Separation quandry

Tarnhows

My spouse, who is the main wage earner, has announced that she intends separating in June. I am the main carer of our children (one aged 18 and one in primary school) and only have a part-time income from self-employment and we are largely dependant on her income. The fact that I have been the main carer of our children has allowed her to build a very good career over the years through further education, often away from home.

Most recently, she says that she will allow me to continue living in the house and pay maintenance due to the fact that I am the main carer and me not being able to get another mortgage. However, she has said many times in the past that she 'would be entitled to the house and custody of the children because she earns the most money and is a woman and the courts would favour her'.

I dispute this as I have been their main carer for the last nine years and that earnings do not come into the equation when it comes to deciding custody. Although she has changed her tune most recently I fear that she will revert to her old stance and perhaps be correct in her assertion(??)

Due to the unpredicable nature of the situation, I want to pro-act to protect my interests which are to ensure that I :
1) Have custody of the children (or child as one is over 18)
2) Receive regular maintenance payments
3) Can stay in the family home

I think I am entitled to the above as I have sacrificed so much for my family and facilitated her in obtaining a career.

As a result of continuing threats going back many years I have squirelled away a substantial 'rainyday' fund which she has no knowledge of. In order to protect my income I intend seeking legal help from the Legal Aid Board but this help is subject to a means test. The thing is, even if I am entitled to assistance after disclosure of my savings, it will be on record when it comes to being assessed by the court for maintenance etc.

Because of this I thought about going to a solicitor privately but again, when it comes to going to court, my proof of income will come in the form of a Revenue Notice of Assessment which not only shows my earned income but interest received from savings also.

Is there any way of these savings not having to be disclosed?

I'm in a real quandry over this and just don't know what to do for the best - I would be grateful for any advice.

grumpytrousers

this ain't advice. at all. this is fact.

part of the rules of separation include that each person has to, regrettably, file an affidavit of means. that means telling the other side what you have and what you don't have. It's a sworn document, filed with the court and lying on it, even by omission is perjury and if you're found out, you'll be royally screwed.

you're in a frigger of a situation, mind, and you have my full sympathy. Nobody here is going to 'advise' you on a public forum on what you can/should/might do, but you'll do well to find *anybody* who'll help you commit perjury...

Nevyn

Go get legal advise.
Legal aid will be advailible to you and I suggest that you get a statement on the status of the property from the solicitor you used to purchace it.
If you are seperating I would also suggest that you try mediation to come to argreements between you if posible.

http://www.welfare.ie/foi/fammedser.html
http://www.legalaidboard.ie/lab/lab.nsf/ContainerPage?OpenForm&Legal%20Aid