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to move or not to move

  • 12-05-2007 12:07pm
    #1
    chuci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭


    hi guys just wondering if anyone has been in this position before or can give advice. iv been going out with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we had been talking about moving in together just for the summer as it would be cheap and maybe give us an idea about how the relationship was going. but now he has just changed his mind about the whole thing and doesn't want to do it anymore.

    i feel really hurt and angry about all this it doesn't seem fair that im ready to take this step and he's not. like if we didn't get on we both live bout 30 mins away from the city we were going to move to so if we decided it wasn't working its not as if we would have been stranded. we weren't getting on much before xmas and i can understand how he could be nervous but im ready to make a real go of this and it appears that he is just not that interested. and those problems have resolved

    i don't want to force him into something ha isn't interested in because that will just make things obv worse. but my feelings are quite hurt. he did want us to go away this xmas to work in a ski resort but i would prefer to try this at home first so we wouldn't be stuck.

    bit of background info he has moved into a student house bout two months ago and has lived out of home since the start of coll i moved out last yr but am back at home now due to lack of funds. any advice would be appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    Stay home. Save your money. Keep an eye on your relationship. Give it six months more and see where you are then. I'd never be in a hurry to move in with someone.


  • #3
    Kell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭Kell


    chuci wrote:
    i feel really hurt and angry about all this it doesn't seem fair that im ready to take this step and he's not.

    What MAJD said with the added bit of, look at this as a potential silver lining. Lets say, and I am suggesting it will, the relationship goes títs up. Better that you are not living together at that point as its just another layer of complication to extrapolate yourself from.

    K-


  • #4
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    No use moving in together unless you are both ready and doing it cos its cheap probably isnt the best reason in any event.

    I am unclear.. "has lived out of home since the start of coll" i am going to take as he was living at home until recently.

    Now he has moved into a student house he may be likeing the freedom and may see moving in with you as restrictive.

    Relax about being hurt, he is just living a little, keep an eye on how things are going and take it from there. make sure any conflict has been resolved and just enjoy being with him for the now


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