A little advice

LegacyUser

Hello there,

I'm unregged.
I would like some advice on something.
I met this girl about a year ago after i broke up with an ex. We texted a bit but then stopped, all forgotten about.

Then a couple of weeks ago i was in a pub, and she saw me. I then spotted her a bit after, but didn't do anything, she kept staring over smiling. She then came up to me and we got chatting and she was saying that i looked really well etc (as did she). She seemed really happy to see me and kept calling me something, like the silver lining or something. We talked for a bit, and she was saying that she had seen me around a bit but i never said hello to her (i dont remember seeing her at all). Anyway she put her number in my phone and said we should go for something to eat for lunch the next day.

The next day i text her but we didn't end up meeting up as we were kinda busy. We've been texting really often since. I told her i really liked her etc but she said she had just broken up with a b/f of a year and didn't really wanna get in a relationship as she just gets hurt.

Anyway, there was this other bloke she really likes for a long time and she's been a bit upset over him as he's off somewhere and whatever else.

She texts me alot and i her, she's been to my place a few times watching movies etc (only in my room as there's no dvd player in the house apart from mine). She was kinda cuddling into me etc, and we've been out on a week night once but we havn't kissed or anything.

Then she was saying that her bed is much better then mine or something and that i should go to where whe's from and check it out. ( i dont think she means sexually).

Anyway, she invited me up to hers next weekend, and she's saying that she's really excited etc..

Now all i want to know is:-
Have i just made a very hot girl a friend? Like does she think i'm really nice and just wanna hang out with me and really enjoys my company?

Or does she actually like me? Because i don't have hardly any friends who are girls that i havn't had anything with if you know what i mean (that i had any interest in).

I just want to know what you think so i dont go up there, get drunk and try something and she gets pissed off and said i already told you!.

Bit long winded but i just dont wanna make a balls of anything.

Alter-Ego

Ask her how she feels about you, maybe?

unregedit wrote:

Then she was saying that her bed is much better then mine or something and that i should go to where whe's from and check it out. ( i dont think she means sexually).

She does imo.

Icequeen

Unregedit wrote:

I just want to know what you think so i dont go up there, get drunk and try something and she gets pissed off and said i already told you!.

Maybe she does just want a friend, just don't get drunk and there's less chance of you getting your signals mixed.

SarahSassy

You wont know til that moment and as Icequeen said dont get drunk.....

I cant imagine she is inviting you up to be friends... Most girls know that fellas would not be great at being new platonic friends (I hear the roars of discontent from the mail posters) so I think she is interested in more and may be trying to give you the hint. I think as you didnt kiss her she is not sure how you feel but take it slowly.

Piste

Man I hate it when you can't meet up with a guy or hug him or whatever cos they'll think you mean something by it.

OP Just ask her straight out so you don't go getting the wrong idea and making a tit of yourself.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

it's not our fault, you're all just teases

SarahSassy

Piste wrote:

Man I hate it when you can't meet up with a guy or hug him or whatever cos they'll think you mean something by it.QUOTE]

I agree 100%. I think men in general are fab but this aspect of them is just plain annoying.

Good advice - do ask her upfront but maybe before you go visit her???

SarahSassy

Mordeth wrote:

it's not our fault, you're all just teases

Is that the best you can do? Not exactly a novel response

CrazyPJ

My money says hot to trot and she's making the running so you just follow. Noooooooooo boooze.

pj

Kell

Unregedit wrote:

I just want to know what you think so i dont go up there, get drunk and try something and she gets pissed off and said i already told you!

Dont do a thing. Wait until she comes on to you.

Wimmin, listen up- if some bloke invites you to his room, cuddles up to you and says his bed is more inviting than yours, dont fúckin tell me you wont think something is going on.

In this specific instance, its AOK for the OP to be confused so do the lad a favour and lay off the "its soo annoying that the bloke gets the wrong impression" shíte.

Talk about double frickin standards. Most of ye would argue the toss to someone asking "he contacts me five times by text and then nothing. Is he interested"?

FFS.

K-

Beetlebum

I agree with Kell on this one. Any girl know that if she says to a bloke 'Oh, my bed is so much better than yours, you should try it out!'...he's gonna think cha-ching! I'm in here....and rightly so. Way too many women love the attention they get from guys but when it comes to the crunch they back down and act surprised and 'hurt' that the guy tried it on even though they've been shoving their tits in his face. Teases, pathetic!!

OP - I reckon she likes you but I wouldn't make a direct move. Flirt with her and see how she responds. If she flirts bakc, go for it. Also, you'll know by how she's dressed if she's interested or not. If she's wearing alot of perfume and make up, she's into you more than likely..

Kell

Beetlebum wrote:

Also, you'll know by how she's dressed if she's interested or not

Kells picturing silky PJ bottoms and one of those strappy top things. Arrrggghh. Think I have busted a hole in my desk too!

