Going Red

LegacyUser

Hi,
From the age of 14 I have suffered from 'going red'. In this I mean, if I get into a public situation that I am uncomfortable with, my face goes red. It has always knocked my confidence and I think now is the time to try to fix the problem. If I am in work and someone unexpectedly asks me a question, I am the strawberry. If I am introduced to new people, I am same. Its ridiculous. I see other people in my situation dealing with situations without going red, yet I am unable to. Onlookers probably think I am embarrassed but I'm only embarrassed by my red face.

I know the underlying problem is usually to do with a lack of confidence and that I should try to sort this out but I have been trying for years. I'm not a particularly self-conscious person, not around my friends anyway. Its just the unexpected situations. I think its time to get help from a doctor or something.

I've heard theres an operation you can get (I think it relieves pressure in the face or something). Did anyone suffer from this problem in the past and have fixed it? If so, how?

Thanks

LegacyUser

Redsedfred, oh yeah i've the same problem...! Even thinking of blushing makes me go red! i hate it but i've gotten over the embarassment. Everyone feels awkward when there a teenager.Take it from me, just don't think about it. People don't notice it, honestly. You feel your face is on fire, but it's usually just a little colour. Please don't let it affect you cos no-one notices...you don't notice others, so this just proves my point!

Catari Jaguar

Male or female? I have some advice that'l work if you don't mind wearing make up...

There's a make up stick like a concealer, it's kind of a green colour, you put it on and then a normal foundation over it. It stops the red coming through. You can ask in chemist if they have it. But I'm sure if you google your "condition", you'll find some answers.

Good luck. But don't worry about it. I'm sure you're getting yourself worked up and making it worse. Just relax!

fits

afaik this is a genuine medical condition... and can be treated.... with botox no less. ( I could be completely wrong about this)
Worth doing some research anyway, and talk to your gp

LegacyUser

I am male. I have just started a new job and my reddness stops me from being myself when I meet new people. Think I might hit the doc's but I know he'll say its an emotional thing and to forget about it and it'll go away but after years of trying that I need a better solution (one thats works).

Faith

When I'm in an unpleasant situation, I go really red, and it doesn't calm down for hours. It used happen in 6th year when my Irish teacher would ask me hard questions in preparation for the oral, it happens when I have a fight with someone, when I get scared... Basically whenever I get worked up. It's more than blushing, but I've never heard of there being anything you can do about it.

impr0v

Blushing is a defense mechanism, triggered when you feel you're in a threatening situation. It's a mimicing of the flush induced by sexual excitement, so as to deflect the perceived aggression into sexual attraction, or failing that, confusion.

All you need to do (not easily done) is realise that you aren't actually being threatened in the situation and condition yourself to react differently.

Saintly

My cousin was also a social blusher - put her under any kind of spotlight - even with people she knew well and she blushed. She found it very upsetting and eventually visited a psychotherapist who sorted her out in three sessions of hypnosis. It has worked very well for her. From what she described, the guy basically had her imagine herself not blushing and then taught her a few simple skills to prevent it happening.

rediguana

My gf blushed through her teens. She doesn't anymore, guess she grew out of it. She did an "Avatar" course and reckons it helped her.

boffin

I sufferred from this as well from fourteen until about 20 - would go REALLY red - my face would just burn up in seconds and there was no hiding it - even with heavy makeup caked on it wouldn't hide it.

What help me was that I did a presnetation course where I was given a topic that I knew nothing about and told to stand in front of a group of people and talk for three minutes. I managed to get through it and felt really confident afterwards. If I could do that then speaking to people in a general situation would be fine. People are mainly good and they are not out to make fun of you for blushing. They do not think bad of you for blushing either. For me the key to stop me blushing was finding something that increased my confidence. Now I stand in front of big groups of people quite regulary to make presentations so don't worry you won't blush forever. Still happens occasionally but I can deal with it now.

From a fellow redser!!!!

empirix

Meditate! Read some work on Budhism and read whatever you feel is relevant in your life, whilst remaining catholic of course(i find some buddhist stuff a bit brainwashing and tbh honest just wrong but the majority of it is excellent.
Will give you confidence and well being, understand the world is full of gob****es, theres nothing to be overawed about when dealing with them:)

verys|owey

god i always get red in my face wehn i talk to new freinds jesus

sometimes even when posting on boards lol

x Purple Pawprints x

Yeah I have the same problem OP.. I just try not to think about it but as you probably know yourself that's not always successfull. I have heard of people imagining water when they feel themselves going red. I've never actually tried it but... It might work.

- J

The Queen

OP I'm the same... I don't really get the feeling of embarrasment, but once there is attention on me, I go very red. You'd swear I was mortified going by my face! It's really annoying because I like being the centre of attention!!

Lil Kitten wrote:

There's a make up stick like a concealer, it's kind of a green colour, you put it on and then a normal foundation over it. It stops the red coming through. You can ask in chemist if they have it. But I'm sure if you google your "condition", you'll find some answers.

i've heard of that too... Would use it only I don't wear foundation!

LegacyUser

'I was having a look on the net about an operation you can get to reduce blushing and sweating. Its called ETS I think. I am off to the doctors tomorrow to ask her advice. I will mention ETS to see what response I get. I will also mention hypnosis, my prefered option.'

