darragh29

ellscurr wrote:

Yes but if she's miserable then what good is staying just to prove that the TL is carp?! Management are unlikely to side with her in any kind of discussion because she's already almost left once. She is in a bad situation and staying any longer will only make it worse.

Yeah but from reading her posts, she is miserable because she has a manager/TL who is making her life hell. Other than that, I think she would be happy enough in the job if she wasn't being tormented. I'm only relaying what I did once when I was in the same position as her. If I was her now, I'd be priming the Exocets and I'd set about getting her fired because she clearly should not be working in a people management position. And that's what will happen, management will scapegoat her and either move her somewhere else or get rid of her, once the situation has been escalated from a minor "in house" HR issue to a serious legal issue with solicitors now involved. When I took this course of action, the ink was hardly dry on the solicitors letter and my manager was moved. He ended up taking a pay off to leave the company on a voluntary basis not too long afterwards. Management will only support an incompetent TL for so long, once a solicitor is involved, the TL has lost the battle and then the poker faces come out and tought decisions get made, then heads roll.