How to survive a zombie attack?

magick

I was talking a friend, describing how his office has no provisions in the event of Zombie attack, no knives or guns, food supplys.

So how would u stock up in the event of a zombie outbreak?!

Binomate

The solution is cans of beans. Bean fortress, beens for food, cans of beans for weapons. I've got the address of a sporting riffle shop I'd make my way to in any case.

Ruen

Classic, get yourself all kitted out in tactical gear, loads of guns, make your way to the nearest shopping centre and just wing it from there. Basically your plan should be loosely based on the classic zombie films

Binomate

Ruen wrote:

Classic, get yourself all kitted out in tactical gear, loads of guns, make your way to the nearest shopping centre and just wing it from there. Basically your plan should be loosely based on the classic zombie films

Yeah, but if you do this, make sure you shoot the guy who's beeing akward (like the boat owner in dawn of the dead). They're usually the one's who fuck things up.

Ruu_Old

One of these.

aidan_dunne

Whatever you do, don't go to the pub. It might seem like a good idea at the time and a perfect place to hole up for a while (plenty of drink and salty snacks to keep you going) but you'll inevitably end up a sitting duck!

Ruen

Binomate wrote:

Yeah, but if you do this, make sure you shoot the guy who's beeing akward (like the boat owner in dawn of the dead). They're usually the one's who fuck things up.

Yeah, defintely, get them out of the way as soon as you can. Those fcuckers only wreck things for everyone else:D

Pyr0

Take no chances with ANYONE that has been bitten, ya know yourself, the one that gets bitten and continues to say they're fine "It's just a scratch" ends up tearing the heart out of the hot chick or your best friend, leaving you to go on a zombie killing rampage in revenge.

Or failing that, steal some sort of military armored vehicle ! I'd love to see zombies try to break into one of those with their bare hands ! All you have to do is sit back and relax, then drive through the hordes when you get bored !

Deliverance

magick wrote:

I was talking a friend, describing how his office has no provisions in the event of Zombie attack, no knives or guns, food supplys.

So how would u stock up in the event of a zombie outbreak?!

Lots of beer. Get really drunk and stagger around and mumble incoherently and go looking for meat (kebabs),zombies won't be able to tell the difference, zombie outbreaks every friday night in town, don't need a gun just shout "there's an empty taxi".

biko

Shaun ftw

KTRIC

Eh, just run away. Everyone knows zombies can't run. :rolleyes:

HammerHeadGym

KTRIC wrote:

Eh, just run away. Everyone knows zombies can't run. :rolleyes:

That was true in the olden days man, but todays zombie is an upwardly mobile, insatiably hungry killing machine. I'm with the armoured vehicle suggestion.

Dragan

Are we talking slow zombies or speedy bastards????

Kimbot

Zombies are fast Mofo's!! TBH iw would get myself an ould sniper rifle, a nice high wall to position myself on and pop them from a distance. Then if they decide to get smart with driving etc I will take out a boozoka(sp) and blast them out of it!! On top of that then I would find the hottest chick possible that isn't infected and tell her we are the only 2 survivours and we HAVE to repopulate the world!!

c - 13

Shaun: Where's safe? where's familiar?
Ed: Where can I smoke?
[Shaun and Ed pause then slowly make a realization]
Shaun: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?
Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee!
[Shaun and Ed clang weapons together]

I had this discussion recently with a few people and the unanimous decsion was to head to our local hardware chain, which is conveniently located next door to a supermarket and across the road is a Huntin' & Fishin' store.
Heavy shutters on the store, a barricaded upstairs area to retreat to and roof access, supply of food/drink close by, full of weapons, possibility of guns/knives close by, seemed about the best idea.

Slow Motion

Deliverance wrote:

zombie outbreaks every friday night in town, don't need a gun just shout "there's an empty taxi".

Pure Genius

frizzefreckles

I'd go the Shaun of the Dead route and hide out in the local until the army arrived.

Goolay

Here's a survival guide:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ynXBMgLEbM

If there really is a Zombie outbreak though, make sure to bring lots of Ink Ribbons.

Burning Eclipse

Am I the only person who instantly thought of dead rising, or for non gamers, resident evil. Both games deal with the zombie outbreak event, dead rising is set in a shopping mall, resident evil, kind of everywhere. But ya, I'd head to my mates house in killaloe, load up on guns and ammo and then head to the nearest hardware store!! Sledgehammers all the way! And guns!

Dragan

Obviously the whole "hole up somewhere" plan is one of the best, and considerations like weapons, ammo, food, a vehicle and other such things are important.

However, as every zombie film has shown us, some stupid ****er will do something stupid and get you bitten.

So, who would you leave behind?

The Hill Billy

Dragan wrote:

So, who would you leave behind?

The trick is not to leave anyone behind. Take even the most useless people with you (e.g. HR managers, beauty counter assistants, chuggers, Progressive Democrats, etc.) - the more the better actually. These can then be fed to the zombies to keep them busy munching away until the troops arrive.