K-

PS- Still avoiding the ex and the F'Buddy, Beetles?

Beetlebum

Kell wrote:

Kells picturing silky PJ bottoms and one of those strappy top things. Arrrggghh. Think I have busted a hole in my desk too!

K-

PS- Still avoiding the ex and the F'Buddy, Beetles?

Sure am Kellster...don't know what I was thinking creating all that drama for myself....easy street, that's where I wanna be living...I mean that in the cleanest, most unslutty way possible...*wink*...

Kell

Beetlebum wrote:

easy street, that's where I wanna be living...I mean that in the cleanest, most unslutty way possible...*cough*...

You'll find me sliding <ahem>, walking up your easy street anyday

K-

aye

if you dont go for it soon, you will end up in the friend zone. you should make your intentions clear. just tell her you thinks she is sexy or something. you can easily slip it in somewhere in the conversation.

Brown_Eyed_Girl

Beetlebum wrote:

'Oh, my bed is so much better than yours, you should try it out!'...

Personally as a 'gurl' if I said that to a guy and he didnt try it on I would be very disappointed .............. but thats just me :eek:

Beetlebum

Brown_Eyed_Girl wrote:

Personally as a 'gurl' if I said that to a guy and he didnt try it on I would be very disappointed .............. but thats just me :eek:

Exactly!! I'm a girl too and I'd never say that to a guy unless I was interested in showing him more than my polyester sheets!!

LegacyUser

Ok thanks for the all the replies.

She's been texting me saying she's making me dinner etc and we're going to the beach and stuff.

She said to me "i dont want to get into another relationship" etc. But in one message she said it's nothing to do with my hotness and some other stuff, so i reckon she thinnk's i'm good lookin or whatever, and then she's inviting me down to her place to sleep in her bed for 2 nights.
She did also say at some stage "i am totally against sleeping with someone just for the sake of it".. or something along those lines, and she's talked about some fella she's really upset over.

But why would she pick me as someone to be a friend with?? I've no problem going there and having a laugh, but it's my first time there and what do i do if i bump into someone i like lol

One more point i forgot to mention, there was a night i met her, and i kinda tried to cancel as i was meeting another girl (well she came up to me in the pub and started yapping to me saying she'd seen me around before, and she remembered seeingme the week before in the pub) (this is after all the "just friends" talk). Anyway she walked into the pub in the middle of me chatting to this otherone. And they ended up talking to each other lol.

The next night i was textin yer one and she was rattling on about this other bloke, and i got a text from the one i met in the pub asking did i want to meet her for a drink. This girl in all fairness was lovely. Blonde, slim, lovely looking, great job, but not my type, as in i'm a bit of a converse man....

I told the other girl this thinking it was cool and she started saying ah no, why dont you do something with me etc, and that was the first night she came over to my place.

When we were talking about it she was doing that "oooh why don't you ask so-and-so to go with you" in that whiney jealous/joking voice thingy.

And she's mentioned the girl a few times even though i told her i had no interest.

BeardyGit

Piste wrote:

Man I hate it when you can't meet up with a guy or hug him or whatever cos they'll think you mean something by it.

OP Just ask her straight out so you don't go getting the wrong idea and making a tit of yourself.

It's incredible just how much of this crap goes on these days. When did saying "It's great to see you again" lose its worth as a way of letting friends know how you feel to meet them again. Who the hell decided it would be okay to start this rubbish of hugging male friends, just for the hell of it, every time you haven't seen 'em for a week?

Lads, for the love of pete, stop allowing these kind of girls to play with you. Girls who go around vacuously hugging every lad they think should adore them and their fake enthusiasm are a waste of valuable effort - Effort you should be saving for people who actually give a shít to see you.

Even if you get a little stiffy and a dose of rosy cheeks for a minute, you're kidding yourself if you think little miss attention whore actually wants hugs from *just* you. These girls are responsible to more confusion and head-melt than they're worth.....

OP, this girl sounds like she's into you, but afraid of being too up front in case you're playing the field or just not interested yourself. Stop the messing about, and ask the question if you want the answer. And don't forget, no hugs for attention whores in the meantime.

Dord

OP: it sounds like she's getting jealous of the other girl, even though you said nothings going on. maybe she's playing her cards close to her chest.

I'd say you should go along with the being friends thing for the moment and see what comes into the equation next. If I were you I'd continue to pursue other "interests" . she'll eventually let her feelings be known.

AthAnRi

I used to always say tell her how you feel. However I am begining to change that opinion. You need to make a move. If you tell her how you feel it could frighten her off a bit. Just make a move already. If you are afraid of being rejected then first hold her had and play with her hair. You will get a good indication of whether or not she is willing to allow you to take things a little bit further.

I knew a girl once and was in a very similar situation. I used to be very close with her but I never made a move. Looking back on it and without trying to sound bigheaded I always felt that if I had made a move then It would have been a succesful one. However I told her how I felt and she lost interest.

