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i need advice

  • 26-04-2007 3:30pm
    #1
    restin84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭


    I recently broke up w/ my girlfriend. She left the door open for a chance in the future but also didn't want to gaurantee anything. I've told her how i felt. When we got together we talked and I think I handled it like a man not a little boy by accepting how she felt and not pushing the issue of the fact that I thought we should try to work on whatever caused this breakup. I still want to be in her mind. Maybe through email or something but I don't know how long I should wait before contacting her. Any advice???????????
    Also...if people "clicked" really good in the beginning but then lost it. Can they "click" again???????????????


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    restin84 wrote:
    Also...if people "clicked" really good in the beginning but then lost it. Can they "click" again???????????????

    Yes, they probably can, depends on depth of feelings in first place.

    I'd ensure that you just maintain distance for a while. Very hard to make an informed decision on anything if one feels under pressure. So perhaps decide in your own mind you'll drop an email or put a call through in a months time and see how things go. I wouldn't be bombarding her with texts or calls, just leave her to it. You yourself might feel differently after a few weeks too.


  • #3
    dan_y
    Closed Accounts Posts: 224 ✭✭dan_y


    this is just what I would do - don't contact her at all. if there is a real connection she'll come back to you somehow, but otherwise it's just going to tear at you until whatever you had either breaks or heals. also, she'll respect you if you getting on with your life, and she won't if you pine. but the only reason I'm telling you that is because it's the exact opposite of what I did in the same situation not too long ago. go with your instincts I guess.


  • #4
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^edit: pretty much what they said.



    don't go down that road mate. Nothing you can do will influence her opinion - if she wants to break up with you, and can't find the right words, then you texting/emailing her will make her feel guilty, and I'm pretty sure she'll deal with the guilt by channelling it to anger at you.

    If she does love you and needs time, then the less you are around, the bigger "hole" in her life you'll leave.

    All texting/emailing/calling her will do is delay you moving on and raise your hopes that she'll contact you back. If she doesn't, you'll be gutted, and you'll set back your recovery process.

    It's hard, but it's in your own best interests to try not to think about her, I wouldn't contact her first anyway.

    Look, even looking at it from the angle of what's best to do to get her back - if you are texting/emailing her she'll be thinking "this guy can't survive without me" - who wants a clingy partner? Maintain silence and she'll think that you are happy on your own, and she'll want to spoil that :D


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