Even better if you toss them off high-rise buildings & then hopefully flatten some zombies when they land.

Dont be at yourself

Pick up a copy of World War Z - a fictional account of a war between zombies and humans. Included tactics are hiding in castles, perfecting an anti-zombie martial art and blowing them to pieces whilst Iron Maiden blasts out from speakers.

Feral Mutant

Assuming these are the Night of the Living Dead type zombies:
"I just got attacked by a mob of zombies."
"How did you get away?"
"Well fortunately, I was running and they were shuffling."

If not:

Hill Billy wrote:

The trick is not to leave anyone behind. Take even the most useless people with you (e.g. HR managers, beauty counter assistants, chuggers, Progressive Democrats, etc.) - the more the better actually. These can then be fed to the zombies to keep them busy munching away until the troops arrive.

You don't have to be faster than the zombies, you just have to be faster than your friends.

Alternatively, go up a floor and take a sledgehammer to the stairs.

SimpleSam06

For zombies you generally need to hole up till the initial feeding frenzy has died down. Forget guns, they'll only break and ultimately draw attention to you with their racket. You want punch knives, two of them, or weld a couple of nine inch nails to a couple of knuckledusters. Straight in, straight out, zombie down. You can take them out as fast as you can rabbit punch. The jury is still out on whether you should go with needle shaped blades for swift retraction, or broad blades for guaranteed brain destruction.

In terms of body protection, the only thing zombies have is teeth, really, so decent leather would be enough to hold them at bay. Maybe a motorcycle helmet with a chin strap as well. For excursions, you'll need to mimic Roman infantry tactics, get broad shields and at least a half dozen people - the more the merrier of course.

For wiping out the plague of tomb-herd, you need a narrow corridor of some kind with a pit dug under it. Set up a deadfall (wokka wokka), a gate at one end, and a bait cage at the other, and lure them in. When its full, close the gate behind them, and drop them into the quicklime or whatever.

thelordofcheese

NekkidBibleMan wrote:

Pick up a copy of World War Z - a fictional account of a war between zombies and humans. Included tactics are hiding in castles, perfecting an anti-zombie martial art and blowing them to pieces whilst Iron Maiden blasts out from speakers.

And the Zombie survival guide by the same author. My plan involves gathering as much food and weapons and getting to the arran islands, not even zombies would want to go there.....

Rhyme

Office block, top floor, supplies, weapons (both blunt and of the firing type) and then you block the stairs with filing cabinets, steel desks, chaff workmates and partitions.

That or hide out in a boat, zombies can't swim.

Binomate

Hill Billy wrote:

The trick is not to leave anyone behind. Take even the most useless people with you (e.g. HR managers, beauty counter assistants, chuggers, Progressive Democrats, etc.) - the more the better actually. These can then be fed to the zombies to keep them busy munching away until the troops arrive.

Even better if you toss them off high-rise buildings & then hopefully flatten some zombies when they land.

Oooh. Forgot the meat shield tactic. It works well in Call of Duty, and World of Warcraft. Don't see why a meat shield shouldn't work in real life. The first wave of the meat shield would be ginger kids because nobody likes gingers, not even zombies.

Wacker

I just finished reading the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, that was mentioned above. Survival really comes down to knowing how many zombies you're up against. If it is just a few, alert the authorities and make sure they know to use head-shots.
Against thousands, get a lot of supplies together and stay put in the upstairs of your house, and destroy the stairs, as Zombies can't climb. A prison, an oil-rig or a military base would be a good place to get to if you can, but don't travel more than is neccessary.
In a zombie dominated world, you need to have seen this coming, and taken appropriate measures beforehand. This means getting a bunch of people togethar and taking off to an uninhabitated island, growing your own crops and waiting the years it takes until the zombies decay.

Necronomicon

Wacker wrote:

I just finished reading the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, that was mentioned above. Survival really comes down to knowing how many zombies you're up against. If it is just a few, alert the authorities and make sure they know to use head-shots.
Against thousands, get a lot of supplies together and stay put in the upstairs of your house, and destroy the stairs, as Zombies can't climb. A prison, an oil-rig or a military base would be a good place to get to if you can, but don't travel more than is neccessary.
In a zombie dominated world, you need to have seen this coming, and taken appropriate measures beforehand. This means getting a bunch of people togethar and taking off to an uninhabitated island, growing your own crops and waiting the years it takes until the zombies decay.

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-6021215-6140127?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177504173&sr=8-2

Terrific read

Totally different to what I was expecting, it's not actually meant to be funny, he's so serious about it!

Marksie

I'd be banjaxed, i work in the civil service so you wouldn't be able to tell the difference

Corkette

Wacker wrote:

In a zombie dominated world, you need to have seen this coming, and taken appropriate measures beforehand. This means getting a bunch of people togethar and taking off to an uninhabitated island, growing your own crops and waiting the years it takes until the zombies decay.