Also the fear of rejection actually worse than rejection itself. If you get rejected then you will know where you stand and then you can become her friend. But just letting things linger will drive you crazy.

AthAnRi

Piste wrote:

Man I hate it when you can't meet up with a guy or hug him or whatever cos they'll think you mean something by it.

OP Just ask her straight out so you don't go getting the wrong idea and making a tit of yourself.

OK so if it doesn't 'Mean' something then why do you do it? Does it not become a pointless exercise then?

Nevyn

A hug is a good thing and an epression of friendship and closness.
It should not be condues with wanting to snog the face of someone or shag them.

Really are we THAT screwed up as a society that a guy getting a hug from a girl
thinks she wants to shag him ?

AthAnRi

Thaedydal wrote:

A hug is a good thing and an epression of friendship and closness.
It should not be condues with wanting to snog the face of someone or shag them.

Really are we THAT screwed up as a society that a guy getting a hug from a girl
thinks she wants to shag him ?

Exactly but it does mean something. Also a hug is slightly different to snuggling up to someone in bed me thinks.

EDIT: My bad, just reread op and saw that he said cuddling not neccesarily in bed. However cuddling is also different to hugging. a hug is something you give somone when you meet them or are saying goodbye to them. It lasts about 5+ seconds. Cuddling is more sensual than hugging IMO.

uberpixie

Unregedit wrote:

She's been texting me saying she's making me dinner etc and we're going to the beach and stuff.
She said to me "i dont want to get into another relationship" etc.

This means I want to have my cake and eat it too. All the attention and noe of the hassle.

Unregedit wrote:

But in one message she said it's nothing to do with my hotness and some other stuff, so i reckon she thinnk's i'm good lookin or whatever, and then she's inviting me down to her place to sleep in her bed for 2 nights.

This means she likes the idea of having a good looking guy at her beck and call and has no real intention of sleeping with you, but loves the attention.

Unregedit wrote:

She did also say at some stage "i am totally against sleeping with someone just for the sake of it".. or something along those lines, and she's talked about some fella she's really upset over.

This meas "I am not going to sleep with you, I fancy someone else" in wimmin talk.

Unregedit wrote:

But why would she pick me as someone to be a friend with??

She loves the attention.

Unregedit wrote:

And she's mentioned the girl a few times even though i told her i had no interest.

She doesn't like the idea of you not fancying her even though she has no intention of sleeping with you.

In short cut the cancer. This girl will totally mess your head if you let her.

Don't be at her beck and call, go out have a laugh with your mates, start doing something for yourself.

The exact same thing is happening to my best friend at the mo and its horrible to have to watch and knowing you will have to pick up the pieces afterwards.

imeatingchips

the answer to your question is this:

squeeze her boob

if she likes you, she will then kiss the face off you if she doesn;t she will then slap you. but at least you know where you stand.


edit: plus, at least you got to squeeze her boob

sinjin_smythe

imeatingchips wrote:

the answer to your question is this:

squeeze her boob

if she likes you, she will then kiss the face off you if she doesn;t she will then slap you. but at least you know where you stand.


edit: plus, at least you got to squeeze her boob

well thats a win win situation if ever i heard of one !:)

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

yeah, best post so far in this thread

Floppybits

imeatingchips wrote:

the answer to your question is this:

squeeze her boob

if she likes you, she will then kiss the face off you if she doesn;t she will then slap you. but at least you know where you stand.


edit: plus, at least you got to squeeze her boob

Maybe if she has a nice ass you could squeeze that first and then move onto the boob. Either way its a win win situation, you cop a feel and if she likes it she will let you know and if she doesnt you can always pretend it was an accident.

LegacyUser

'Im back... (went up this weekend)

OK. Went up there, we got on swimmingly, went out did loads of stuff , got food etc. Then we both hit the town. Great town.
We were having a right laugh and at about 1 (early in the night ish) she asked me to bring her home. So i did. And im sure you can imagine what happened next. Excellent.

Then on Saturday woke up, did other stuff, went into town had a good laugh, did loads of silly stuff in the park etc, then we got ready to go out again, she invited a few of her best mates around and we all went out. Apparently they all said i was lovely, and she seemed delighted, great bunch she hangs out with. Great night, same again.

Today we basically hung out in her place, watched a DVD and then we were both going to the station, so we kissed and she said she could get used to me hanging around, and we parted.

About 15 mins later i got a text saying she missed me already ;-D

Just letting everyone know what happened, so you can draw your own conclusions from the signs she gave me etc, and the responses and all that.'

imeatingchips

Unregedit wrote:

...she asked me to bring her home. So i did. And im sure you can imagine what happened next.

you squeezed the booby?

SarahSassy

Frankly is sounds like she is playing with you and wants to keep you hanging and there for her to pick up and drop when she wants.....