Girlfriend wears too much makeup

LegacyUser

My girlfriend wears way too much makeup. I really do mean way too much. She looks much better without it and I've told her this but she doesn't seem to believe me. When she's wearing it she looks like she is caked in orange powdery gunge, and she also covers her body in fake tan. Without it, she is much paler and has slightly rosy cheeks (she's complained about them before, maybe that's why she wears the makeup?) but it looks natural and pretty. I've tried telling her how beautiful she is without all that gunk but it hasn't sunk in yet. Whenever she stays over I insist that she cleanses thoroughly before she gets into bed, as the first time she stayed over my pillow was stained orange afterwards, so I do see her without it a lot. Sometimes she actually gets up before I do in the morning and puts it all back on again before I get a chance to see her looking 'awful' (her words, not mine) I don't know how she can think it looks better, all my friends and family seem to have commented on how much makeup she wears! But seriously like she doesn't need half of it at all you know, it's rather annoying cos much as I honestly do like the girl the serious potential of getting orange on my clothing/person puts me off all moments of intimacy it must be said. I really like her, we get on really well and she's such a laugh, she's just convinced she's horrendous looking without a layer on her face. What should I do, how do I convince her to wear less without offending her? When I tell her how good she looks, should I emphasise it's the lack of makeup?

Kell

howdoitellher wrote:

the first time she stayed over my pillow was stained orange afterwards,

Bleuuurghh!

howdoitellher wrote:

puts me off all moments of intimacy it must be said.

Explain that bit to her. Dont panic about what may or may not happen, just tell her. Overthinking it will a) think you out of it or b) make a much bigger issue of it than it is.

K-

WindSock

Tell her that her foundation is too dark and looks unnatural and obvious in the daylight. Does she not realise she looks orange? Maybe give her a gift voucher to have her make up done by a professional, the professional may suggest she wear tinted moisturiser instead of all that gunk. As for the fake tan, tell her you don't like the smell, it is really off putting.

Blitzkrieger

She could always go work for Willy Wonka.....or what boreds said.

speaktofrank

damn should not drink when reading this, Oompa Loompa....

Oryx

Shes just used to looking in the mirror and seeing herself in a certain 'made-up' way. Because shes used to it, it doesnt look ott to her, it looks normal. And for lots of women make up is armour, it makes you feel good about facing the world.

The problem with your gf as you know, is that what she sees as great, everyone else sees as overdone. Theres only one way really... and thats be straight about it. Without being offensive, tell her that from your point of view it looks quite heavy, tell her again she doesnt need it. But because shes so used to being tango colour, it would take a while for her to adjust to being pale, if she chooses to! Perhaps she would consider a new type of makeup (as has been suggested, maybe a pamper session or lesson in new styles and colours)

But be aware you are at serious risk of damaging her self esteem, her image is something shes ok with right now. At the end of the day if she really is happy with how she looks and doesnt take your comments on board, theres nothing you can do. Either live with it or leave.

HappyCrackHead

you could go all weird and at night while she's asleep use make up remover. then in the morning tell her how beautiful she looks....

oh and throw out all her cosmetics.

This is an extreme solution but no one wants to date a butterface.

Fey!

The excess makeup may well be to cover up a lack of confidence in herself; not necessarily her looks.

Do you know if any of her friends have made any comments to her about the makeup being too much? Maybe of one or two of them made a casual mention then it may help.

Or do her friends do the same thing?

As mentioned above, a trip to a professional may work wonders.

00112984

OP- how long have you two been together?

Ask any man in here how long they were with their girlfriends before they stopped making such an effort and you might be pleasantly surprised to find you just have to wait it out.

Oryx

00112984 wrote:

OP- how long have you two been together?

Ask any man in here how long they were with their girlfriends before they stopped making such an effort and you might be pleasantly surprised to find you just have to wait it out.

Good point!

Also, If you bring her on holiday and get her a natural tan, its solved for a few weeks at least and maybe she might get in the habit of wearing less?

spinandscribble

uh, hello when you first met her she had all that gunk on her face. why'd you start things with her if she looked horrible?

look tell her the make up looks awful and cheap and how your only telling her because she looks beautiful without it or with alot less.

LegacyUser

So now that you have established a relationship with her you want to change her????? If a woman came on here saying that about her other half she would be slated.

I am sure your comments to her re her makeup is affecting her already low self esteem. Accept her for what she is and does or else make way for someone who truly loves her.

LegacyUser

spinandscribble wrote:

uh, hello when you first met her she had all that gunk on her face. why'd you start things with her if she looked horrible?

We've been friends for years, since we were 12 and in first year in school, and she didn't wear makeup or have dyed blonde hair back then... Now I'm 20 and she's 19. I didn't start things with her because of the way she looks anyway, it started beacuse we're really great friends and get on so well and we'd both liked each other for ages

00112984 wrote:

OP- how long have you two been together?