LegacyUser

'So I visited the doctor. She was amazed when I suggested surgery, e.g. ETS. She said it is dangerous/ lot of side effects and I could loose the power in my arm if it went wrong. I explained that I need to do something. I suggested hypnosis and she said even that was a bit drastic. She said (expectedly) that its a confidence issue. She asked me to try other things before I considered any drastic moves. I said I would. She recommended I visit a pyschologist, or what ever you call them, that deals with stress and confidence issues. She said she would call me when she got details of a good one. I have no idea how much it would cost but I'm definitely up for it. I even felt more confident when I left the surgery. So I'll wait to see who she recommends and give that a go. I'll go into it with an open mind, confident it will work. What harm can it do?'

seastar

I used to go red constantly during my teens, really held me back so I completely understand where you are coming from.
I've done a few courses over the years that helped me to get over it. It wasn't the focus of the course so I was really surprised when I stopped going red, so much so that I can now give presentations without worry or fear of going red. If you want more details about any of the courses, send me a pm.

Talliesin

impr0v wrote:

It's a mimicing of the flush induced by sexual excitement, so as to deflect the perceived aggression into sexual attraction, or failing that, confusion.

Why blushing is so damn sexy.

Which is a silver lining for the OP, I suppose.

LegacyUser

'The doctor rang me back this morning. She said she had a chat to my usual doctor and he suggested taking a blood test first to see if I have any problems there. He also suggested I use medication called beta blockers for a couple of weeks to see if I see any difference. So I am going to be posted a prescription for beta blockers and also take the blood test. I am wary of taking pills that 'make me more confident', as I know thats a psychological thing but I'm going to trust the doctor. Hopefully I will see a difference but in saying that, I wouldnt mind seeing a counsellor once to see if theres a natural way to gain more confidence.. We'll see.'

lizzyvera

I go really frightningly red sometimes and I'm not shy at all. Once I blush, it takes hours to go down.

Running hands under cold tap and going into the cold not wearng much helps a bit.

jdivision

Lil Kitten wrote:

There's a make up stick like a concealer, it's kind of a green colour, you put it on and then a normal foundation over it. It stops the red coming through.

Would be very careful about the amounts you use of that, a female friend of an ex-girlfriend used to use that and basically it looked like she had mould growing on her face. Really weird.

Anyhow OP I used to be the exact same. I got over it by putting myself in situations which I would previously shied away from such as speaking in front of a class. Can still happen me a bit when I'm chatting up girls but aside from that I'm over it. Last year I stood up in front of 35 people, about five of whom I knew, to give a speech related to my job and got through it without any problem. Such a change from the kid who used to have to get other people to read out his work in class in secondary school because he would go red and stutter!

SarahSassy

Talliesin wrote:

Why blushing is so damn sexy.

Which is a silver lining for the OP, I suppose.

I 100% agree!!! It comes across as charming

PinkPrincess26

SarahSassy wrote:

I 100% agree!!! It comes across as charming

totally agree as well. i think it is very very cute.......... so use it to your advantage and stop worrying about it

LegacyUser

OP, This thread really strikes home with me. One of my 'fondest' 6th class primary school memories is when one of my class mates exclaimed, after the teacher had unexpectedly directed attention to me, "Haha, look at ********, he's like a strawberry!" I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've gone through the exact same scenario. It's affected me through all of my school-life, which I dropped out of early thanks to a healthy dose of no self-esteem.

I'm a guy, fair skinned with blonde hair. So, you can probably imagine the slightest colour change is highly contrasted. And knowing this while it's happening makes things only worse.

I'm 35 now, and I'm still drifting from job to job. I'm more confident now than I have ever been, but I still have those unexpected moments when I can feel the heat levels rising. To the poster who said that a little heat can be felt without any visible change in colour, well that may very often be the case, but when you can feel the beads of sweat beginning to form and roll on your forehead, you just KNOW it's highly visible.

I'm very grateful to this thread. I always thought that my redness was as a direct result of sensitivity levels or something. At least now, the next time I go through it, I can say that my 'beaconing' head is a medical condition.

I used to let this affect whether I would allow myself to go into certain situations for fear of going red. It does become eaiser, and you will become more confident as you age.

chuci

rightsedred wrote:

'He also suggested I use medication called beta blockers for a couple of weeks to see if I see any difference. So I am going to be posted a prescription for beta blockers and also take the blood test. I am wary of taking pills that 'make me more confident', as I know thats a psychological thing but I'm going to trust the doctor.'

beta blockers are to help regulte blood pressure so if you start turning red because your bp goes up hence the use of the beta blockers. sounds a bit drastic to me to have you on that medication but i guess its something to discuss with your doc. i go red all the time i meet new people and sometimes in class up until bout3rd yr in coll. still go red and stuff when i have to approach new young (hot) patients my face lights up like a christmas tree no joke.
era just have to muddle through with it i find running my wrists (where the veins are) under cold water for five mins works very well and just take a few deep breaths. my boyf used say alright that a flushed expression was sexy never really saw it myself but there ya go.