money issues

greenteaicedtea

I was invited to a wedding, it's my good friend that I've known for a number of years.

She wants us to stay for breakfast after, and stay in a hotel of the place she's getting married at.

Another guest has emailed me about sharing a room with her, however she is staying 2 nights and I'm staying only one. I asked her about how that would work, and she said we would "sort the monies later" which sounds not good to me. I have brought this to her attention, and so far, three of her emails have the "sort the monies later" phrase instead of "well let's break it down like this".

The double room will cost $320 for two nights, I'm only staying one night. I think to pay for one night, for me, I would be okay with paying $80, or $100, but I have a feeling that this will end with a nasty discussion at the reception desk, unless we sort this out AHEAD of time, which she doesn't seem to want to do. I don't want to pay $160 when I only stayed one night.

I didn't ask her to do the math with me yet - after three vague emails, I just want to cancel altogether. I figure she REALLY doesn't like math, and I don't even want to discuss further.

I have debated leaving this up to karma... she is from out of town, she is probably facing a high hotel bill, maybe I should help the situation out? But maybe not!

Any thoughts? The wedding is a month away, I want to cancel soon if I'm going to.

Edit to add:

the thursday night, she is staying over for the rehearsal dinner because she is the maid of honor. I am not staying thursday.

We are both staying friday night. (so far)

matt-dublin

Give her €80 and tell her thats your half of the hotel bill before you walk into the room.

Either that or tell her you're only paying €80 for the hotel room now and see what she says.

Chances are she'll be pushed for someone to share a room with her.

Is the second night the day before or the day after.

Id its the day after and she tries to sting you for €160, stay for the second night!

Remember you're doing her a favour too.

Tar.Aldarion

Just email her with a proposal. Don't wait for her to make one.

Deediddums

It really depends I suppose - had you guys arranged to share a room some time ago, at which point you had planned to stay for both nights? In that case it's not really fair that she should have to pay €240 just by virtue of the fact that she opted to share a room with you. In which case i'd pretty much say that you should cut your losses and stay for the extra night because you really should be contributing to it anyway.

On the other hand if this was always the arrangement then it's perfectly reasonable you should only pay your part as you are in no way obliged to fork out so that somebody else can enjoy the hospitality of a push hotel for an extra night.

greenteaicedtea

It really depends I suppose - had you guys arranged to share a room some time ago, at which point you had planned to stay for both nights?

No! She made the plans, invited me to stay with her, then kind of mentioned afterwards that it was for 2 nights. She would have known I was only staying one night, the first night was for the bridal party only, she is the maid of honor.

Id its the day after and she tries to sting you for €160, stay for the second night!

The night she stays alone is the first night, the night I'm there is the 2nd, so there is a real potential for my having to pay half. I dont' want to stay for 2 nights, I could just as easily drive back and forth. I was just going to stay for the social aspect of it, not to fight over a hotel bill.

BoozyBabe

You are only entitled to pay her €80 for staying in the room, but if it was me, I'd prob offer to pay €100.
I'm a bit of a sap that way!

But, I wouldn't pay a penny more.

Email or talk to her again, don't wait for her to discuss monies.
Say you're staying for one night only, sharing the room with her & therefore you'll pay her €80 or €100, whichever you decide.

If she wants to wait until the wedding for you to give her that money, so be it, but atleast she'll be under no illusions of you paying €160.

Be straight to the point.

ntlbell

Moronic.

80e is perfectly reasonable make the offer and move on.

Why do people post this rubbish!!!

louisecm

Just e-mail her with the amount, who knows you may be worrying about things needlessly. She may not be expecting you to pay any more than 80.

Deediddums

ntlbell wrote:

Moronic.

80e is perfectly reasonable make the offer and move on.

Why do people post this rubbish!!!

Don't think it's particularly fair to call it moronic - if you think it's so stupid just don't respond.

Anyway, given that it was always the arrangement that you stay for one night only I think it's perfectly reasonable to pay for the one night and to clear it with her now. If you email her again you could say you wanted to be clear about rates etc as you weren't sure if there would be easy access to a banklink down there. Either way get your point across but make sure it's in a non-confrontational way. She may just be one of those people who is uncomfortable discussing money and has no intention of making you pay more than you should.

Faith

I'd say just email her and say something like: "Just to clarify about the hotel room, as I'm only staying for one night, I'm paying $80, right?"

ntlbell

Deediddums wrote:

Don't think it's particularly fair to call it moronic - if you think it's so stupid just don't respond.

If you think it's so unfair that I called it moronic, ignore it?

Victor

Is her room being paid for her?

ntlbell wrote:

If you think it's so unfair that I called it moronic, ignore it?

Behave! Or else http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/modutils.php?action=ban&userid=31264&forumid=127

Saintly

I would keep it short and sweet. Email her with something along the lines of 'hey, just to confirm the plans - seeing as the bill is 320 euro and I am staying just one night, I'll pitch in with 80 euros. Do you want it now or on the day?'

Ultimately she is choosing to stay in the hotel, I am sure there are guesthouses etc that would offer cheaper rates if she is trying to save a buck.

Saintly

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

what Faith and Saintly said FWIW (with a preference for the casualness of Faith's phrasing!)

Big Knox

Your over thinking this waaaay too much. Who cares? Give her €80, whatever. No need to post this. Do you honestly need advice on a simple every day situation like this?

seamus

Yep, you should only have to pay for one night. Simple as. I'd say she's avoiding the issue of the money purely so she can put her paw out for $160 dollars when the bill arrives and then feign shock/upset if you try to only pay for one night.

If she kicks up a stink, go and book yourself your own hotel room.