What to do?

LegacyUser

Hi,
I'm really worried and stressed about this. Basically I finish college this week. I'm at the end of my 4 year Science course and I am terrified about next year. I am scared I will lose touch with my friends, that we will all go our separate ways. They are the best friends I have ever had and I don't know what I would do without them. I met them all in college, the friends I had before college were treating me badly and I had to leave them.

My options are- to stay in college to do a Master's next year, or to get a job for the year and then do the Master's the year after. If I was to go back to college this year I would have to take out a loan of about 4500. However I would have friends still in college as some are in the year below me. I know I have the rest of my life to pay off this loan, I have taken and paid off a loan already in the past year (2 or 3 grand, can't remember which).

If I was to work for the year and then go back to college next year, I would not need to take out a loan. But all my friends would be finished college by then. I am so scared we will all drift apart. I know there are things I can't control but I would hate to lose touch with them. We live in different towns. I was thinking if I decide to get a job this year I could move to the university town as I have no friends in my hometown. See I am scared that if I get a job and stay in my hometown I will have no social life, that I'll be just working during the day and then sitting in alone at night. But moving out costs money and I might not be able to save up for the Master's if I do. Plus I only live a 10 minute drive away anyway.
People keep saying "but you can make new friends", making new friends does not scare me but losing the ones I already have does. We went through college together and have loads of brilliant memories, they know me better than my old friends from home ever did.

What am I going to do?

LegacyUser

'anyone???'

frizzefreckles

If these people as you said are your best friends then they will probably remain your friends. The friends I made in college are still my best friends and we live all over the country, some even went back packing for a year after college and our friendships have survived.
You have to make an effort to see each other.

Drift

Hey OP, like you I met most of my best friends in college. I still have one or two from school days but not too many (I was a lot quieter then and didn't socialise much). I finished college 4 years ago now and I still maintain regular contact with all my circle of friends from college. You won't lose contact with your friends if both you and they make an effort. However, your group of friends will almost certainly spread out across the country and probably across the world which means you won't see them as much and you won't get to go out on a mad session every week with them. Email and phone calls (and dare I say bebo) become more important for keeping in contact and then meeting up every time your paths cross or just planning a weeked meet up or something.

So basically you won't lose touch with them unless you don't put in any effort but you will probably have to expand your social circle for regular weekly socialising. I don't think you'll have much problem with this though. If you go on to do a postgrad you'll automatically make some new friends through that or alternatively if you start working you'll meet and make new friends there too.

With regard to staying in the Univeristy town. With me it was Galway and a large portion of my class from elsewhere in the country have moved here/settled down here where they went to college and I still see many of them around regularly. I can't go to a pub without meeting at least one of my old classmates. So if you enjoyed the town you went to university in you may wish to work there but don't do it just to keep track of your college mates!

LegacyUser

Asking your friends what they think, if they are as good of friends as you say, then im sure they'll offer some sort of support!

Don't feel like a dick about it either, im sure everyone of your college friends will be thinking the same thing when their last year is nearly up.

college-2007

college-2007 wrote:

Hi,
I'm really worried and stressed about this. Basically I finish college this week. I'm at the end of my 4 year Science course and I am terrified about next year. I am scared I will lose touch with my friends, that we will all go our separate ways. They are the best friends I have ever had and I don't know what I would do without them. I met them all in college, the friends I had before college were treating me badly and I had to leave them.

My options are- to stay in college to do a Master's next year,
...
If I was to work for the year and then go back to college next year, I would not need to take out a loan. But all my friends would be finished college by then. I am so scared we will all drift apart.

Please, please don't tell me you want to do a masters just to have your friends around.


My friends and I went our seperate ways after graduating but we're all still in contact and friends. If you're all such good friends, distance won't matter.

tbh

I think it's true to say that the friends you make in college are the friends you keep for life. Having said that tho, you didn't know any of those people when you started college, you were strangers who became friends - so why would it be any different in work? You'll make new friends and keep most of the old, don't worry.

greenteaicedtea

I am scared I will lose touch with my friends, that we will all go our separate ways. They are the best friends I have ever had and I don't know what I would do without them.

hmmm... I will say that you will likely lose touch with some of them, but not all. You have to make an effort to stay connected with people that you no longer see every day. I did, with a roommate when I moved out, I had no other reason to see her, so I made a point of calling regularly and we became better friends.

That being said, even if you didn't have really nice friends before, the odds are fairly high that you will probably find more nice people throughout your life, provided you are open to meeting new people. Sometimes hanging on to, or talking about your old friends all the time can prevent you from meeting new people. You have to seem open to new things.

luckat

You'll probably all follow each other into jobs - and parallel jobs at that - and keep in touch as life goes on.