I just don't know anymore

LegacyUser

I don't really know what I expect to get out of posting this here but I feel like I kind of have to at this stage.

I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically I'm in my teens and due to numerous progressing illnesses I'm pretty much house-bound. I haven't been to college in months as I'm just not physically able to go because of pain/exhaustion and I've barely been able to go at all this year. My day revolves around just trying to pass the time, Watch a dvd, read a book, play some games ect. I used to enjoy playing music but just like everything else I used to enjoy I'm no longer able to do that anymore.

I'm getting loads of medical treatment and seeing loads of doctors at the moment but as of yet there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

College is definitely out the window for this year and at least the next year too. I really don't know what I'm going to do about that but right now it's not my highest priority.

The worst thing of all though is the loneliness that I feel now. It used to be that even if I wasn't able to go to college most days a week, I might have been able to go down to the local with a few mates and have a couple of drinks Friday or Saturday. But unfortunately thats no longer the case and now I think I've kind of isolated myself from everyone I used to know. They used to ring up and ask if I wanted to go for a drink or go to the cinema, but, as my health deteriorated, more and more times my answer would be "no". So, realizing that I'd probably say no the offers became less and less and have now all but disappeared. Not only have the offers of meeting up gone out but basically my contact with them has been reduced to zero. This is not just from my few friends that live nearby but every one of my old friends from college/school ect. I've become lonely and depressed and, to put it bluntly, I have absolutely no reason to get out of bed in the morning. As a matter of fact, a few months ago I had to go to hospital for a few weeks and I was actually almost glad to be there because it was a change from my usual 'existence'. How sad and pathetic is that?

Anyway, I think I'm going to end it here because I'm getting a bit upset typing this. Thanks for reading, who knows, maybe I'll feel a little bit better after getting this off my chest seeing as I've nobody else I can talk to.

Glowing

Hi, sorry to hear all of that. I think however you should do your best to keep in contact with your friends. Have you tried just calling them up for a chat? Inviting them over for a dvd? They obviously care about you if they were inviting you out all the time, but they're probably a bit lost as to what to do given your illness.

Give a friend a call - "I've been so ill recently, and although I'd love to go out with you all, I can't - perhaps you could drop over for a chat" etc ...

The longer you leave it, the harder it will be for you and your friends.

Regarding college - I don't know how much energy you'd have for this but would you consider a distance-learning course like the Open University? They have a lot of really interesting part time courses that require around 10-20 hours a week study. It would be that reason to get out of bed, and give you a qualification at the same time .....

Hope you're feeling better soon.

frizzefreckles

Glowing is right, you can still see your friends without having to go out to see them. Give them a call and say how you've missed them lately and would love to see them, arrange a night in with them.
I hope you feel better soon.

Kell

unwanted wrote:

due to numerous progressing illnesses I'm pretty much house-bound.

What illnesses do you mind me asking?

unwanted wrote:

So, realizing that I'd probably say no the offers became less and less and have now all but disappeared. Not only have the offers of meeting up gone out but basically my contact with them has been reduced to zero.

Poor show to your friends. You can get away with not calling people if the answer is always going to be no when that person is fit and healthy with naught wrong. Friends should step up to the mark if thats obviously not the case.

You could try throwing yourself at the mercy of your mates and say "why dont you come visit. I cant go out because I am fúcked with x right now, but I'd love to see you. Sorry for being so anti-social recently too".

A lot of people dont know what to do with friends that have some sort of illness, so you need to explain it to them and that they dont have to treat you differently. Make it easy for them i.e. an idiots guide to your illness.

Think of it like the broken leg syndrome. Everyone knows how to deal with someone who has a broken leg, but no one knows how to deal with someone who has been, say, raped, until they have met someone who has been raped and understand the nuances of how the person is affected by it. In order to get your friends to understand your predicament, you need to put it to them like they are understanding a broken leg.

Do it though. After reading this, text/call all of your friends and ask them to come over this weekend.

K-

KamiKazi

you say you play games, why not join a clan?
that way youll be having a laugh and a bit of banter with all the people you play games with.

bored and tired

unwanted wrote:

Basically I'm in my teens and due to numerous progressing illnesses I'm pretty much house-bound. .

I know what it feels like to be housebound, and im not too much older than yourself by the sounds of it, Im not sure what your illness is, but dont give up hope. I found that the days i felt the most depressed were also the days that my pain threshold disappeared and i couldnt get out of a chair without help.

With the nice weather i have been organising for people to call to my house just to sit out in the sun and have a chat. A few weeks ago i had a inside picnic, i bought potato salad, coldslaw ham had a bag of tomatoes and mixed leaves on the kitchen table and everyone helped themselves, few bottles of wine and the sun shinning in on us in the evening -it was lovely.

Dont be put out if you realise that some of your friends from home and college were fair weather friends and arent bothered, once you start making contact word will spread and your real friends will be only too glad to visit, and often it chears them up more than you, to see you up and about as people often fear the worst. They might also find it hard to talk to you about their social lives. They might feel they would bring you down if they mentioned who did what, who was with whom and did you see the state of so and so on friday night, but this is easily overcome by ringing them up and outright asking for some juicy gossip.

Its easy for doctors to get bogged down on the physical, so i would strongly suggest your next visit to your gp that you have a chat to him about how you feel rather than your symptoms and ailments, i cant praise my doc enough, and everytime i go in he has a box of hankies right longside the chair just incase.

feel free to pm me if you want to have a long rant, its often easier to type to a stranger than to scream to family, or just to leave me know how you are feeling and how things go over next few weeks.

blow69

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.During summer of 2005 i was practically house-bound.Not cos i was physically redundant,but because i somehow lost a lot of confidence and was feeling very sad due to some personal issues.I was only 17 at the time and I was just moping around the house all day.I was very lonely and felt like i had no one to talk to.it was the longest 3 months ever.But going back to school that September really helped me. Even though it was my Leaving cert year I found it to be anything but stressful and it turned out to be the best school year of my life.Since then life has been very good and I am once again on top.And I know you will feel like that too.

Like what was previously suggested you should invite friends over.Just one person can make all the difference.I hope you get better asap so you can continue college and start your life.

LegacyUser

are you technologically inclined at all? maybe you could take up amateur radio as a hobby - you could be sociable and still be in your house.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amateur_radio

where I live, I can hear the people on 2 metres (same range as FM radio) chatting on their way to and from work, mostly engineers, and IT folk, the odd truck driver as well. there's the shortwave aspect of it, "HF" but I've never gotten into that because I live in an apartment and I can't set up a proper antenna for it. If you're not sure, you could listen around at least, sometimes 2m is better than TV

Miss Fluff

What illnesses do you suffer from OP?

LegacyUser

Have you considered posting more on www.boards.ie?

If you are interested in books, there is a forum for that, if you are interested in music, post there. There are a lot of different academic forums such as philosophy, science, politics etc, so you can chat to people there about your college course.

LegacyUser

'I'd just like to thank all you guys for the advice you posted up here. I called a few people to come round for a few drinks and to just hang out at the weekend and it wasn't nearly half as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Plus on top of that I've felt a bit better about it all in the last few days. Thanks guys!

To Bored and tired: In some unusual way it's a bit reassuring to know that there are others around my age group going through something similar. I might have to take you up on your offer sometime so we can have a chat

Thanks again!'

Kell

Unwanted wrote:

Plus on top of that I've felt a bit better about it all in the last few days. Thanks guys!

Glad its going well. Keep it going.

Just to re-iterate. Theres no harm in sticking up your hand and saying you need/would like people around. So long as people understand that you are not going to turn into some needy muppet, they'll be happy to spend time with their mate.

K-