Was this wrong of me?

LegacyUser

Hi,
Bit of a dilema, I was out last night, bumped into this guy and without saying anything knew there was an instant connection. I let it go, then he starts talking to my friend and spends a good while of the night chatting to her and flirting, but looking at me. At one stage, we were both alone and talking and he'd told me that he felt something towards me and I was literally melting, there was a very instant rapport between us. I actually tingle thinking of him. However my friend clearly liked the guy too and I asked him outright, he said that it was me he wanted. I was sick to my stomach and have never fallen so instantly for someone. We were holding hands etc, which my friend saw. In the end I had to say to her would she be offended if I kissed him, would it ruin our friendship, she said no that she would tell me. I can't help feeling like I let her down though, this guy is amazing and I hav never felt like this with anyone. He rang me this morning and I am besotted.

So what im asking is, what do ye think re the friend situation? Am I awful and what can I do to ease any possible tension. I had to go with my gut instinct, and I hope she sees it too. A general opinion, advice would be great.

_Kaiser_

All's fair in love and war as they say..

If you like him, and he likes you then I don't see a problem. You (both) only met him last night right? It's not like you're stealing her boyfriend, or an ex, or someone she's been interested in for a while and confided in you about.

I say go for it and enjoy The fact he rang this morning too is a good sign..

davyjose

go with it, go with it, go with it! How many times does something like that happen? How much of a waste would it be to pass him up, just because your friend didn't get a lousy snog?
I know it seems like you're dumping on your buddy, but your not. what claim did she really have - esp. as he made it clear he has no interest in her? It's not even like he's her ex!
Seriously, don't blow it.

LegacyUser

thanks guys, had a chat with girl in question today, and things are fine. She understands. My only problem now is he and I live on separate continents! Typical!

MojoMaker

Get over it quickly is the best thing. Plenty of guys at home with whom you can have a proper relationship. People far away or from other parts always seem more exciting.

Ruu_Old

Go for it and have fun. If you want tips on long term relationships, don't hesitate to ask (here or via PM, you will have to register for that though). I've been through one and survived. Good luck.

Peter Collins

..ah the first flushes of love, how I remember it

davyjose

besotted wrote:

My only problem now is he and I live on separate continents! Typical!

Ha ha, I don't believe it - my girlfriend lives on another continent(she's moving here at the end of the summer). My cousin is also in a similar situation. It's not easy, but with patience and effort, it can work. And it can be very special. It makes you appreciate things.
Be careful, it can be hard, so don't go any further if you think you can't handle it, but best of luck either way

LegacyUser

'Thanks again for your replies. After the phone call from him earlier(which confirmed his good nature) I was hoping that we could arrange to meet tonight but he doesn't have his own phone here and is leaving this week and I haven't heard anything. I just hope he gets in touch, evn if it's to say bye. I would never normally be so expectant of someone after meeting but arrh it's different with him. Quite disapppointed:('

SarahSassy

MojoMaker wrote:

Get over it quickly is the best thing. Plenty of guys at home with whom you can have a proper relationship. People far away or from other parts always seem more exciting.

Have been there and worn the t-shirt. Do not waste your time on this. Its almost impossible to make LDR's work even if you lived on the same continent for a few years at the start.....

Ruu_Old

besotted wrote:

'Thanks again for your replies. After the phone call from him earlier(which confirmed his good nature) I was hoping that we could arrange to meet tonight but he doesn't have his own phone here and is leaving this week and I haven't heard anything. I just hope he gets in touch, evn if it's to say bye. I would never normally be so expectant of someone after meeting but arrh it's different with him. Quite disapppointed:('

If you want to see him find out a way before he goes. Long distance relationships can work but you both have to be into it, it has to work both ways. It is hard work but if you want to be together then of course it can work. I was apart from my wife for a few years (me in Ireland and her in US, 3,500 miles away and she was -6 hours behind) and we are happily married now, nearly 3 years.

It can work, don't let anyone tell you that it won't. Best of luck and don't find yourself regretting not seeing him before you go.

LegacyUser

'Don't think there's much chance of anything now, as he hasn't been in contact since really surprised:( He's on business so quite busy and away home by now but afaik returnign shortly. He's got my info so it's up to him now. Kinda distracted me from work this week. Oh well cheers guys, c'est la vie!'

Marksie

besotted wrote:

c'est la vie!'

best attitude... accept it and if he contacts fine, if not, well fish and sea come to mind

davyjose

SarahSassy wrote:

Have been there and worn the t-shirt. Do not waste your time on this. Its almost impossible to make LDR's work even if you lived on the same continent for a few years at the start.....

With all due respect, I would say that just means you can't make LDR's work.