social phobia

LegacyUser

I have come to the conclusion that I suffer from social phobia. Certain events in my past combined with some more recent happenings have given me a very deep mistrust of other people and it is really affecting my life in a very negative way. I had to leave my last job as my communication skills were very poor and I suffered anxiety whenever dealing with others. I have often come into conflict with others and only have one or two close friends that I would trust and at this stage have even pushed these away. I now work as a self employed person and have very little contact with other people. I do not want this to continue though as I had a very loving relationship in the past and really want to meet somebody new and have a more fulfilling life in general.

What I would like to know is if anybody else has dealt with a similar issue and would have any advice on the best way to deal with it..

Victor

I'm not sure who you can talk to. I don't think there a group for people with social phobias if you know what I mean (pun not intended).

A few things to practice would be making small talk with those that you do contact - say "hi" to the postman, flirt with the cashier, whatever.

Importantly, realise that most of what you are probably feeling is multiplied ten times because you think you are alone and this is preying on you.

louisecm

I think you'd find there are probably lots of people on boards who feel they have the same problem as you, I've read a good few posts like this! Hopefully some of them will post here. Aside from that, it may be a good idea to see a counsellor about your trust issues...it is my opinion that everyone can benefit from a bit of counselling!

Kell

louisecm wrote:

it is my opinion that everyone can benefit from a bit of counselling!

Yup. OP, if the problems are as bad as you make them out to be i.e. losing a job over the way things are, you really do need to go and sort this out. Only a person trained to help you figure out the next logical steps out of your mess can help, not a bunch of strangers from the tinternet.

Best wishes.

K-

LegacyUser

'hi
I suffer from this also. I was referred to a behavioral therapist by my GP.
This started off at maybe 2 sessions a week, then once weekly.

What the therapist would do was give me a timetable with little tasks to do, like spend 1 hour in town, spend 1 hour in a coffee shop (these tasks were called "exposure") or something like that. On the timetable you would write down how you felt in these situations. The point about these exercises was the longer you were exposed to your fear/phobia the easier it was to deal with it- its a scientific thing - the fear actually peaks and then falls off.
The more you do this type of thing, the easier it will be- you change your behaviour in other words.

But it is something you work at. With the help of a good therapist you will get through this. What helped me was putting a name to my fear which helped me get over it. I cant say I am completely cured - I hav sometimes fallen off the 'wagon', but I have been able to do things I thought I would never do, like give presentations, etc.'

I was in the same situation as you are last year. Medication in combination with therpy is best. SSRIs such as Zoloft hep with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Social Anxiety as well as depression. There is NO need to have these anxiety problems. The biggest step is to overcome your fear of accepting help, educating yourself on the available options, and seeking professional help.

LadyJ

I agree with the other posters. A good therapist is really the best tool for helping you deal with a social phobia. There are so many underlying reasons as to what kind of things might have caused you to develop such a fear and the only way to get to the bottom of it all is through therapy.

Don't worry though, it is entirely possible to work through an issue such as this and come out the other side. There are no quick fixes but gradually things will start to improve.

eddyc

Social phobia is actually a pretty common mental disorder and has a very high success rate in people overcoming it completely.
I am not making light of it though, I had it quite bad myself and know what an absolute nightmare it can be , and how isolated one can feel.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is generally the best method to overcoming social anxiety, you might ask your GP about it.

There is a group in Marino if you live in dublin for social phobia. The organisation is the 'Out and about association' OANDA for short.

There is also a group that meets in Blackrock although I'm not familiar with it.

Good Luck OP

LegacyUser

'thanks to all of you for your advice. I am currently on a waiting list for counselling and just thought I'd post here to see if there was anything else I could do in the meantime. Its good to hear that a lot of people overcome this. Was prescribed the anti-depressant lexapro but the side effects were very severe and as I'm only suffering in social situations decided it wasn't worth it, thinking of ordering st. Johns wort the herbal equivalent off the internet but not sure if this would help..'

Dagon

Also give a try to EFT (teh emotional freedom technique) - apparently it's the most successful and pain free way of overcoming variour phobias, fears, etc. I've spoken to many people online who claim to have changed their lives by simply using this tapping technique

Kell

anx wrote:

I am currently on a waiting list for counselling

Why a waiting list? There are thousands of therapists out there that will only be too happy for your business.

K-

ntlbell

Kell wrote:

Why a waiting list? There are thousands of therapists out there that will only be too happy for your business.

K-

he/she is probably not paying for it.

hupyago

I have had similar problems there is help on the web for these sort of things

Indeed and coming here to pimp such serivces if not permissible.
Thaedydal

LegacyUser

ntlbell wrote:

he/she is probably not paying for it.

since I am self employed I am not only paying for it but will not get any tax relief. I went to doc and she prescribed an ssri which had bad side effects and gave me the number of a psychologist, when I rang i was told there was a 2 months waiting list, I dont want to use one of the ones from the newspaper or internet as have heard some of them arent good and reckon I need a good one tbh as some issues I have go way back...

Kell

anx wrote:

since I am self employed I am not only paying for it but will not get any tax relief. I went to doc and she prescribed an ssri which had bad side effects and gave me the number of a psychologist, when I rang i was told there was a 2 months waiting list, I dont want to use one of the ones from the newspaper or internet as have heard some of them arent good and reckon I need a good one tbh as some issues I have go way back...

If you have an account, PM me. Waiting lists?!?! Pfft.

K-

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

Maybe not too helpful; but going to Toastmasters might help you improve your public communication skills to a more acceptable level (at least you won't have to leave your next job because of it). I went there and it was very good.

An SSRI (such as Lexapro) would help you overcome the depression part of your social anxiety. You say it is a combination of past events in your life and your personal outlook. So, presumably depression is one of the route causes of your social anxiety and an SSRI is a good long-term manager of that depression. (although your doctor knows best)

Maybe for immediate stresses associated with social events you could also be prescribed something like Zanax, Lithium etc (as per your doctors advice)

I hope you find a way to deal with it. It sounds like it is having a very debilitating effect on your life.

You might also try explaining to your friends that you have come into conflict with, that you are going through a stressful period in your life, and not to let your occasional fights come between good friendships.