Moody housemate

LegacyUser

My friend has been been rude & moody over the last few weeks and I've no idea what to do. I'm brutal at confrontation and I try to avoid it because I don't like arguing which I've no doubt it would turn into as she would be very touchy (but would probably wind up really upset). We share a house and the atmosphere is really tense all the time. I can't afford to move out and believe me if I could I would. I don't want to fall out with her but the mood swings (talking to me one minute, ignoring me or snapping the next) is really affecting everything I do.

If it was a constant state where we shared a house but cooled the friendship, I could deal with it, but I never know what I'm dealing with, whether she'll speak to me or not. She, like me, is the type that prefers to work through stuff before talking about it so I've given her space to do it if that's what's going on, but I'm all out of space at this stage.

I've tried being as normal as I can but now I'm starting to get to the stage where I'm thinking feck you, you've been horrible to me for the last few weeks and I'm doing my own thing. What bugs me is when someone bar me and two other people that she's being horrible to (we'd probably be the closest to her), she's really nice to them and laughing and joking!

Can't believe I'm even posting this up but I'm really at the end of my tether. Anyone have any advice to offer please? Thanks

Ruu_Old

You can either keep quiet about it and continue being miserable or confront her and maybe it will help clear the air. I don't think you have much of a choice here even though it is something you don't enjoy doing.

Carrigart Exile

How about a simple 'are you feeling okay, you've seemed awfully tense theses past few weeks'. If she takes this as an opening to blurt out what's wrong great. If she doesn't then do not put up with it for one more minute. Next time she is snappy, tell her whilst she speaks to you like that you refuse to speak to her and walk away.

You should just go about your life really
Some people find the effort too much if they have other stuff in their life
They know your there they'll talk to you if they want something

I go through stages of where if i have not been around in a while
i don't make the effort of conversation or small talk with my roommates
A greeting is all they will get
I’m not nor ever will be mates with them no reason why
But in the end of the day my house is my sanctuary so whether or not they perceive me to be a rude bitch is their problem

Clarehobo

OP: you have two options
1) Confront the issue OR
2) Continue ignoring it & hope it goes away

There's enough nasty people in this world without your friend being like that to you: as CSG said

the end of the day my house is my sanctuary

It's where you should be comfortable and feel safe.

If you see these mood swings going on indefinitely, I'd sit her down & have a chat & find out what the hell is up with her.
If that doesn't clear the air, just tell her straight up what she's doing to you - if that reality check doesn't snap her out of it you'll have to rethink the moving...

Option 2 only works if the mood swings aren't indefinite: we went through a stage like this with one of our friends - never got to the bottom of it but she just seemed to come out of it on her own and everything was fine:cool:

Either way, good luck with it ~ we've all been there with the crap flatmates/friends:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

'Thanks very much for the replies.

Ruu and carrig I know confrontation is the only way, have to just get the bottle up to do it!!! :O

Coolsmiley, we are friends years that's why I'm bothered, if I were living in a house with strangers I'd be grand about it, it's that we have been friends so long is why I've a problem.

Clare that's it, like your friend I think she will snap out of it, but I think it's gotten to the stage now where we don't know how to speak to each other anymore without it being stilted.

Ah it will all hopefully work out, thanks again.'