Best suggestion so far. It's all about preperation to the point where you can outlast the zombies.

I just read "I am Legend", which is vampires I know, but it raises the point that if everyone else in the world is undead except you, YOU'RE not normal anymore, you're the freak.

DaBreno

* Dont forget to kill the guy who is only looking out for himself. He usually f*cks it up for everyone.
* Never investigate noises on your own.
* dont get cocky. The cocky suffer the worst deaths.
* If you walk backwards more than 3 steps, chances are high you will be attacked from behind by one or more zombies.
* Stay away from the FCA, they will have degenerated to a useless crew of gun-wielding hicks.
* Save the last Bullet for yourself!

Blitzkrieger

Never, ever say "When all this is over....".

I think you can't go wrong with the classic out of town shopping centre. That or that ALDi transport hub near Charleville. Must be loads of **** in there.

It depends on what type of zombies we're on about

Is it the original sluggish and slow zombies? Your best bet is to keep your distance and to be fit enough to be able to run. Fat people are more or less screwed.

If it's the Dawn of the Dead Remake zombies? Run like crazy. Don't get cornered

R0ot

Head for the nearest shopping centre, barricade yourself in and kill any zombies still inside.

Fanny Cradock

For us living in Ireland:
Boat over to England;
Head towards the nearest military base;
Hop in a Challenger tank.

Pew! Pew!

Crucifix

Deleted User wrote:

If it's the Dawn of the Dead Remake zombies?

I think the term is Zoombies.


Thank you, Gary Larson

Ruen

Fanny Cradock wrote:

For us living in Ireland:
Boat over to England;
Head towards the nearest military base;
Hop in a Challenger tank.

Pew! Pew!

Well instead of going all that way just go to a military base in this country, at least if they dont let you in you'll know where you are.

Steyr

Cillit Bang! Obviously! Bang!! And The Dirt Is Gone!:D

Steyr

Fanny Cradock wrote:

For us living in Ireland:
Boat over to England;
Head towards the nearest military base;
Hop in a Challenger tank.

Pew! Pew!

We have Tanks too you know.

Ruen

Yeah, why would you go to England. You'd be taking a bigger risk trying to find a boat to get England when all you need is a car to get to an army barracks

The_Minister

Firstly I'm going to go against the slow-moving ones, because they make more sense.

So:
1. Hole up, and wait for feeding frenzy to be over, keeping food and water in containers (especially water as it would soon be contaminated)
2. Turn off Ipod, so can hotwire battery to keep radio on when electricity dies.
3. Arrange blankets for myself for when central heating goes.
4. Knock out stairs to stop zombie encroachment.
5. Establish
(a) fall-back area, for when zombies encroach further, and break through first-line.
(b) Sleeping area, safer then the normal area, as you are more vulnerable when asleep.
(c) killing-area, to thin zombie numbers.
6. Sharpen stick or long pole. Let zombies congregate at bottom of stairs, use pole to pierce the eyes in their upturned faces, penetrating through to the brain (therefore never run out of ammo)
7. Keep killing, but ensuring that other zombies have time to eat corpses stopping them from piling up, therefore being able to reach me.
8. Wait until I run out of food, then open my veins.

Endasaurus

Hill Billy wrote:

Take even the most useless people with you (e.g. HR managers, beauty counter assistants, chuggers, Progressive Democrats, etc.)

Ha! The PDs are prime zombie targets tbh

DeVore

Personally I'd go to Red Vs Blue and rip off their question.... :rolleyes:


http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/archive/episode.php?id=226

DeV.

Deliverance

Heres a freaky suggestion, maybe 99.9% of us are zombies already, we just don't know it. Stick Einstein, Newton and Plato in a room full of scumbags (about about 3 thousand or so, based on zombie movie ratio of survivors and zombies) add a few kegs of beer and some spirits and see who survives.

Personally if a real zombie attack ever happened I think I would be fcuked as I think I would just go insane, and anyway where the f, would you get loads of guns in Ireland unless your a scumbag anyway? Does anybody get the irony in this?

WindSock

I will protect myself by getting my hymen sewn up, thus re-virginising myself and rendering me safe from all the horrors.

bug

flame throwers.

Perhaps just 'cos I've always wanted one anyway.

Thrill

Have my brain removed, thus depriving the zombies of their staple diet.
Sensing i have no brain, they should let me go about my business in peace.

Alter-Ego

Get best mate.
Go to mams.
Kill stepdad
Go to ex's, get her and her annoying friends.
Go to pub and wait for it all to blow over.


I live in the country so i'd be relatively safe.

Jonesy3110

The ONE AND ONLY thing to do in case of a Zombie attack is to eat some of Jonesys Free Pie, which you can get by clicking the link in my signature. Seriously >> DO IT!!