attacked by a druken mute lesbian

growler

walking up to the newsagents this morning at 8 and this denim clad lesbian looking person hurls a small whiskey bottle at my head, which just missed me and smashed off the wall. I shouted a few choice swearwords at her but then the loon follows me into the shop, she was obviously mute coz all she could do was gargle at me and give me two fingers, I poked her with my umbrella a few times in a fairly passive way but she kept at it, so I held it like a baseball bat at made to swing it at her head, then she ran off.

Interesting way to start the day which I felt compelled to share with you all.



Must get a pointier umbrella as carrying a baseball bat to work would look odd.

Tar.Aldarion

Thanks you for the image, it's like 28 weeks later, but better.

slumped

Now I told my Momma not to go doing that sort of thing on her own.....

stovelid

What exactly is 'lesbian looking' ? Dungarees, short hair, Andrea Dworkin paperback under her arm...?

6th

Sounds like a Zombie movie alright. Why dont people use their camera phones when stuff like this happens?

Kintarō Hattori

6th wrote:

Sounds like a Zombie movie alright. Why dont people use their camera phones when stuff like this happens?

Second that! There really is no excuse in this day and age!

Heinrich

6th wrote:

Sounds like a Zombie movie alright. Why dont people use their camera phones when stuff like this happens?

Too busy poking with umbrellas perhaps?

fletch

LOL enjoyed readin that thanks

gyppo

growler wrote:

this denim clad lesbian looking person

Was she nice??

She probably was a damned zombie. One that only, er , eats women.

flanzer

Yep, like that story alright! Cheered me right up

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

ROCKMAN

My better half when to the shop this morning (having forgot to put in her false teeth) when she was attack by another customer .This freak used an umbrella as an weapon. 8 o clock in the morning, i ask you , this country is going to pot..

Karoma

Mneh. Needs more lesbian(s).

Tar.Aldarion

Hi.

Anti

Haha, good read. And i third the cameraphone thingy.

growler

Although I appreciate the need for youtubing of random less-abled, drunken early morning assaults on honest citizens, the last thing going though my (un-caffeined) mind whilst fending off dungareed zombie loons while trying to buy the paper was getting out my camera phone for the benefit of mass interweb entertainment.

However, tomorrow, on the off chance that the lesbo-zombie holds a grudge and is waiting in ambush for me, I promise to have my phone on video and ready to roll, though if it's sunny i'll have to think about the whole umbrella thing.

Anti

What about them mini umbrelas? Sure that would supprise her if you pulled out one of them from your pocket to Thwack her round the head with.

Damn toothless dungree clad crazies....

/me shakes fist

biko

Use one of them drink umbrellas. I'm sure she'd remember nights in gay clubs if you show her one of those yokes. Maybe you even win a new friend?

Hail 2 Da Chimp

growler wrote:

Must get a pointier umbrella as carrying a baseball bat to work would look odd.

Espically if it starts to rain... In my experience she was coming on to you...

Degsy

Couldnt we have a "cameraphone" thread whereby people post up pictures of bizarre things that happen to them on the way to work,standing on the luas or whatever.I'd love to see the amped-up lesbian lunging at the Op in glorious cameracolour.BTW,its not illegal to take a photograph of a person if they're in a public place and its not for advertising purposes.I showed up in a book years ago as i loitered in grafton street!

stovelid

Growler, are you sure it isn't a drunken one stand that is stalking you?

Slow Motion

Was she goodlooking or one of them nasty ugly Troglodykes ?

Plissken1

This is what camera phones and youtube were made for.

DaBreno

growler wrote:

denim clad lesbian looking person

Would ya?

growler

DaBreno wrote:

Would ya?

no chance , her personality wasn't up to much either

bolliwoodi

Anti wrote:

What about them mini umbrelas? Sure that would supprise her if you pulled out one of them from your pocket to Thwack her round the head with.

Damn toothless dungree clad crazies....

/me shakes fist

ROFL:D

LovelyTom

Well if she was a real dyke... surprised she didn't kick your ass... most of 'em are more man than me...

The Bollox

the choice of words by the OP were fantastic, they made the post