Ask any man in here how long they were with their girlfriends before they stopped making such an effort and you might be pleasantly surprised to find you just have to wait it out.

We've only been together since February but I've known her for years, I know what she looks like without makeup. She started wearing it pretty heavily two or three years ago, it's not just for me, she wears it all the time!

Fey! wrote:

Do you know if any of her friends have made any comments to her about the makeup being too much? Maybe of one or two of them made a casual mention then it may help.

From what I can gather from our other school friends, everyone else thinks she wears too much makeup as well but nobody has actually said it to her in case she gets offended

HappyCrackHead wrote:

oh and throw out all her cosmetics.

Oh I've been tempted, believe me...

The gift voucher for a makeup session sounds like a good idea actually, her birthday isn't until August though so I'm going to have to come up with a good reason for getting her an out-of-the-blue gift! I'll try that and I'll also try emphasising how beautiful she is WITHOUT the makeup... Unfortunately bringing her on holiday isn't an option right now. Thanks for all the suggestions though! And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who isn't too keen on the tangoed oompa loompa look!

robnubis

Is she a whore?

if she is its ok.

LegacyUser

robnubis wrote:

Is she a whore?

if she is its ok.

Why did you even bother responding to this thread? Anyway if she was a whore she wouldn't be my girlfriend

Marksie

howdoitellher wrote:

Without it, she is much paler and has slightly rosy cheeks (she's complained about them before, maybe that's why she wears the makeup?) but it looks natural and pretty.

that may very well be it, self conscious about her rosy cheeks.

Personally i find too much makeup a turn off for several reasons.


However, i am sure there are people who specialise in different makeovers and giving advice on how to apply makeup to its best affect. Maybe treat her to something like that.

Kintarō Hattori

I feel sorry for the OP. I couldn't go out with a lady who wore too much makeup. I'm very fortunate that my better half wears nothing and looks fantastic that way.

OP has others have suggested, if it's as big a problem as you say then the only thing you can do is bring it to a head with her. She's not going to stop it for the moment just because you don't like it.

PlayGirl

you just described the way my friend used to be... she puts on make up before school, at break time, at lunch time and then in between break time and lunch time.. and lots of fake tan...

me and our other friends just kept telling her not to wear as much but she actually told us 'she liked being orange':eek: .... but after ALOT of teasing and practically pleading with her not to wear as much she doesn't anymore, still wears alot but not nearly as much as she used to.. im pretty sure she only puts it on before school and at lunch time now, big improvment!..

but i suppose its different for you seeing as you are going out with her and the fact that your not 15 and cant really just come out and say "youlook orange, step away from the foundation"....
well you could but she might be very hurt,.,,

little miss

This is a tricky one! How old is she? How long have you been going out? I'd say it kindly to her to be honest. Say that you think she looks beautiful naturally and ask why she feels she needs all the make up? Ask her to tone it down a bit? Or alternatively, treat her to a facial and make up lesson? If you are in Dublin, pm me for ideas of where to go. They could advise her what foundation to wear etc. She can still wear make up but go for a more natural look! Good luck!

Catari Jaguar

HappyCrackHead wrote:

butterface.

Lol! *steals* My new fave word!

Tell her more and more til she gets the message that you like her more when she looks natural. Compliment her and build her confidence. Or tell her everyone is calling her butterface!

Gordon

robnubis wrote:

Is she a whore?

if she is its ok.

Banned.

Blitzkrieger

KtK wrote:

Also, If you bring her on holiday and get her a natural tan,

You're forgetting women are mental. She'll bring more fake tan with her so she won't look pale on holiday.

@Lil Kitten - I don't think you really understand what butterface means........

Miss Fluff

I trained as a make-up artist. Although I chose not to do it professionally I did a really good course and have a professional qualification and I know for a fact they do one-on-one lessons over a few hours to show individuals what suits them best. Here's the linky sweetie, http://www.lamakeupacademy.com/main.htm it will only cost you €65 and I PROMISE she will never be a butterface again when she has seen her make up done by professionals. Yay.:)

Cateym

This is a very tricky situation. My little sister (18) is the exact same and no matter how many times myself or my other 2 sisters pleaded/begged/laughed at her etc etc she still wears it. I really think its a confidence thing as my little sis is sorely lacking in this area.

Like your girlf, my sis is stunning, the best looking of the lot of us by a mile but won't be persuaded to ditch the makeup. Its gone to the stage now that she looks ill without it as the sun hasn't reached her face in over 3 years.

We have even gone to the extreme of burning the lot of it one day but she just replaced it and continued as before.

I am really interested how you get on with this mate coz having tried every trick in the book and failed I'm interested to see if you succeed and how you succeed.

damonjewel

If you can afford it why not treat your girlfriend to a weekend in some leisure hotel that has a beautician as part of all the other therapeutic things available. The beautician should be able to give good advice as to what makeup suits her best.