Head over Heals

LegacyUser

Young male in early 20's, basically i'm head over heals in love with a girl, the problem is she's my ex and don't know if she would consider getting back with me.

We broke up about 9 months ago after going out for 9 months and it was brilliant. Took her for granted but always treated her well and loved her.

She was drunk recently and called me cause she broke up with another boyfriend and was saying she still cares for me and misses me, but when confronmting her the day after she denies this and says she doesn't want to get back with me, so I left it there.

The problem occured again last weekend when we met up at a mutual friend's party, there was definately something between us, but have tried texting her since and would only get 1 or 2 texts back before she stops.

I really do love her and I feel she does still have feelings for me. Does anyone have any idea how to win this girl back, or at least find out for sure. Its doing my head in!

aye

right, she broke up with you, got with someone else, broke up with him, and now is flirting with you.
that the gist of it?

i'd say leave it be til she sorts her head out.
she sounds like a girl who cant go long without a boyfriend.

she texted you when drunk, and had broken up with her boyfriend, so essentially she was on the rebound, and rang a guy she knows likes her.
then gets you to call over to comfort her, but denies it.
sounds a bit dodgy but i could be wrong.

give her a bit of space, dont text her unless its for something.
if you see her out just act casual.
i hope it works out for you by the way.

syberspud

I think this sounds like a lost cause. You already confronted her and she denied wanting to get back with you - she's just looking for attention, lets be perfectly honest about it. Trust me, she knows you're still mad about her and that is NO position for a single guy to be in - especially at the start of this cracking summer. Remember, the real love of your life could be just around the corner. Why give up the game and feel depressed for a girl you clearly can't have? What else can you really play for? I suppose, you could make one massive over-the-top hollywood style romantic move for her, spill your guts, etc - even if she rejected you, it would surely be a cathartic experience. If ya ain't up for that, it's time to be brutally honest and forget all about her. It's not easy I know but start thinking about yourself and not her. Anyway, whateva ya do, hope it works out and ya sort yer head out!

Ruu_Old

I would let her get things straight in her head. She denied wanting a relationship with you so I would just leave it at that for now. Don't go waiting around for her either.

Isobel

In the words of the Budweiser frog "Let it go louis, let it go"

You're wasting your time, as AYE said she was pissed and on the rebound, I'm sure there's loads of people on here (including myself) that'll admit to at least once being drunk and ringing their ex and then waking up the next morning and remembering and being morto about it :eek:

LegacyUser

She wasn't morto after it, she did admit to me that she does miss me but she just feels that it won't work, i think she might be scared or something cause there definately is still something between us, and a lot of people who are mutual friends think the same. I haven't been able to talk to her properly 1 on 1 in months so just need help getting her to meet up with me for a chat. any ideas on that?

spurious

Missing someone doesn't mean wanting them back.
There were reasons why you broke up and they are still the same.

I'd say you should move on. I know you think you'll never feel the same again about anyone else (we've all been there) but you will, believe me.

Isobel

Unreg10101 wrote:

She wasn't morto after it, she did admit to me that she does miss me but she just feels that it won't work, i think she might be scared or something cause there definately is still something between us, and a lot of people who are mutual friends think the same. I haven't been able to talk to her properly 1 on 1 in months so just need help getting her to meet up with me for a chat. any ideas on that?

Chloroform?

No seriously honey she was morto she just didn't admit it to you, I seriously think you're setting yourself up for a fall here and the second one is always a harder landing than the first. If she wanted to be with you she'd put in the effort but it's obvious that no-matter what feelings she has for you she doesn't see you's as a prospective relationship. She's moved on, it's time you did too.

humanji

Unreg10101 wrote:

She wasn't morto after it, she did admit to me that she does miss me but she just feels that it won't work, i think she might be scared or something cause there definately is still something between us, and a lot of people who are mutual friends think the same. I haven't been able to talk to her properly 1 on 1 in months so just need help getting her to meet up with me for a chat. any ideas on that?

She doesn't want a relationship with you. She's on the rebound and that's all. She needs her space and her freedom. As Isobel said, if she wanted to get back together, then you'd be together. But for now, that's not what you want, and trying to work out some plan to get her to think she wants to get back with you will result in disaster. Just let her go. It's for the best. Maybe, sometime in the future, you might get back together, but it is unlikely and you should keep up your hopes for it.

aye

Isobel wrote:

Chloroform?

No seriously honey she was morto she just didn't admit it to you, I seriously think you're setting yourself up for a fall here and the second one is always a harder landing than the first. If she wanted to be with you she'd put in the effort but it's obvious that no-matter what feelings she has for you she doesn't see you's as a prospective relationship. She's moved on, it's time you did too.

i would listen to this OP.
we've all been there and its not easy.
there is always another girl, and with the summer coming up there will be more.
so try to move on, go out have some fun, even book a weekend away with your mates, sweden would an excellent place for getting over a girl!

just try to get it out of your head. it may take a while, but you'll feel better soon enough.

Mighty_Mouse

Next time she texts you.
Reply:
"no worries lady,
but dont see point in us txtin as
its clear you've no interest.
Gonna move on properly & best if we operate radio silence
hope you have a good one"

Something along those lines.
At least you'll know the score.
Sounds like she's keeping you as her back-up.
The dude that --- if all else fails.................the guy that gives her the confidence boost when necessary.
Makes her feel chased etc ..........

Text the above and then go blankety blank.
Delete her number immediately.
That way she'll be forced to make a decision and you'll get closure one way or another

Miss Fluff

Sounds like she's all over the place sweetheart. She's just broken up with someone, is vulnerable, craves reassurance that she is attractive and fanciable so she contacts you when she knows you will tell her what she wants to hear.

I'd leave her to it, if she really wants to get back with you you will know (and it won't be from weepy phonecalls or drunken texts). Sorry to be harsh but that's what it seems like to me. I mean she MAY really want to get back with you but on the rebound is not the time to decide that really.





FYI, it is spelt "heels" not "heals"